V-Flyer

When I last wrote a TR for these boards, I concluded by stating that myself and the GF hoped that all future trips on VS would be in W or J. Fast forward a year and two weeks, the credit crunch has hit and I find myself sat in Y on Scarlet Lady as we head across the Atlantic MIA bound.

Preparations in the willd household, for our annual trip to the Sunshine State, to visit my parents, were due to start about a week from departure, with a gradual packing proccess and collection of supplies requested by Mother. However things did not quite go to plan. Firstly, the GF announced that she had been drafted in by work to go to Wales on an activity camp with some pupils at her school. Secondly, I got snowed under at work, I am currently working in the corporate restructuring department of the law firm I am training at, clearly in this climate we are really busy, hence my lack of posting on V-F of late. As a result our preparations were somewhat last minute.

By the Tuesday before we left my supervising Partner was dropping some not so subtle hints that I would be required to cut short my holiday due to a large restructuring we were working on. Not really the news that you want to know 2 days before your due away for a month but it was half expected (and I have a couple of post qualification interviews for mid August so we knew we would be cutting the holiday short by a week already). A quick phone call to VH and the holiday was cut short to 12 days with instructions from Delhi that I was to pick up the new vouchers at the VH desk in Zone A.

Day before departure was the usual mad rush. Lunch break was spent checking in online, which as always worked a treat. A late afternoon email from the GF provided me with a list of shopping to pick up on my way home from Canary Wharf. Shopping done, we finally managed to get all our packing done by 10pm.

Thursday arrived and with the traffic on the M25 notoriously bad in the morning, we left home at 6.30am for the drive from Guildford around the M25 and the short sprint down the M4. By 7.20 we were safely ensconced inside the wonderful zone A at Terminal Three. Regular readers of these boards, will be aware that we normally fly from LGW. This was our first visit to the VS desks in T3 for about five years and anyone following us in would have realised this thanks to the ooooos and arrrrrs, more akin to an Epcot firework display, leaving our mouths. Very quickly we located the VH desk. The lady informed us that the courier had not left LGW with our tickets. Cue: Panic stricken look over GFs face. Not to worry the agent informs us, they will fax over our Dollar coupon. Cue: Panic stricken look over GFs face that in c.12 hours we would be sat with a computer says no staff member at Dollar. Ten minutes later the Dollar coupon photocopy was in hand and we headed over to the self check in kiosks.

Check in at the computerised kiosk was completed within five minutes and it was then off to the bag drop desks. A bit of the 'spot the best line' game took place and we selected a bag drop desk towards the PE desks. It soon became quite clear that VS has adopted the hard sale approach in these tough times. On three occasions we declined a PE upgrade of 350 per person one way. I am undecided on how I feel about this approach. Sure offering it at check in is fine but having a lady wondering around doing the hard sale is not the greatest move IMHO and tends to make the VS check in area rather like Guildford on a Saturday morning when the market is in town.

Bag drop was an experience. None of the usual formal greetings that one expects in any civilised society. Instead we were treated to a surly agent who only opened her mouth to bark have you left your bags unattended, fill these out even if you have done the ESTA, next bag on belt. I am sure you all get the picture. Bag drop was completed in about 3 minutes and we departed without any enjoy your flight or even goodbye. So its no surprise that check in receives a low rating. The worst check in experience I have ever had from a VS agent.

We proceeded upstairs to security which was dealt with in about 15 minutes. Still some people amaze me. I witnessed one guy pulling out razors from his hand luggage and not understanding why he was being told off. The GF was ordered to place her shoes through the scanner but apart from that this was your regular security screening. Having not purchased CH access through VH we decided to head over to Chez Gerard for breakfast. To be fair it was not as dire as I had feared. The service was efficient and the food very edible. This left us with about an hour to find a seat and read. We ended up camping around by the Dunhill and Smythson shops outside Chez Gerard rather than in the main sitting area.

