VS001 LHR-EWR 4 Jun 09 (Upper)
Posted: 05 Jun 2009, 16:54This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
Turning up at the UC check I joined the queue of one couple and was slightly miffed when a skycap and client formed their own queue. This is a problem that would easily have been mitigated by the judicious use of tensa barriers but they seem to have gone the same way as the red carpet. Fortunately in true British pub tradition the waiting staff clocked the order of arrival and called us appropriately. As I was to be flying PE I asked if I could have 18C and was mortified to hear that it had already gone. Never mind 18H it is then. (As this is being written in the lounge it'll be interesting to see who got it).
Up through the security channel and as ever I never bothered to remove the little bag of liquids/creams I carry in my laptop bag. As they never see it it seems a waste of time to bother. [:(]. Into Duty Free to snaffle some Toblerones for my friend's children and some Hendricks for my friend and then up to the Clubhouse.
Depositing the DF and coat with the cloakroom I made a beeline straight to the library and cruised for a free terminal. One of the terminals had a handwritten 'Reserved' note on it much to my surprise. Snaffling one a little further down I waited until the library was empty to check if the paper was VS stationery and it wasn't - rather the back contained some Slavic instructions for the use of a Canon EOS or similar. 'Bloody cheek' I thought and duly removed said sign. In all the time I was in the library nobody made an effort to use the terminal so such blatantly selfish behaviour remains doubly abhorrent.
As I played with the internet one of the salon peeps distributed cards in the library (like small A6 size) with a massive 25th Anniversary logo on the front. The accompanying text encouraged the female punter to relive the 80s with big hair dos with a more contemporary twist by visiting Bumble and Bumble. Oddly male mullets were not encouraged in the same way. Inside the card were four suggested styles with details of how to achieve them. I have to admit I didn't instantly recognise them from MY '80s and the implementation instructions seemed awfully heavy on B&B/GHD product placement but... the rear of the card suggested three make up schema to be realised using a range called 'Bare Escentuals' alongside a Nagel-esque line drawing of an Adam Ant-alike female. (If you weren't there in the '80s that last sentence will have contained so many null references (ooh geek out, an in programmer joke in the middle of an ageist set of references) as to be impenetrable).
Just as I planned to go to the bistro (Passing through the bistro it became apparent that a new brand of luxury breakfast cereal was being trialled) a friend called so I ditched the idea of eating and chatted to her for a while about (amongst other things) the best way of upgrading her husband and self to Upper from a compulsory Y trip she had coming up. All the talk of upgrading, and the lack of a full new Summer Menu posting, made me ponder and manfully I took one for the team and requested a miles upgrade which the concierge quickly issued (so you now all owe me 20,000 miles OK?). Taking the additional 15 proved a little more difficult as she was passed from pillar to post within the Virgin organisation in an attempt to have the money taken... 'but why did X tell me to call you then?'... 'But the people in Y told me to talk to you - can't you just take the money - we're running out of time here'. Her calm unflustered manner made light of the presumed angst she was experiencing.
As I walked away from the desk a 15 minute delay to the VS1 was announced due to the late arrival of the earlier plane. As I knew I would be driving in Newark I resisted the temptation to drink anything and opted instead for a piece of shortbread from the sweetie stand. One final check of email and then the boarding announcement was made. I don't know if they'd been reading the advice on V-Flyer to stay put until the second announcement but the mellifluous tones of the announcer enjoined the EWR bound hordes to 'please leave now was gate 21 is a 15 minute walk away'. Naively believing this I collected my belongings and started my yomp to the gate. As I approached the end of the first travelator by way was blocked by four BAA employees in hi-viz jackets who stood chatting on the travelator two abreast blocking the way forward. Unable to scoot around them onto the next travelator I opted for a power walk for the next section and turned the corner and started to walk towards gate 21. Very shortly I hit the tailback from hell as coach passengers queued all the way back along the corridor. I'd estimate this as a 5 minute walk for a fit person so a second clubhouse drink should still be possible for those imbibing. Ignoring the queue I walked to the front of the queue where, miracle of miracles, there was a clearly marked manned priority boarding lane. There were even signs directing coach to one side of the next checking desk and priority boarders to the other. The priority boarding lane worked perfectly, this second stage less so as the world and his wife just headed for the nearest desk - the prioity one - leaving the normal desk empty and having to call people over. One fellow UC pax pushed past the mob and used the non-priority desk where he was seen immediately - an amusing reversal.
Straight through the gate lounge and onto a single airbridge backed up to the start... oh well. The idea of boarding UC last looks increasingly attractive! Eventually reached the door and was welcomed on board BY NAME - more miracles - what was going on here? I was politely directed to my seat only to find that one person had somehow managed to spread his worldly goods through two overheads. A little rearrangement and my bag and duty free was stowed. My coat was taken and put away and usual drinks offered. Opting for a sparkling water (yes honestly) I had my Airborne and aspirin.
