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#237131 by BransonDisciple
31 Jul 2005, 20:19
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And so, at last it came time to leave the storied land of Victoria, empire, tower blocks and Pret's pickled onion crisps.

I arrived at LHR via HEX at 8:55am for my 11am departure to SFO. Do any other honourable members of V-Flyer prefer, as do I, to take HEX to LHR vs. the motorway crapshoot of the Virgin-provided car service?

I would say the car service is most certainly my least-utilized UC benefit...I just appreciate the planned 15-minute journey of HEX vs. the possibility of long delays because the main motorway has construction ongoing, or, in the city, an entire block or two are closed off while the latest Al-Quaeda cell is rousted out of their hideaway.

But I digress...

After the pleasure of riding a lift from HEX arrival level to the check-in desk level that was obviously a New Labour scheme for providing free, therapeutic heat to the old and infirm, I arrived a bit sweaty at check-in at 9am exactly.

There were 11 people in front of me, each of whom apparently had some kind of issue -- 'Yes, I know it says seat 5K, but I was wondering if you could instead put me in 2A and hang Belgian lace in the window, as well since I cannot fly without Belgian lace present. And if there is a single peanut on the plane I shall die. And, by the way, I have a moggy named Sergeant Major Pickles in my bag and I want to bring her aboard.' You know, that kind of thing.

After finally making it to the head of the line, I was halted by the Securicor representative who challenged me with the usual questions ('What is the capital of Latvia?' 'How many jags does Prescott really own?' 'If an Islington public school lad has 5 pounds in his pocket and he buys a Cadbury Fruit & Nut at 1 pound 50, how much money will he have after he becomes a people's peer?')

Finally past this rigorous link in the chain of Britain's national security, I was welcomed by a very apologetic desk clerk ('So sorry for the long wait, sir'). My check-in took all of 3 minutes and then i was on my way to Fast Track security which took 7 minutes to navigate.

Though somewhat enticed by the siren call of the duty free shops as nothing truly enticed -- the Paul Smith jumper I'd seen at Selfridge's was not here (and at 189 quid on Oxford Street I was only buying it duty free) nor was the jumper I'd seen at Pringle but that had not been in my size in the city (Only XXL at duty free -- too big for me!). Thomas Pink's shirts were too sedate in their patterning (give me boldness, Thomas!) And as you can now get all the HP sauce and pickle off the internet you'll ever need, I did not buy any of that, either.

Arriving at the lounge, I can safely report (as have others) that it is looking pretty cool. Virgin are definitely going for that whole 'mid-century modern' thing, and I have to say the color of marble on the new grand stairs is truly wonderful. A leather stair rail?!? Is that practical? Will it not look like a cat scratch pad in no time? Will a bootblack polish it every morning? Do I have to take the lift if I am a vegetarian?

I was waited on immediately after sitting at table #9, where I ordered two bacon rolls and a Bloody Mary (I planned to stay awake all day on this flight, so might as well be drunk if I'm going to be awake, i always say). Bacon rolls were served quickly with a smile and were big...or rather, big and bready!

I did not eat them all, but instead combined all the bacon from both rolls into one half of one of them and had a right proper porker, smothered with HP! I was grinning foolishly.

Followed this up with a cuppa and then waited to be called for boarding. I did not even try for a treatment because I really hoped to be chosen in flight for a massage.

Boarding was announced at 12 minutes after 10am, so I abandoned my tea
and made the short hike to gate 23. There was no special line for UC either outside the gate (though there was a sign indicating there should have been a priority line) or in the boarding room itself.

They called Upper Class and all types of classes got on (a Ken Livingstone dream, perhaps?). I saw PEs and even a few Y pax onboard when I made my way up the stairs to my favorite seat in all of aviation: 3K. Maybe they were AU?

I ordered up a Bucks Fizz and -- hooray! -- I got my Carlos!!! [:)]. Seeing that the two blokes in 1A and 1K had stowed bags on the shelf in front of them, I quietly mentioned to them that they might have to move them due to safety measures and they thanked me but said they'd try their luck -- and in about 20 seconds the lady came thru and told them to put their things in the stairtop wardrobe (told ya so, lads...).

The upper deck UC had several young kids again, one of whom managed to have his seat going in 20 different directions at once with every table down, the screen out and the reading lamp on. [:(] Thank god I don't try to sleep on this flight!

NON-PC ALERT: I know this has been discussed previously in previous threads, but I will say it anyway: I really wish Virgin would put children down in the main floor section and leave the top deck for sleepers or people who just note to VS that they would prefer a more business-friendly environment. For example, the kid in 4K kept opening and slamming her dining table before take-off...opening and slamming, opening and slamming, opening and slamming...argh!!!