9.20am came around and Gate 42 sprung up on the boards next to VS005 Miami. A groan was let out as I realised this meant a hike more akin to the Duke of Edinburgh award scheme than a leisurely stroll down to an aircraft gate. To be fair the hike was not as bad as I had feared. I reckon that for it to take the 20 minutes BAA estimate, you have to be one very slow walker. We arrived at the gate to learn the inbound flight was late so boarding had been pushed back by about 20 minutes. This just goes to prove that it is not only the LGW flights that suffer delays.

It was not long before boarding had started and we made our way down onto Scarlet Lady. The usual pre boarding processes took place. The captain was on to inform us that they were slightly behind with fuelling and so as a result he feared we would experience ATC delays. It was during this time that the FSM started making her way around the Y cabin assisting the crew in their preparations for departure. I was fairly impressed by this as quite often the FSM seems to just spend their times in the J/W cabins.

At about 10.15 the captain was on to inform us that we were ready to go but ATC were holding us on stand until about 10.35. At exactly 10.35 we pushed back from Gate 42 and started the taxi to the runway. We cruised passed the impressive looking SQ A380 and then sat in a queue of about nine aircraft. At 11.07 we pulled onto the runway and began our take off role. It has been a number of years since I have flown on an Airbus 340 and I was very impressed by the lack of noise in the cabin. With 305 passengers on board we used the full length of the runway and lifted off over the m25.

Prior to the 10,000 feet being reached, I watched as the lady behind me sprung from her seat, with toddler in tow, and sprinted towards the bathroom. The young girl could be heard saying Mom its coming, I cant stop it. As any decent well trained cabin crew member would do, they were out of their seats to shout at the Mum to get back into her seat. In a scene more akin to a Carry On movie, it became rather apparent to the crew member that he was much safer (seeing as we had been in the air for well over 12 mins and the only reason why the seatbelt signs were not off was due to the departure pattern at LHR keeping us below 10,000 feet) letting them use the bathroom than having a rather unpleasant odour lingering in the cabin for the next 9 hours. Sighs of relief were heard all around, as my fellow passengers and I realised that we would not be arriving in MIA smelling of a rather unpleasant odour. To the crew members credit he remained out of his seat and supervised the process. Of course this begs the question, why on earth would you allow your potty training young one on to a plane without wearing Pampers or whatever brand is the families choice. I for one know that if I believe my child cant hold it in for about an hour then they will be in Pampers. A nine-hour trip across the pond is not the place to attempt toilet training! Anyway I have digressed and do not wish this to be a child bashing TR- after all as the flight went on, the young girl (and her brother) turned out to be a prime example of how children should behave on a flight and to the credit of their Mother and Father no bribes were needed (unlike when I used to fly TATL in my younger days).

As soon as 10,000 metres was reached the crew were released from their seats and the usual cabin announcements were made. The bar service was started shortly after and I opted for a water and coke. The pretzels were notable in their absence.

V:port was not fired up until 45 minutes into the flight, which was rather poor, especially as the flight was smooth and the Y crew seemed very capable in their jobs. It was noticeable that the a number of children were getting restless without a movie to watch. I went straight onto trivia and won two rounds beating off the guy sat in 3A (a shame that trivia does not include any sports questions though).

As we left Ireland behind, lunch was served. The GF is intolerant to any dairy, so this year I rung VS to advice them of this (after last years fiasco). Along with Turkey Twizelers for the kids, the GFs Vegan meal arrived. It was below ok (except the main meal), we still are unsure exactly what the main course was. The meal service for the rest of the cabin was served about 20minutes later. Usual options (Chicken, beef, veg) and an announcement made by the CSS informing us that VS offer more meal choices than other rival airlines. I had the Chicken which was in a creamy leak sauce. To be fair, I thought it was one of the best meals I have had in Y on any airline. I was rather releaved as normally I have relied on the crackers and cheese when the meal was dire, which of course is no longer present. There was a reasonably spicy pasta salad and a chocolate/raspberry confit GU pot for afters. Washed down with a nice cool Heineken (IMHO only marginally better than the other option which was Stella).

