IB6546 SJU-MAD 27 FEB 11 (BUSINESS PLUS)
Posted: 28 Feb 2011, 21:07So I made my way to SJU and as I wasn't flying via the US I didn't need to have my bags scanned and an FDSA sticker attached to my checked bags before checkin! Yay! A minor result. Over to check in where a perfectly competent individual checked me in and enquired if I was still happy with my bulkhead seat? Having played seat roulette on the way over I assured him that I was. I would come to regret those words.
Bags checked through to LHR via MAD I was told that I could avail myself of the AA Lounge which was "opposite Gate 12". This was, apparently, shorthand for "on the other side of the airport miles away from your gate 27". So I schlepped over there and was buzzed in to the Admiral's Club to join a queue of one. A large muscular gentleman with arm in sling who was remonstrating that as his flight had been delayed for several hours he just needed a place far from the madding crowd. The check in person went through the options - "Are you flying Business? No. Do you have Elite status? No. Are you a member of the Admiral's Club? No.... well in that case I can sell you an entry pass". Fair play the gentleman got his wallet out and proffered a note. "Oh we don't have any change - can I just serve this gentleman then go find change?" "Of course". Boarding pass offered and waved into the lounge. "By the way - this gentleman is my guest" "I'm sorry?" "I AM allowed a guest aren't I?" "well yes..." "then this gentleman is my guest"... he walks in with a smile and the check in person relieved of the hassle of dealing with a transaction that will just cause her grief flashes me a major smile and welcomes me to the Admiral's Club.
What a pile of tosh. The only food was cookies or chex. All alcoholic drinks had to be paid for... so off to the bar for a Medalla and as I proffered my money a low Spanish murmur from my right drew my attention to El Slingio... the barman said "It's OK - he's got it"... bless. So I returned to my seat and messaged away until I judged it time for boarding.
Got to Gate 27 and it was a clusterf***. No signed priority boarding and people milling around everywhere. I did my usual "stand to one side and observe" and realised that the unmarked business queue was at the other side of the podium so I moved over there and joined the dozen or so waiting people.
Now earlier I'd noticed the sort of person you pray is not going to be sitting next to you wandering around the terminal. 20 something, number 1 haircut, tips died blonde carrying a large pillow, a huge stuffed toy and sporting the most monstrous pair of Crocs with multiple decorative attachments. He looked like he'd just woken up from a bad acid trip. When I got to my seat... you've guessed it. He'd taken over most of the overhead and quickly settled down, reclined his bed, covered himself with the blanket provided and hugging the stuffed animal with one hand, covering his face partially with the pillow and sucking his thumb (yes, really) promptly fell asleep snoring to himself (and the rest of the cabin).
I was not best pleased - Iberia don't do personal space per se. The seats may lie flat but nothing separates you from a complete stranger other than an armrest (and in the case of my neighbour on the flight out - a large amount of flatulence). This gentleman had no concept of personal space and flopped into the aisle or my foot area. As we approached take off I was becoming concerned. Iberia aren't big on securing cabins (on the flight over one of the crew were still in the galley as we landed and the floor area was far from clear) so this gentleman was still reclined. As we approached the runway an FA rushed over and tried to wake him. Gentle talking failed so a more robust shake was ventured. This did the trick. Dazed and confused he returned his seat to upright. I caught the FA's eye and motioned him over - "Perhaps you'd also like to ask him to turn off his cell - I'm sure it was ringing a minute ago". The FA looked a little taken aback but asked my neighbour if he'd turned his phone off - a quick rummage showed that he hadn't and with a heavy sigh he turned it off.
Shortly after takeoff he turned on his IFE and ignoring the headset in the pouch in front of him rang his call bell to request a set of headphones. The flustered CSD (or whatever IB call them) went off to try and find a set - returning 5 minutes later with a new set. I gesticulated to the set in the pocket and she did one of those comical eye rolls we all know and love.
The rest of the flight was spent with him dropping stuff into my floor space or lolling into the aisle. I real;y suspect he'd never flown before but that begs the question what he was doing in Business Plus?
As for the flight... well the food was passable. A starter of cheese, veal consomme and a duck breast salad - with a huge amount of breast. A main of Red Snapper, sauteed potatoes, asparagus and squash. The food wss passable, the wine adequate. The service was a little inattentive but not rude. The IFE ws limited but on demand and the inseat power was mains voltage with a US plug. All in all it just felt that - despite the lie flatbed that allowed me to grab a few hours sleep - the airline was positioning itself a decade ago.
In honesty I'd try and avoid that routing again even though it omits the need for an overnight in NYC. It was nowhere near the standard of BA Club which given the closeness of their alliance must at least give pause for thought.
) yup confirmed my prejudices