The Captain came on the intercom and announced a 15 minute delay at the gate. This actually ran a bit longer eventually resulting in a 16:20 pushback. The FSM took advantage of the delay to make his announcements with some 'humour' injected. Apparently this flight has three additional Supervisors on board, two of them are assigned to cabins so the third had been assigned to the kitchen. Two women opposite me looked at each other vaguely incredulously. We were then treated to a varying menu of music until finally the instructions were given to secure the cabin and ensure there was nobody left in the wsshrooms. A few minutes later a frantic tapping on one of the lavatory doors could be heard as one of the crew attempted to encourage someone who was still in the toilet to vacate - well not like that (pushhhh, pushhhh) but...
Toilets secured we awaited take off, whilst during the safety video someone in about 8K stood up and tried to use the bathroom. He seemed bemused by the fact that it was locked but then looking up and seeing the 'occupied' light inspiration struck. He eagerly began scanning the other toilet lights to look for a vacant one. Not finding one he looked slightly crestfallen and returned to his seat. The irony of a crew member escorting a frail older female pax to the locked toilet 5 minutes later was not lost on me.
The FSM chipped in again apologising for interrupting our enjoyment of the 80's greatest hits we'd been listening to but explained that we were about to take off so could flight crew ensure all was in order. Shortly thereafter at around 16:43 we left the ground and made a leisurely climb on a heading I didn't recognise over a sports stadium that looked a bit like an aberrant Yin/Yang symbol. Once the seat belt signs were off service commenced and I partook of a T10 and lime with some of the gorgeous rice crackers I so enjoy.
Taking out my laptop I plugged in my iGO and was disappointed to find no power - never mind I can work on battery until it comes on - and started to write this report. This situation couldn't obtain long as I get a maximum of an hour out of the non travel battery on the Vaio. I mentioned the lack of power to my SCC who acknowledged my request courteously. Whilst typing this report the power became worryingly low but at 1'20' as my dinner order was being taken I pointed out the lack of green LED and my SCC rushed off to rectify the situation. As she headed back to explain that it would be sorted in a minute my machine chose hari kari and hibernated. Seconds later the green LED illuminated so I plugged in and turned on... after a few minutes of use the machine just died. So I unplugged, replugged and tried again. The machine started to boot then died. I retried a couple of times until I realised that the reboot had reset my 'In flight' mode to normal mode and the current draw was too great for the socket. Frustrated I left the laptop to charge so that I could eventually boot it from battery and reset to in flight mode and awaited my dinner.
I have to say that it was one of the tastiest VS meals I've had in a while. I reproduce the menu below with my choice *'ed. The salmon was shredded and the spelt provided an interesting textural counterpoint to the fishy oiliness of the salmon. The chicken was encrusted with a mustard dressing of some kind that leant a piquancy to the dish,
The menu identifies as being for the VS001/9 S_09
DINNERS
Starters
* Seasonal leaf salad with smoked salmon, spelt and balsamic dressing
Pea, mint and fennel soup with a choice of warm breads
Main Courses
* Chicken breast on pea and broad bean broth with new potatoes
Steak and mushroom pie with champ potatoes and sauted Savoy cabbage
Creamy asparagus risotto with parmesan cheese
*Cheese
Oxford blue
Tasty Lancashire
Cornish Brie
Dessert
Baked Sussex honey cheesecake with fruit compote
Strawberry and cream roulade with wild berry coulis
AFTERNOON TEA
Selection of bloomer sandwiches - smoked ham and English mustard, coronation chicken and *cheddar and gooseberry chutney
Classic sultana scone with Tiptree jam and clotted cream
Victoria sponge cake
Usual bar drinks with special guest at the bar
Red Hot Royale
a refreshing long summer drink made with Bombay Sapphire, lemonade and cranberry juice finished with a squeeze of lime.
As my machine was unusable I started to watch the Watchmen. Regretfully I never finished but I did get to spend a little time at the bar chatting to another FA. Whilst there I tried the 'Red Hot Royale' - amusingly they'd run out of lime juice - and the cheese butty, slightly stale already but tasty.
Sooner than expected we were given a 45 minute warning and I returned to my seat to repack. No major distractions followed and after a normal landing and a normal (long) taxi we disembarked from L1. Disappointingly coats were not distributed and as the wardrobes were at R2 this caused quite a bit of jostling as people moved back to get their coats whilst others oblivious blocked the aisles repacking themselves.
Once in the terminal I ignored the escalators in favour of the stairs and was consequently at the front of an empty immigration hall. Just as a heads up - the signs leading into the immigration hall still tell you that the procedure is index finger on both hands (complete with diagrams) whilst it is actually 4 fingers on right hand. Questions were perfunctory and moderately surly (but relatively content neutral - if I had to speculate I'd say he was jealous of the amount of vacation time Europeans get) and within 45 minutes of landing I was in my hire car and off to NJ. Avis did me proud here - a 3 day rental for 52 with a drop off in New York not EWR and they upgraded me from the smallest car I could book on the internet - category A (an old ploy - airports hardly ever have anything smaller than a category C car) - to a large Dodge SUV.
All in all another top VS flight.