Then settled down to watch Changling which was reasonable. The iMap function took ages to load and was not very responsive. I noticed a couple of people had to have a V:Port re-set for their sins.

Quick trip to the toilets exposed a little annoyance with the VS 346 layout. 4 loos for a packed Y cabin is not enough. As much as it is going to annoy some readers on these boards, the PE loos should be shared with Y passengers. The wait for the loos was ridiculous during the whole flight. Now either everyone was drinking a lot more than your average passenger or there is a lack of facilties! This of course creates the unfair situation of the seatbelt sign being put on to clear the cabin. Understandable from a crew POV but not great if your bursting and have just got to the front of the queue after a 15 min wait. A couple of times announcements were made apologising for the long lines for the bathrooms. I also do find it annoying when the seat belt sign comes on under the disguise of possible CAT in the area. 1) this can cause alarm to nervous passengers 2) whilst I understand CAT, when you hear crew members commenting on how great it is that the belts sign is on to clear the cabin it makes one less inclined to rush back to get belted in the next time CAT is reported.

Ice Cream was served about half way across the Atlantic. This was followed by about an hour and a half of dimmed cabin lights.

One great feature for a Y passenger is the water fountains (no they aren't water coolers, as the water was nowhere near cool more luke warm on some occasions)! I found that I drank a lot more water due to not having to feel guilty by disturbing the crew when they were down the back in the galley. As a result of the water fountain's presence no water/OJ runs were done.

Then the fun and games began as we approached some rather genuine rough weather. Seat belt sign came on as Afternoon Tea was being served. The cynic in me immediately thought this was due to the crew wanting the cabin cleared for their ease. Of course it wasnt on this occasion, for about the next hour and twenty we were strapped in as we firstly encountered high winds and then went face to face with a thunder storm somewhere between Bermuda and the Bahamas. To be fair to the passengers I saw no one getting up for a quick nip to the loo and the crew were good at keeping passengers informed.

As we passed through the rough air, we were then treated to some great views of the Bahamas (which rather worryingly the pilot informed us was Bermuda!). Quick trip to the bathrooms and the cabin was made secure. Again the FSM was evident helping her crew down the back. Captain was on to inform us we would be flying over MIA to the north before turning and landing on the South-Easterly runway. About 10 minutes later he was back on to inform us we would now be flying over MIA to the South and landing on the Easterly runway.

All belted in, we flew through a typical Florida afternoon shower, with some nice views of downtown MIA and the edge of the Everglades. Bing bong and the crew were in their seats and we cruised down into a slightly drizzly and rather dark MIA, wheels hitting the runway hard at 3.11pm local. Pilot on again to welcome us to MIA and the FSM did her usual bit. As we taxied in past the South-Easterly runway it was quite clear why we had changed approach, that half of the airport was pitch black due to a storm and I would say visibility was down to about 50 meters. Was most bizarre how the other half of the airport was not affected.

Quickly we were on gate at an empty Terminal E. Doors opened and we attempted a quick sprint to immigration. Of course I was never going to beat last years record of being first at immigration (I was sat in Y) but I was at least expecting to be amongst the first non J passengers into immigration. Sadly my 'sprint' was more akin to an 80 year olds weekly shop around Sainsbury's, as any attempt to 'sprint' at MIA is made impossible (unless youre the first off, even the slower J passenger will struggle) thanks to a narrow airbridge, from which you enter a bottle neck onto an even narrower escalator and then you are in the make shift immigration hall, which is located some 25 meters from the aircraft door.

