V-Flyer

It goes without saying that no trip for me starts without some mini-drama, some good and some not so good and this was no exception. Roll back to January 2008 when just as I was about to start a trip to Munich my chimney developed a leak which took 18 months to resolve. I needed to have remedial work done in the sitting room but although I had contacted a builder the thought of the disruption was too much and I put it on to the long finger. Fast forward to June 19th when I was due to take the late Aer Lingus flight to LHR to connect the following day to VS19. That morning, by chance I met the said builder who, on learning of my immediate departure for the next two weeks, changed his work plans and said he would start on the Monday! Result! Except that I no longer had a leisurely day finishing my packing. Instead I had to rush around the place like a whirling dervish removing ornaments, pictures etc., ready for his appearance. Nonetheless it was an ebullient honey lamb who sallied forth to her friends’ house. They were to keep my car in their drive and take me to the airport. So after a nice cup of tea and a snack we loaded up their car ready to head off when another mini-mini drama ensued. The farmer whose cattle were in the field next to their home decided at that precise moment to bring them home for milking so we had to wait until a 100+ head of cattle trudged past. Anyone who knows cows knows they cannot be hurried! Fortunately I pad my itinerary in the same way that Ryanair pads its timetables to ensure an on-time, nay early arrival. Equally fortunately I do not herald my arrival with trumpets!

I had scored SEQ1 on this flight in spite of all the chaos and all that was required was to collect my boarding pass and check my cases. That done it was G&T o’clock!! The plane arrived on time, departed on time (which was cause for another G&T) and 55 minutes later I was deposited in T1 in LHR. My bags came out almost immediately and at 9:50pm I was at the Hoppa bus stop ready to head for the Sheraton Heathrow which I had secured on Priceline for the princely sum of $50. The timetable showed a bus due at 9:57pm but as time progressed it was obviously a work of fiction! The bus showed up at 10:28pm (the time of the next scheduled bus) and as a result between the stop at T1 and later at T3 it was a most unpleasant trip and 65 minutes after my arrival in LHR I checked into my hotel. Oh, and I arrived in the bar at 11:01pm to be told it was closed for food and I had to call room service. All of a sudden I wasn’t hungry!

That night I didn’t sleep very well and was up bright and early. I had requested an early morning call but didn’t come. No matter! I didn’t need it but about 15 minutes later there was a knock on the door with the said call! I was soon washed and brushed-up and eager for my trip and with a Hoppa bus arriving almost immediately, was on my way to LHR and the arms of VS

Ah yes! I somehow knew the minute I arrived in T3 I was going to be cossetted. Zone A was buzzing! Economy and Premium Economy were busy and even the Upper Class check-in was busy. However I was quickly dealt with by as nice a check-in lady as you could wish and was soon on my way to the security channel. It was delightfully empty. There were signs about the possibility of requesting shoes to be screened and I asked the security guy if he needed mine and he countered with “No, they wouldn’t fit me”. “Well”, sez I, “They wouldn’t go with your uniform”

On to the Clubhouse. I had arrived at T3 at 7:55am and precisely six minutes later I was being admitted into its portals having given details of crispin who was to be my guest. My first mission was to head to the spa to book a treatment. I had discovered on the VS website that they were offering a treatment worth £21 for free for Gold members, so not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I requested same although the receptionist was wanting to show me the new list. She was unsure whether it was still available and went off to check while I puffed myself out, ready to do battle! It was unnecessary and I was given an appointment for 8:30, just in nice time for me to have breakfast first. I headed to the Brasserie which was virtually empty and invited to sit anywhere. I did and promptly became invisible! The staff circulated round the three or four occupied tables but ignored me. No menu, no offers of food or drink - nothing. After several minutes, in high dudgeon I got up and requested a menu. In fairness I then realised I really was almost invisible from the entrance as my table was obscured by those trees dotted round the area. It still didn’t excuse no-one seeing me as they circulated though. I really couldn’t fault the service after that and breakfast was delicious. Well I was hungry - after all, if you recall I had foregone food in the hotel after my arrival there.