But by far the good news in the midst of all this pre-pubescent yobbery was the realization that we had BANGERS AND MASH on the menu! Hooray! [:)]

Since this menu has already been reported (and slated) by so many of you, I will merely note for the sake of the historical record that we were also presented with options for lobster/crayfish salad and organic veg soup for starters, lemongrass and ginger chicken, a pearl barley risotto and my beloved bangers and mash as mains. The cheese plate included farmhouse cheddar, cashel blue and bougnon goat's cheeses and for sweets we had passion fruit tart and sticky toffee pud.

Smaller bites were steamed dim sum w/ sweet chili dip, fish and chips and a red onion and cheese tartlet. Tea choices were a sandwich selection of cheese and onion, egg mayo and tomato, and a chicken and veg, there was in addition a warm sultana scone with clotted cream and jam and a cake stand with various choices.

The captain crackled across on the tannoy and made some humorous announcements, but also delivered some bad news: we were going to be airborne no earlier than 35 mins after our scheduled 11am departure time due to ground control delays. LHR is Delaysville these days, it seems. [:(] Has anyone on here had an ontime LHR departure in recent memory?

We pushed back at 11:13am and taxied to what seemed to be Southend-on-Sea...all the while the merry moppets were adjusting their seats so there was a cacaphony of turning gears and squealing hydraulics (UCS seats are loud!) I could only think to myself: 'I'm so glad I spent all that money to have this relaxing experience...'

We were wheels up (WU) on V-FAB at precisely 11:38am.

IFBT came by at WU+12 minutes with amenity kit and treatment requests. I chose the upper back massage. Tearing into my kit with the glee of a child on Christmas morning who wants nothing in the world but a new pair of footy boots and a pair of Ozwald Boateng cufflinks, i found that my amenity kit gift was...a small mirror.

Kind of an odd bob, really, and since I do not apply lipstick or sniff cocaine I don't know what to do with it. But perhaps if I am ever lost in Harvey Nichols I can use it to signal a rescue!

Immediately afterward, I was asked for my dinner request...I ordered the lobster and crayfish salad and -- in your heart, you know I'm right -- the bangers and mash, as well as the sticky toffee pud. I requested the Pouilly Fuse to drink, just so I could say the words and sound all poncey.

Once V:Port kicked up at about WU+34 minutes, I elected to watch 'The Downfall' as I had enjoyed it previously AND had just returned from a visit to Berlin the day before this flight. It's an amazing film -- brilliantly acted and disturbing.

The salad was crisp and delicious -- the fish thereon was quite firm and flavorful. The bangers and mash were just fine -- if you want bangers and mash. It's never going to be chateaubriand avec sauce Bearnaise...it's just good old pub grub and warms the heart :-). Although I fully understand the argument that this kind of choice does not exactly impress when confronted with some of, say, Singapore's culinary choices. The pud was the BEST, however! Quite good.

Watched Little Britain's entire first series and had the unnatural urge to go walking through Y wearing some Arsenal kit and announce, 'I'm a lay-dee' but they were probably already having a tough enough time in those small seats so i decided not to inflict said torture.

At WU+ 6 hours, ice cream was served -- chocolate fudge brownie from Ben and Jerry's. For those of you seeking maximum detail in your trip reports, I can reveal it had cream, sugar, guar gum and carrageenan among its numerous ingredients.

Unfortunately, two negative experiences now followed in quick succession. First, I had to ask for coffee twice (oh, boo hoo, you say...but it's still a bother) and most bothersome I overheard the lady in 2A return from her IFBT treatment and tell her husband in 2K that she'd arranged for the lady to come up and get him in 5
minutes and that's exactly what happened...so much for random choice. Very uncool, and I was convinced that I would not get my massage! :-(

After Little Britain, I watched some Father Ted -- love the 'over-75 indoor football tournament' episode! Then I tried to start the map but it stayed stuck on 'please wait' even after several attempts.

Approximately WU+8 hours into the flight I was asked if I 'wanted anything else before we landed' as opposed to being offered 'afternoon tea' as I had been on previous UCS flights. I wondered if I'd somehow missed their tea offering. I went ahead and ordered the dim sum and a cuppa which was quickly served and reasonably tasty.

Thirty minutes before landing, the IFBT went up to the guy in 1K and apologized for not being able to provide him with a treatment and presented him with a priority card but she never gave me one. I had to ask the attendant for one -- again sloppy service consistency.