I havent been to MIA for years but remember how horrid it is. Well it now appears that Terminal F immigration is no longer undertaken by Terminal E immigration. The authorities have converted what is clearly an old departure lounge (complete with boarded up snack stations and flight departure screens) into a make shift immigration area with a rather unattractive pink and purple 1980s dcor. Of course the only passengers were those arriving off the VS flight. VS agents were allowing connecting passengers to the front of the queue but the lack of overtaking opportunities on leaving the aircraft and being directed to the apparently only line for UK visitors (Hot Tip- VS agent will tell you the left hand line is for UK residents and right hand line (which is out of sight as you enter the room) is for US residents, this is not so as UK residents were allowed to use the US Line and there were no US Resident Only Signs up) meant we were well over 45 minutes in line before we got to see an immigration agent. Agent was friendly, rather quizzed over a couple of visas in my passport and told I need to marry the GF soon.

By 4.10pm we were making the hike (and this is a hike unlike the Gate 42 stroll at LHR!) to baggage reclaim and customs. Baggage reclaim is located in Terminal E, so we walked past the busy Terminal E immigration hall. Bags were all stacked to the side of the baggage belt, quickly located our bags and then we had to negotiate the crowds arriving off various Latin America flights. Zipped through customs and into arrivals, where you would be forgiven for thinking you had landed in Madrid rather than America. However after quickly enacting my ropy GCSE Spanish to get people to move out of our way, we located the VH agent. She informed us to jump on the next Dollar bus.

With off airport location, we waited for the next Dollar bus along with all the other VH customers off our flight. Bus arrived and we witnessed the Brit Abroad attitude at its best. It goes something like this:
- Dollar bus is seen coming down the road,
- Young kid in a Man Utd shirt (with Ronaldo on the back, how ironic) tells everyone in the terminal the bus is coming
- Bus pulls up
- Elbows out
- Bus doors open
- elbows stuck into side of equally fat sweating Brit
- swearing heard from everyone
- fake Luis Vuiton bags being swung around...
The picture is complete with a poor looking Dollar Shuttle driver stood attempting to help passengers and all made worse by taking place in about 190% humidity!

The GF and I decided to stand back, wait for the next shuttle and watch the Brit Abroad show take place. Next bus pulled up within a minute (as always). We boarded the second bus with a family from Luton who were nice enough but sat there complaining to us about the lack of a VH rep. Clearly a bright red uniform and huge VH red clipboard stood in the, security pass restricted, customs exit is not enough!

10 minutes later and we arrived at Dollar. To cut a long story short it was another hour before an agent saw us. The service was so incredibly slow and we of course were treated to another episode of Brit Abroad. We didnt complain, others did and very loudly when one Brit jumped the line (by pretending he had booked at dollar.com). Agent seemed to be confused by VH pricing as he attempted to get us to pay for an additional under 25 driver despite being on platinum insurance. We soon sorted it out. We went outside to pick up the most basic of basic cars, a Dodge Caliber with no cruise control, no automatic windows, no parcel shelf, no wingmirror adjuster (other than hands). You get the picture.

Quick drive round to the Intercontinental West Miami and we were in our room by 6.30pm. From landing to getting to our hotel room had taken 3 hours and 20 minutes. Not the best really but to be fair most of the delay was caused by Dollars lack of efficiency and their penchant for ridiculous amounts of paperwork. The IC was very nice, exactly what we needed after a long flight and would recommend it for any overnight at the airport. We were very glad we were not attempting to get up to my parents or even say to a Jupiter Beach hotel.

Sorry for the length of this report, I wanted to give you a real flavour of it. All in all, check in was disappointing. It is not good enough (whatever class you are flying) to have a member of frontline staff who does not talk to you. The flight was good, the crew were happy and approachable. None of the usual anti-kids/MCO/Florida chat was heard from any of our crew. Dollar rent a car experience was bad.

So would we fly into MIA again? Its a tough call. We enjoyed V:Port (although it is over hyped, IMHO its not that much greater than the old Vauxhall on the LGW planes, after all I struggled to find something I wanted to watch), service ex LHR from a cabin crew POV seems to be a lot better, we preferred the 346 as well as we could sit together on our own. Downside of the MIA flight is that LHR is just as bad as LGW in terms of an airport, MIA immigration was not as nice as MCO and the airport is nowhere near as user friendly and finally no car hire companies are on airport. So really its a draw between MCO and MIA. We would use MIA again for the inbound, as we do not mind the drive the following morning up the Turnpike to Yeehaw Junction.