Nicely replete I returned to the spa in eager anticipation for my treatment. It was not one of the usual Cowshed treatments but an MD Formulations Peel & Polish Facial treatment. It was lovely to the extent that I would happily pay for it and certainly worth more than the £21 I would have had to have paid if it had not been on offer. I couldn’t stop stroking my face. Feeling absolutely gorgeous I made my way to the glassed in area behind the bar to await crispin’s arrival. Obeying orders to drink plenty of water, I was soon in possession of same but somehow a glass of champagne accompanied it! I wonder how that happened?

crispin arrived shortly afterwards and joined me and a very nice young man he is too. I was delighted to have been able to offer him an invite into the Clubhouse. I was also relieved, as during my treatment I realised he didn’t know my surname and hoped that the note that had been taken at the door would be sufficient - it was! He ordered breakfast and then champagne and later on a refill for the two of us was deemed necessary. The staff thought otherwise as it took ages to get some service even though we were in sight of the bar at all times. That however was the only glitch in service as a third and even a fourth was produced with maximum speed. The latter had only just been served when the call came for boarding but obeying the perceived wisdom from V-Flyer of the correct time to leave the Clubhouse we waited till the second call before proceeding to Gate 19 where G-VWOW was waiting for us. It was like meeting an old friend as she had taken me and my family to JNB in March

On our way down to the gate we were urged to hurry on as they wanted to close the doors of the corridor to allow passengers to leave a plane. Sure enough as we passed by they were standing there, their faces pressed against the glass doors waiting to be released. Fortunately crispin and I were one of the last few past before the security guy morphed into the angel with the fiery sword at the gates of Eden and denied further access ( although one can hardly call the corridors of terminal 3 Eden - an Upper Class cabin maybe but definitely not T3). It was a hollow victory as the doors were also closed at gate 17 and we had to wait until a plane-load of passengers crossed the corridor - and we were talking about a wide-bodied plane. It seemed to take forever and I had visions of our bags being off-loaded even though my watch told me there was still 30 minutes to the scheduled take-off time. Of course while we were waiting the “Last and Final Call” for VS19 came out which normally would have had me chewing my finger nails but at this stage I am so used to at least three or four such calls in T1 while awaiting my flights that I refused to worry but instead spent my energy in weaving my way forward as much as one could with so much packed humanity. Fortunately a few minutes later everyone was de-planed and the doors were opened. The crowd surged forward. I was afraid of people being trampled or some other such mayhem but thankfully many of them peeled off from the group at gate 18 which relieved the congestion. And so to gate 19

Last and final call? Ha! They were still admitting people to the gate area! Priority boarding was in effect insofar as they had three channels for UC, PE and Economy and here crispin and I parted company as we joined our respective channels. There was a small queue but no delay and soon I was in the gate area and on my way to board the plane - except that was where priority ended and we all joined the same queue in the jetway. In fairness it was not congested and I was amused by two elderly ladies who had entered the jetway behind me. They were of Maggie Thatcher’s generation and obviously believed in her maxim of the touch of the handbag as they fought their way to the head of the queue. Such niceties as purple boarding cards, gold members, premium economy meant nothing to them. They were going to get on that plane and no-one was going to stop them. Having forged their way to the head of the line, as soon as they were greeted at the door they suddenly became dear, sweet, helpless old ladies who had to be escorted to their seats by the male cabin crew at the door and if it is the cabin crew I think it was, I am not one bit surprised. I was still chuckling to myself as I was directed to my seat at 16K.

So there was I at seat 16K offloading all the stuff needed for a flight - book, glasses, iPod - putting up and taking down my carry-on, fussing and faffing around when the cabin crew assigned to our area fetched up beside me offering me champagne. I glanced at him and thought he looked familiar. He mentioned that he thought I had been on one of his flights and I looked at his name. A couple of pennies started to drop and I asked it it was the Newark flight. He assented and all of a sudden a shed-load of pennies started to drop. “Didn’t you give me champagne because of my bad Clubhouse experience?” He nodded. Omigod! Bells started to ring! I had hit the Las Vegas jackpot! Oh joy! Oh ecstasy! I had died and gone to heaven! I was gutted when I found out I was missing Tinkerbelle by a day last year but I soon reckoned I had scored the second best cabin crew in the fleet on that flight. And as if to establish his credentials (and he need not) he remembered that I liked a G&T with ice and lime. Yes folks, he was the guy who had searched the plane for a slice of lime for yours truly! Here I am two weeks later after my trip and I still go into paroxysms of delight about this flight!

