V-Flyer

This being leg 3 of LGW-DXB 18/8, DXB-BOM 19/8 then back to LGW via DXB on 20/8. Since I had determined not to work on this flight, I had some extra time to be wordy [:)].

Mumbai Airport I arrive at 2.30 am for 4.30 am flight, check-in is woefully inadequate with four desks for a 777-300, two for economy, one for business and one for First. Long queue for the initial bag screening (hold baggage always being screened before check-in at Indian airports) but a man appears and leads me to the front of the queue then I realise he is not an Emirates gofer but essentially a hawker who helps for money. Not having any Rupees I give him two US Dollars, he seems happy. Check in by a surly man, then the immigration form (really emigration but hey, who cares), a surly woman this time, then another ticket and passport check, then the hand baggage screening, then another check of the ticket and the stamped hand baggage label (never forget to put a tag on your carry-ons to be stamped by security) and finally down one floor into the airport proper. Warning Mumbai airport is being improved by its current owners and the place is a mess of building works, corridors that turn into mazes etc., but I go looking for the EK lounge (which was the Oberoi lounge but summat has happened and that doesnt exist any more so its the Celebration apparently. In my early hours daze my search leads seemingly nowhere until a young man appears, says 'Emirates' to me and leads me to a lounge ... there's no outward sign that this is anything to do with Emirates or indeed safety, but like a mug I follow.

Oh woe ... this is the direst airport lounge I have ever been in. Like a vast caravan on a dodgy park in some part of England (I hesitate to say Skegness for fear of upsetting anyone) ... hideous red velour seats, over heated, drapes hanging off runners, a bar with bottle brands no one has ever heard of, pictures on the walls that are Fosters lager posters from the Jurassic age ... people walking around with stunned looks on their faces ... I really expected to see a ciggie-stained-fingers bingo teller appear and start shouting out numbers. It was gruesome. But theres no where else to go. To add to my misery, I spot CNN and the news story features pictures of a woman in distress pulling her hair out, thats just how I felt. What I would have done for GJ2.0 (the newly Web savvy GJ) to witness this too and liven me up with repartee ... oh well, I hope the flights on time and I can board into a bit of cool first class comfort.

But ... things take a turn for the worse - a woman sits opposite me, I look up and she's smiling - sort of madly, then she smiles more and makes face movements I can only describe as 'come ons', then she rubs her foot on mine. OMG are there hookers in the lounge too, or is she mad! [:0] I move. She doesn't follow. Now on a heightened sense of awareness and its only 330 am!

Oh did I tell you about the flies?

And I won't mention the lavatories ...

Am beginning to think I have been transported somewhere else and in need of an unruly hang glider as means of escape!

At last, boarding is announced, I heave myself out of the velour thinking I may be stuck to it (yuck) but finally on board and its a 777-300ER with 12 seats in first class, that means ICE and the last but one seat update, aka beds but not cabins. However its only a short 2 _ flight so instead of sleeping I decide to have breakfast, then catch up on sleep on the leg to London. As with my two previous flights the pursar made a special point of saying hello (very noticeable now I have reached Skywards Gold, VS take note, despite the next flight) and several times refilled my champagne (Dom Perignon too, which is unusual on India legs, frequently EK downgrade the service by several notches between Dubai and India compared to London, including serving NV Moet). All round lovely crew, after a slightly late departure we landed early, so no problem there, oh and breakfast was good too.

However, landing we taxied to a remote terminal (again ... the airport extension really cant come soon enough) and the long bus ride to the transit gates, quick bag and shoe scan and turfed into the hell that is Dubai duty free, yup, its not just BAA that tips you into such hideosity. Well, having shopped on the way out, I left that as quickly as possible and heaved my way through the hoards to the first class lounge. Still a bit tired and uninviting but at least peaceful and the coffee is good.

EK015 DXB-LGW FIRST

Back to a more traditional TR here ...

After an all to short pit stop it was back out into the terminal and the not quite so heaving masses (EK have flights to Birmingham, Glasgow, Manchester, Heathrow and Gatwick leaving between 7.45 and 8.15 am, so no shortage of Brits around). Short walk to gate 19, priority boarding (which like Virgin does not always work nor is it clearly sign posted) and on through jet bridge A (at least at DXB when you get a gate theres usually two jet bridges, one for first and business only. I can also see at the extension building the double-decker bridges for EKs 50+ 380s when they start arriving this year, actually there was one parked at a remote stand today, I think in Airbus colours).