As a side, you will all be pleased to know that next morning we ditched our god awful Caliber. We got onto the Turnpike to find that as soon as we got to about 50mph the steering wheel shook violently. I was not about to drive all the way up the Turnpike with a dodgy steering wheel. So we stopped at Dollar at FLL airport, where we were seen very efficiently and our car was swapped for a Sebring with all the goodies one expects on an American car. So maybe I was a bit hasty in my Dollar bashing.

Thanks Will for the TR! It's been a long time hearing from you.[y]

Shame about MIA and I just cringe when you hear an obnoxious 'Brit Abroad'.

Very Interesting TR, as you say there is no excuse for poor service wherever you are sitting . Have a great holiday.

An excellent read, thank you.

I've always had a soft spot for the Sebring convertible since our first trip to LA when we were upgraded for free to a brand new top of the range job...

Paul

Top quality TR Will, thanks. Loved your description of the Brit abroad, accurate yet equally embarrassing.

Thanks,
Neil

I enjoyed reading that! Very amusing.

Great TR, very enjoyable read!

Gives me very vivid flash-backs to my horrid VS flight out to Miami from LHR... *shudders*

Excellent TR Will, shame about having to cut short the holiday, but then again I suppose the GF does need to back to school[}:)]

Only joking mate. have a great vacation

Iain

It's school holidays though.[:D]

quote:Originally posted by iforres1
Excellent TR Will, shame about having to cut short the holiday, but then again I suppose the GF does need to back to school[}:)]

Only joking mate. have a great vacation

Iain

Good TR. I hate MIA but sometimes it's the only option.

Miopyk[8D]

Great TR. [:D]

Have you ever thought about Avis Prefered? You are guaranteed your keys in 3 mins and I have never waited longer than that and I rent at least five times a year in the US. I swapped to them after waiting once for almost two hours at MCO and was ready to kill for a car[}:)]

Hope you snd your GF have a great time in Florida...you're not missing anything exciting in Guildford[:w]

Sunshine[8D]

Thanks - a very good, detailed and interesting TR. What a lot to cope with ... and Miami Airport too [:0].

I do agree about the loos, i.e. there aren't enough on VS planes but I don't agree about the PE loos comment ... and why it takes 45 mins from take off to start VPort is beyond me. This is one thing a good FSM should do quickly and is such a crowd pleaser ...

Thanks for the comments guys, to answer a couple of comments.

Sunshine- we used VH/Dollar as they allow under 25's to hire cars easily though the platinum insurance. However this was the last year we will both be under 25's so would imagine we will change car hire company ASAP.

Slinky- I only said the PE loos should be changed to Y/PE on the basis that VS would not wish to install more loos. If they wanted to install more loos and keep the W only loos then I would be more than happy. Perhaps a half way house would be to have one of the current W loos as a Y loo. Not sure how this would work in practice. I do appreciate that the PE only loos are a USP of PE though!

iforres- you cheeky so and so!


Was going to hold back on the return TR as am currently having a bit of a 'debate' with VH over something and wanted to post my TR when the debate was resolved. However having recieved a bog standard 'we will deal with your request in the next 28 days', I will produce the next installment over the weekend.

Thanks for such an informative and incisive TR[y][y]

The bag drop experience is something I would not wish to encounter, as it can put such a damper on the flight.

I enjoyed your 'Brits Abroad' vignette - no wonder we have such a reputation in the States and i am sure this leads to receiving lower service levels as we are all stereotyped as being moany, non-tippers out for ourselves[:(!] And they call LGW Flights 'Bucket & Spade'[:0]

Thanks once again - can't wait to read your Return TR

buns

Thanks for this report, I love the detail!