Champagne was produced and a sleep suit and soon I was settled ready for the off. I’d like to criticise my suite but I was floating on a little cloud of ecstasy. I did however notice the infamous red marks on the suites. I wouldn’t have done so if it hadn’t been for V-Flyer and immediately recognised them as nail varnish! Red pen marks? Men! I could almost tell the brand of nail varnish!! Everything else was fine.

Push-back and take-off was more or less on time and soon we were soaring over Windsor Castle and no doubt deafening Her Majesty if she were at home which given it was a Sunday, she probably was. Sorry, Ma’am. As soon as the crew were released to their duties my hero sprang to action. I didn’t need to say what my drink request was; he had already remembered it but then it was decision time for the menu. I had already decided that the lamb was going to be my main course but neither of the starters grabbed me. I toyed with the idea of having a starter from the light bites section of the menu but he suggested that I take his soup option from the staff cart. I refused this - after all the staff work hard enough on a good flight without me encroaching into their rations. I decided to forgo a starter. A perfect G&T with lime was delivered followed by a second one. I should point out that the FSM was also very visible and helped with the service but I cannot remember whether it was the wine or bread service. How could I? I was being spoilt (along with the rest of the cabin) and as if to prove it he produced a bowl of the most delicious vegetable soup saying it had come from Economy. Now, darling, I know you mean well but I haven’t been on V-Flyer for the past six years without learning a thing or two and I have flown in Economy so I know soup isn’t served there. You have been rumbled! You took that from the staff cart didn’t you and while I thank you, you shouldn’t have. The lamb was delicious as always - nice and moist and tender and was washed down with a rather nice South African merlot. At that stage, worn out from the exertions of the previous day as well as a bad night’s sleep and the champagne, G&Ts and the wine I fell asleep. I don’t know how long I was asleep but when I awoke he was beside me almost immediately offering me something to eat and suggesting I have the cheese and port which I did.

After that I decided to convert the suite and try to sleep a bit more aware that I had a five hour layover in SFO but alas sleep evaded me and so I converted back and tried to watch a film. My book however beckoned and I was soon immersed in it. The cabin crew came by to chat to me for a while and I did a couple of trips down the back to visit crispin feeling a bit mean that I couldn’t extend the invitation to the Clubhouse further. I did consider asking the FSM if he could join me for a drink at the bar but I was having so much attention lavished on me that I felt I would be taking advantage. Sorry, crispin. Soon it was time for the second meal service. I chose the prawn mayonnaise sandwich which was delicious and awaited the cake stand with eager anticipation. It was so nice to have it back but I watched with amazement at the lady opposite me who loaded ten of the little cupcakes on to her plate. I wondered if there would be any left. There were but I was very conscious of others when choosing mine. I chose two and was prevailed upon to have more and since I was told there were plenty, had a third. He was right. There were plenty and the cakestand took its rightful place on the bar whence I snuck another! Actually, they were tiny - just about bite-size.

Shortly after the cabin was prepared for landing. I did not want this flight to end. It really was superb due in no mean part by the excellent cabin crew ably assisted by the FSM. To be fair all the cabin crew worked hard but I and all the passengers on the K side of zone A had the best of the best.

Gate A11 at SFO where Virgin Atlantic now parks is a much longer walk to Immigration and I spotted another wide-body coming in behind us so the race was on to see which passengers would get there first. At Immigration were the remnants of an earlier flight who were quickly processed. It was my first time coming through without the green I-94 visa waiver form and I was slightly apprehensive about it especially as I was the first one from the VS flight at that particular booth. I need not have worried. It was as smooth and easy a transition I could have wished for. The bags started to come through almost as soon as I arrived in the baggage hall with mine one of the first. From there it was a quick trot through Customs and thence on to transfer to my on-going flight and from the sublime to the (nearly) ridiculous!

honey lamb wrote: It was so nice to have it back but I watched with amazement at the lady opposite me who loaded ten of the little cupcakes on to her plate. I wondered if there would be any left.