I didnt to a TR for the outbound from LGW to BOM, but it was generally excellent. I was in business class, the staff were great, food excellent, a little rest and watched some fine movies like High Society! However, I was in First on the return and normally one would expect a little better. Sadly not there are lots of ways that EK meets VSs variability in service such as the pursar on this trip barely moved from a sitting position, a number of times I had to visit the galley to ask for refreshment or pop, to find four crew idling around not having been seen in the cabin for ages. The plane was an older 777-200 with the old fashioned and somewhat uncomfortable seats, small IFE screens and channels running on tape loops (EK has too many seat versions and combinations of IFE it seems to me). Very poor selection of films but after a two hour kip I watched Children of Men, which I had anticipated for a while but found sadly dull (this on one of those in seat tape thingies).

The crew were actually pleasant, when you could find them, and there were only six people in first class so an occasional foray wouldnt have hurt them to much I thought.

A quite northerly route today, not far off Kiev and then across southern Poland. Nice ride over the Black Sea and Yalta, with lots of interesting and suspicious sights from the window over Russia or perhaps Ukraine (?), oil fields, tankers on the water and what looked like air force and even nuclear bases!

Having slept through breakfast, and indeed eating it purposely on the BOM-DXB flight, I was getting peckish and lunch was taking ages to appear. Evetually they started serving with 2 hrs 19 mins left on the flight map now meals on EK do not come when you want them (as in no Freedom Menu, not even in first) but I normally find that the crew will make an effort if you dont want to follow the set plan, however meals in business and first can be lengthy affairs so I felt it likely that today it would be somewhat truncated.

For an aperitif I quaffed a few Dom Perignons, then looking at the wine list (always beats VS hands down) this is what I found:

Champagne
Dom Perignon 1999

White wine
Corton-Charlemagne Domaine Bonneau du Martray 1991 Burgundy, France
Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc 2005 Marlborough New Zealand

Red wine
Chateau Palmer 1997 Bordeaux, France
Ridge, Geyserville 2003 Zinfandel, California
Tapanappa, Whalebone Winery 2003 Wrattonbully New Zealand

Dessert wine
Chateau Guiraud 1997 Sauternes France

Port
Warres 1994

Now thats quite a list. I was tempted by the Palmer, but had no great expectations of the 1997 it being a right bank year and not renowned in any case, recently Palmer is on a resurgence, quality and prices have shot up and indeed I purchased two cases of the 2006, but not this one. The Burgundy looked interesting so Ill have that thinks I, but another Dom Perignon while the caviar comes out. Then with main course Ill try the Tapanappa.

Menu choice today (I've skipped the breakfast):

Cocktails and canap_s
teriyaki kebabs, seafood dumplings, chicken koftie and vegetable puffs

Appetiser
Iranian Caviar and the trimmings
selection of Arabic Mezze
marinated roast duck

Soup and salad
Acacia honey-roasted pumpkin soup
seasonal salad

Main course
slow-roasted beef tenderloin
pan-seared sea bass
chicken with zataar crust
gnocchi with goats cheese sauce
hammour fillet
a la carte vegetasbles

Dessert
Pavlova with fruit compote
walnut and coffee pie
ice cream

Cheese

Fruit

Tea, chocolate and coffee.

Well, it would be rude to refuse Caviar, especially because I really do like it so that was good. And in pure selfless interests of the V-Flyer community I went for the Gnocchi partly because it is a favourite comfort food, partly because the most disastrous VS UC meal I ever had was rock-like, tasteless Gnocchi in a yucky gorgonzola sauce so I thought Id provide an obviously objective comparison well the EK version was not good but not quite as bad and I had it with the beef which was tasty. Memo, Gnocchi at 36,000 feet is never likely to be good it needs to be cooked fresh.

Im not usually a pudding man, preferring cheese, however the pavlova was very nice.

The Burgundy was interesting, but I felt past its peak it had all the taste of good Chardonnay but it was a little bitter. The Tapanappa however was a triumph. A Cabernet Shiraz unlike Australias over fruity, over drunky concoctions, but with an old world taste of earthiness (posh earthiness like spray on mud!), rich and chocolaty, recognisably Cabernet and hintingly but not overpoweringly Shiraz, absolutely lovely. Im off to Wines of the World in Clapham (excellent people btw, highly recommended) to see if they can source me some.

Touch down into a cold, wet and windy Gatwick slight early - this came as a shock as I exited in linen shirt ... IRIS was working and since I was fist off I was quickly into the baggage hall. 20 minutes later the bags arrived, mine fifth and out we go to find the CDC - all reasonably efficient too.

Overall lots of good points and a fair few bad points on this trip generally the bad coming with the final sector only since my outbound sectors were very good. I hope it shows that other airlines can be inconsistent too, and I observed that a good pursar (FSM) leads their crew to excellent service on EK, just like VS.