V-Flyer

It was a titanic struggle between two forces; would friction or gravity triumph ? Quite why I took my belt off a full 10 minutes before I needed to is still a mystery. Perhaps the announcements about helping the security process by removing coats, taking laptops out of bags and putting all liquids in plastic bags were weaving a strange kind of magic and I was under some kind of spell that said that removing my belt early would contribute to speeding the queue. It was, of course, to no avail and we shuffled and cursed and perspired and queue jumped (you know who you are) and held up the line by demanding that your pregnant wife not pass through the scanner as it would harm the baby. Dulce et decorum est pro patria patior, perhaps. (Sub-Ed. Please correct. Too far into 3rd pint to work it out. Cheers, hic. PJH)

So I needed to fly STN to GLA. CWT managed, despite asking for this route to give me a lot of options from LGW and LHR (are they determined to promote the M25?) and one from STN - Air Berlin. So, I thought, why not? I can always return to the charms of Easyjet if needed.

Purple Parking having taken care of the car it was up to the terminal. No queue at check in, presumable because they were all at security. Apart from the lack of progress through, this was notable for two things; a rigorous enforcement of the 1 bag carry on limit and a lot of men looking quite haggard with what appeared to be woad daubed on their faces. Presumably something rugby related I concluded.

Once through security, I needed a drink. Unfortunately I chose the Mordor like depths of Wetherspoons; it still feels like people are smoking there even if they aren't. As it turned out, and in case you do ever travel from Stansted, there's a quite civilised Wetherspoons bar / cafe around Gate 33.

Once at the gate boarding starts a little late, but as the area isn't exactly rammed I suspect we'll be getting away on time. Today's conveyance is a Fokker F100, which looks slightly unusual amongst the plethora of 737s coming and going.

Once aboard, I find I'm seated over the wing, window seat as requested, on the two side of the two / three configuration. Seats are leather, leg room not bad at all.

Push back about 5 minutes late. In the intervening period there was the entertainment of watching the turnaround on a Ryanair flight. No sooner were the bags off than the bags for the next flight were being loaded.

Once in the air, things began to feel slightly...different. All the announcements are made first in German. And they are not short and concise. Actually, the p.a. was terrible, so perhaps that just made them feel longer.

Despite the promises of the in-flight magazine (and the website) there is nothing at all to purchase on this flight. You do, however, get water and a small chocolate cake as part of the package.

Seats were comfortable, but I found the flight noisy. I think at row 15 I was further back in the aircraft than I expected to be, and was actually quite close to engines at the rear.

My choice of a window seat afforded me a view of little of the world below as cloud covered England and a good part of Scotland; now cloud can be interesting in the formations it makes, but only for a short time. It breaks up just as we approach Glasgow, and so some great views of water and hills as we descend on time.

Landing shares the LCC tendency to hit the runway fairly hard, and once down we're onto the taxiway sharpish, passing a seaplane as we go. Getting off the aircraft is done in fairly short order, and once at the carousel bags are not long in arriving.

Then to a taxi into town and a fare that made my eyes water. I'm sure he looked at me and thought, 'let's see what we can get away with...'

Overall, not a bad trip. Good seats, some service and a price slightly lower on the day than Easyjet (the only real competitor from Stansted). As far as I can see the only downside is the lack of choice of flight times...

Paul