The FA assured me the IFBT would be by with a card for me. But this was not to be the case -- in the end the IFBT had magically disappeared in a puff of aromatherapeautic smoke as we off-loaded and, instead of ending up at the back of the customs queue, I went left the plane and resolved to write to VS and hope to get one from them by mail. [:(!]

We had landed spot on time and customs was a breeze...my bag was third on the belt and away I went to cath my connecting flight home to Seattle via Alaska Airlines.

All in all, I would rank this as a 'decent' trip...nowhere near as well-executed as the VS020 flight over to Blighty. I hate to say this (really, i do...), but given some of the service cock-ups on this flight, I will seriously consider giving British a try since they travel direct to/from Seattle but I will use some VS miles later this year for my annual Christmas shopping trip to London and give Virgin another chance.

Happy flying and thanks for reading my trip report!

BD
#306578 by preiffer
31 Jul 2005, 20:36
Another fantastic Trip Report, BD - thanks a lot [y][:D]

Originally posted by BransonDisciple
There were 11 people in front of me, each of whom apparently had some kind of issue -- 'Yes, I know it says seat 5K, but I was wondering if you could instead put me in 2A and hang Belgian lace in the window, as well since I cannot fly without Belgian lace present. And if there is a single peanut on the plane I shall die. And, by the way, I have a moggy named Sergeant Major Pickles in my bag and I want to bring her aboard.' You know, that kind of thing.
Don't you just love'em? Or the old 'My husband & I booked little David into Economy, while we're in Upper Class - we don't want him to be lonely, so can you put him with us for free?' [:(!]

Originally posted by BransonDisciple
There was no special line for UC either outside the gate (though there was a sign indicating there should have been a priority line) or in the boarding room itself.

They called Upper Class and all types of classes got on (a Ken Livingstone dream, perhaps?). I saw PEs and even a few Y pax onboard when I made my way up the stairs to my favorite seat in all of aviation: 3K. Maybe they were AU?
Seems to be increasingly reported that Priority Boarding doesn't always exist (despite much trumpeting from VS on the subject). They need to get this sorted. (I would guess that the Y & W's were Au's, but W's can usually board first anyway, with Upper.)

Originally posted by BransonDisciple
NON-PC ALERT: I know this has been discussed previously in previous threads, but I will say it anyway: I really wish Virgin would put children down in the main floor section and leave the top deck for sleepers or people who just note to VS that they would prefer a more business-friendly environment. For example, the kid in 4K kept opening and slamming her dining table before take-off...opening and slamming, opening and slamming, opening and slamming...argh!!!
Completely non-PC agree. Had a nightmare flight on the VS8 last weekend - kid screaming upstairs for 4.5 hours. (And although I have the highest level of sympathy for parents who's kids don't like to fly, this particular mother was not exactly helping matters to say the least... - Even the FSM gave up on her in the end)

Sounds like the IFBT thing was a real PITA. Maybe she happened to 'randomly select' her husband by chance, and then arranged to collect him [:p].

This is one of the real issues I have with VS' marketing, however - it's offered as a service in all of their materials; NOT a 'random event that might happen', but a service for Upper Class passengers to utilise. If you can't guarantee to offer something (like giving a massage to 50 people in 10 hours) then don't advertise it as such. (anyway, rant over [V])
#306579 by BransonDisciple
31 Jul 2005, 20:41
Originally posted by preiffer

This is one of the real issues I have with VS' marketing, however - it's offered as a service in all of their materials; NOT a 'random event that might happen', but a service for Upper Class passengers to utilise. If you can't guarantee to offer something (like giving a massage to 50 people in 10 hours) then don't advertise it as such.


Herr Pfeiffer -- that is SUCH a great point and one I had not even considered. You are absolutely right and I plan to make exactly this point in my letter to Virgin. Thanks for the great idea! Cheers to you.

BD
#306583 by slinky09
31 Jul 2005, 21:25
BD - another great readable report. Thank you - just a shame it wasn't as good as this way over!

- quite agree with the HEX, only wish there was a Virgin carriage with on board check in [:D]
- I do exactly the same with the bacon rolls and wash it down with a spicy bm (b4 12 noon, after it's champagne!)
- why do you not get Carlos on every flight? why is that so difficult
- due respect to you ... we're the only two people here who like bangers and mash [:p]
- go shucks PC, children on a 744 should be in the bar area only
- lots in the news at the moment about LHR delays, hooray for T5, that'll make life better [:(]
- yes IFBT needs to be sold better ... agree v much with preiffer ... it's not a bonus, it's part of the core service (had similar experiences to you)
- really look forward to your shopping trip and hope you post your BA review if you do that?
#306592 by jilly
31 Jul 2005, 23:08
Originally posted by slinky09
BD -
- due respect to you ... we're the only two people here who like bangers and mash [:p]
-

Make that three - I like the bangers and mash too but then as they say you can take the girl out of Yorkshire but you can't take Yorkshire out of the girl

Jilly
#306600 by mitchja
01 Aug 2005, 00:06
Another excellent TR and enjoyable read [y]

I didn't realise the bangers and mash were still flying with VS.....no sign of them in either direction on my recent J flight to NAS (thankfully [:D]).

