V-Flyer

5.30am start - ugh. The Tristar driver throws me a curve ball by suggesting that at this time of day it will be quicker to go through London rather than round the Magic Roundabout. I immerse myself in my IPod and the weekend newspapers ,noticing only a few patches of slow traffic until we get to the LHR spur road, which is packed solid. The driver takes me through Sipson - what a grim location for a town, but we get to the airport fine. In the end, the journey breaks even compared to the M25, but I don't know how much later we could have been getting from the M25 to the M4 in that traffic.

Check in fine, breeze through fast track and head for the CH. WOW - I wanted to walk around the whole place just to see what it all does. I probably didn't sit down for five minutes! Eventually sat near the big screen and had a full English - yum. I had pre-booked a haircut, which was great (an improvement on the previous one). I pick up papers and The Economist and GQ (a welcome return), then head back to the computers to check up on V-Flyer (I didn't log on all weekend!), but as soon as I'm in, the flight is called (8.45 - much earlier than it used to be!). They seem to have cleaned up boarding for the gates at the end of the pier - we left from gate 36, and there was a clear lane for J and Au.

Aircraft is FAB - Lady Pen, so we have V:Port. I settle in to 3A, which is looking very ragged - the edges of the covering on the footstool is very worn, and there are big chips of many of the raw edges of the plasticky suite walls.

The flight passes quickly and quietly with a mix of work and V:Port. They have only one episode of The Thick of It, which I didn't catch on TV when it was shown. Come on, this is V:Port - why not have the whole series! The one epsiode gives me a taste for other tv (don't fancy the movies on offer) so I watch three episodes of State of Play, which I loved. I fear if I get V:Port on Friday, I may watch the rest ('Sorry' I will say to Mrs csparker when I get home 'didn't get a wink of sleep.').

I pass on the initial food service (11.30 is a little early for lunch), but they put aside a soup and chicken tikka for me. They weren't too bad at all - rice was a bit on the crunchy side, but not unpleasant. Afternoon tea was ace - I skipped the sandwiches, but the eccles cake, millionaires shortbread and scone were again yum.

No delays getting onto the ground and I join the race to the immigration hall. Not too long to wait, then it all goes wrong. My right fingerprint won't scan properly so I am directed for 'secondary' screening. This involves sitting in a pretty scuzzy waiting room felling a little nervous, watching my passport and waiver form being ignored in a rack. Whathave they got on me - did I pick up a speeding ticket in Fl, and am now on a 'most wanted' list? What have the kids sneaked into my bag? About an hour passes before I am taken back to the now empty immigration hall. We go back to the same desk (the hall is now empty), where the same agent tries again. The same agonising wait, and eventually I'm allowed in. I know what Alex Ferguson means when he refers to squeaky bum time.

Thoughts on what happened:
- My index finger can be a little scarred due to double bass playing in a past life and eczema
- The scanner was a little defective
- They do a comparison between my previous entry, which was into MCO - perhaps they have different kit there
- The MCO scan was bad and they let me in anyway.
- My bad prints require a more detailed analysis that the immigration officer wasn't prepared to wait for.

I guess I will know more next time I try to get in...

My bags are looking lonely on the carousel and I breeze through the rest of the airport. The limo desk guy asks what happened to me - he's been hanging round for an hour. I'm soon in the car with a very nice lady driver who gives me her card at the end of the journey.

In conclusion - a cracking flight, a scary wait to get into the country and next time I fly, I will do the following:
- Book the pickup about two hours early so I can really do justice to the CH
- Hope that State of Play and more of The Thick Of It are on V:Port
- Moisturise

A great read Chris!

Your scaring me with the Immigration tales though! I always have issues scanning the finger on my left hand and i got threatened with SSSS if i couldnt get it to read when i flew into SFO once. I pressed that finger into the pad so hard like nobody's business! LOL

Have a good stay Stateside, and hope your return is equally as good!

Thanks,
Sarah

Excellent report, Chris. Thanks for posting and of course, glad you made it through our 'scary' Customs inquisition!

Chuck-

So how long were you in the Clubhouse in the end?

Thanks for the great trip report.

EC

Edna, I arrived in the CH about 7.25, and left about 8.50. Only long enough for breakfast and a haircut. Which reminds me, I need to change my pick up time for tomorrow's return flight.

I watched State of Play on my way to NRT and could not wait to get on the plane to watch the remainding episodes. Fingers crossed for VPort on the way home as it really is cracking. How come I missed it on TV I wonder
[?][?]

Nice TR Chris!
So far (touches wood) never had issues with security/immigration

Chris

Thanks for the TR[y][y]

Your Immigration Hall experience is a reminder to one and all that these procedures should be treat with the utmost respect.

I always enjoy a TR from you [y]

Enjoyed the TR. Thanks [y]

In truth, the immigration thing wasn't particularly scary - just concerning that what was likely to be some kind of hardware or software issue (or that I have freaky fingers) could cause me problems. I have to travel to the US for work, and a denied entry would not look good.

Perhaps I should get a visa - do they still print you if you have a visa?

I believe you would still be scanned - I'll check as a mate of mine works from time to time in the USA (and has some form of B visa I think)

Thanks for the report,don't like the sound of the little room brings up images of rubber gloves[:0][:D]

Originally posted by HighFlyer
A great read Chris!

Your scaring me with the Immigration tales though! I always have issues scanning the finger on my left hand and i got threatened with SSSS if i couldnt get it to read when i flew into SFO once. I pressed that finger into the pad so hard like nobody's business! LOL

I dont think it needs pressing hard as here is just a scanner underneath a bit like a pc scanner I believe.

We had similar problems in Miami and the guy had to bring some solution to clean it before it would work - But you are right - it just gets you thinking as to what they have on you! Is there some other Mark J who has committed heinous offences and you are being mistaken for him - or whatever!! And can you imaging the absolute pain in the backside of being turned back and having to board the aircraft you just got off to come back to blighty to sort it all out - what a complete clusterthingy that would be![:#]

Originally posted by csparker
In truth, the immigration thing wasn't particularly scary - just concerning that what was likely to be some kind of hardware or software issue (or that I have freaky fingers) could cause me problems. I have to travel to the US for work, and a denied entry would not look good.

Perhaps I should get a visa - do they still print you if you have a visa?

They do still print you, everyone has to do it regardless of status.

Agree that, however irritating and distrustful of us these immigration procedures are, they have to be taken seriously. I read an interview with the actor Roy Marsden this week in which he mentioned being refused entry and turned back, because his ticket was provided for him in his stage name, but his real name as on his passport is different!

Great TR![:D]

You certainly wet my appetite for some more UCS[y] Haven't flown UC for about half a year now - been in PE.

My mum normally has trouble scanning her one of her fingers - she also has dry skin. Maybe that's the problem[:?]

Cheers,
VS045

The immigration officer on our last trip recommended wiping my finger over my facial T-Zone to pick up some grease... seemed to work [;)].

Originally posted by Decker
The immigration officer on our last trip recommended wiping my finger over my facial T-Zone to pick up some grease... seemed to work [;)]

Yeah, I've been advised that one before too - funnily enough, it's usually when I've had a lot to drink [:I][:I]

Cheers

Michael

Originally posted by csparker
In truth, the immigration thing wasn't particularly scary - just concerning that what was likely to be some kind of hardware or software issue (or that I have freaky fingers) could cause me problems. I have to travel to the US for work, and a denied entry would not look good.

Perhaps I should get a visa - do they still print you if you have a visa?

Yes they do [:D]

I do the T-zone thing every time. Obviously was too well cleansed then (like heck).