That is so...ignorant or greedy, not sure which. I can still hear my mother's instruction - Family Hold Back (whether we were giving, or receiving, hospitality),

Thanks for the TR - that's twice in the past few hours, with ClassyBird's posting - that anticipation levels have increased dramatically hereabouts.

honey lamb wrote: Equally fortunately I do not herald my arrival with trumpets!

Of course not dear lady ! you waft along to some sublime musings from a string quartet nay quintet !

An excellent TR and you were royally looked after.

But on the cake lady. Ten is really not on. Had she no manners? it matters not that there were plenty she thought only of herself and I think the CC should have stopped this.

But that was the only blemish to what looked to be an excellent flight.!

Mr Mdvipond has a rival in TR writing !

HL

As always, a thoroughly riveting read

In fairness it was not congested and I was amused by two elderly ladies who had entered the jetway behind me. They were of Maggie Thatcher’s generation and obviously believed in her maxim of the touch of the handbag as they fought their way to the head of the queue. Such niceties as purple boarding cards, gold members, premium economy meant nothing to them. They were going to get on that plane and no-one was going to stop them. Having forged their way to the head of the line, as soon as they were greeted at the door they suddenly became dear, sweet, helpless old ladies who had to be escorted to their seats by the male cabin crew at the door and if it is the cabin crew I think it was, I am not one bit surprised.

Absolutely briiliant observation - same thing happens in my local Supermarket

Thanks

buns

A very enjoyable read HL, thank you

The story of the two more senior ladies on the jetway brought an unusually large smile to my face at this hour in a morning.

Neil

HL, thank you for a great TR, glad to hear you had a great flight.

buns wrote:

In fairness it was not congested and I was amused by two elderly ladies who had entered the jetway behind me. They were of Maggie Thatcher’s generation and obviously believed in her maxim of the touch of the handbag as they fought their way to the head of the queue. Such niceties as purple boarding cards, gold members, premium economy meant nothing to them. They were going to get on that plane and no-one was going to stop them. Having forged their way to the head of the line, as soon as they were greeted at the door they suddenly became dear, sweet, helpless old ladies who had to be escorted to their seats by the male cabin crew at the door and if it is the cabin crew I think it was, I am not one bit surprised.

Absolutely briiliant observation - same thing happens in my local Supermarket

Thanks

buns

Just the supermarket, try any queue, these little old parasites, who are deaf and senile until they get to the front and then they are sweet little old ladies.

Then they encounter me, who will politely not give up his queue position and then it's all "how rude", "no respect", "He should think of his elders". Sorry but I'm not being rude, respect is earned and not taken for granted and finally I do think of my elders as my grandparents taught me stand up to rudeness and to be polite.

Excellent trip report HoneyLamb, brings back memories of my recent trip. I did omit from my report the same problem you encountered with the staff at the clubhouse. We too had to wait ages for someone to appear to take our order for drinks. Infact one gentleman sitting nearby went off to look for somone. I think the staff must have been having a meeting or a tea break. After about 10 mins, 4 or 5 appeared at once!

Anna

What a delightful read and just how we wish every VS flight should be .

Just lovely
thanks
Iain

Great TR your flight was excellent and its good to see others enjoying what appears to be better service on the whole over the last period of time.

cheers

alex

Lovely report HL in response to a flight experience just as it should be .It really does a difference when a crew member goes the extra mile continually. Shame the heroes nominations are long gone .
DL

honey lamb wrote: I did however notice the infamous red marks on the suites. I wouldn’t have done so if it hadn’t been for V-Flyer and immediately recognised them as nail varnish! Red pen marks? Men! I could almost tell the brand of nail varnish!

Brilliant!

BRILLIANT

From start to finish an absolute triumph of a TR honey lamb, thank you.

a brilliant trip report. glad you enjoyed your flight.

Chris

Excellent read from an excellent flight - thanks so much for sharing your experiences HL; I love to read them.