Regards
#306623 by jaguarpig
01 Aug 2005, 11:32
Thanks for a good chuckle on a monday morning[:D]
#306634 by Dave Adkins
01 Aug 2005, 13:06
I agree with Jaguarpig, just what I needed to read on a wet wet wet monday morning. Looking forward to reading about the new menu when it comes out in a few days, but I would of liked to have tried the Bangers just to see what everybody is talking about[:)]
#306637 by iforres1
01 Aug 2005, 13:18
BD,

Thanks for 2 superb TR's, can't believe they were your first though.

Iain
#306643 by slinky09
01 Aug 2005, 14:24
Originally posted by jilly
Originally posted by slinky09
BD -
- due respect to you ... we're the only two people here who like bangers and mash [:p]
-

Make that three - I like the bangers and mash too but then as they say you can take the girl out of Yorkshire but you can't take Yorkshire out of the girl

Jilly


Let's start a bangers and mash appreciation sect [:p]
#306650 by RichardMannion
01 Aug 2005, 15:27
Loved this TR!

Certainly made me chuckle - and some very valid points raised!

Thanks,
Richard
#306654 by ChuckC
01 Aug 2005, 15:39
BD,
You are a saint for apparently having said nothing while all the seat gears were turning and tray tables flapping. Very PC of you.

Your TR was wonderfully entertaining. May I encourage you to fly more often so that we might have, say, a weekly chuckle?[:D]

I'd add nothing to Preiffer's comments as I agree with his assessments.

Thanks, BD. - Chuck
#306700 by buns
01 Aug 2005, 22:48
BD

An absolutely cracking TR, filled of beautifully painted pictures of your experience that had me in stitches[y][y][y]

Notwithstanding potential traffic diversions, would not the use of the car service have allowed to you avoided the ' I'm a laydee.. I must have super service!' at check in.

One final question, did you you get three sausages[?][?] I did on my last flight and felt that VS were trying to off load the remaining stockpile[;)]

Thanks once again

buns
#306710 by kkempton
01 Aug 2005, 23:33
Nothign much to coment about your trip report other than, wow, what an excelent piece of writing. It was amusing, to the point and a greta read. I look forward to reading more from you!
#306718 by BransonDisciple
02 Aug 2005, 01:11
Originally posted by buns4vs
BD

One final question, did you you get three sausages[?][?]


I believe I DID get three sausages! I chalked it up to less a conspiracy to reduce their pork-product risk profile and more to an attempt to bring the best out of the wurst...

Ba-dum-bum.

And to EVERYONE on this board who's made such kind remarks about my TR, I say 'thank you' most sincerely (and humbly) and I will make every effort to post more reports as soon as I can scrape together the farthings needed for a next jaunt to England.

BD
#307247 by s0436
05 Aug 2005, 11:54
So close, yet so far from enjoying the new UC menu.
#307308 by chris78cpr
05 Aug 2005, 21:07
Great TR! I found the bit about Belgian Lace and Sgt Moggy highly amusing!

Glad you had a good flight!

Chris
#307556 by HighFlyer
08 Aug 2005, 09:55
Oh gosh

can we have a prizehere please for most amusing TR to date!!!

Great writing, a pleasure to read!!
#307573 by easygoingeezer
08 Aug 2005, 11:26
I love fun TR's, thanks.


Erm[:I] I like the bangers and mash ( though a scabby donkey sarnie tastes good at altitude )...BUT..........
BRING BACK THE LAMB!!!!!!!!!HOW MANY MORE QUESTIONAIRES MUST I FILL OUT[xx(].

Ok happy now.[:D]
#307630 by shazam
08 Aug 2005, 18:44
What a great TR! I love your sense of humour [:D]

Thanks

Shaz
#307668 by BransonDisciple
08 Aug 2005, 21:38
Originally posted by HighFlyer
Oh gosh

can we have a prizehere please for most amusing TR to date!!!

Great writing, a pleasure to read!!


Well, I love reading your TRs very much so i guess we have a mutual admiration society, HighFlyer! :-)

Cheers,

BD
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