VS003 LHR-JFK 23 AUG 12 (Upper Class)
Posted: 28 Aug 2012, 19:55This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
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Cabin Crew
Despite the negative reviews of late I decided to give the VS3 on the A333 another shot - . I travelled on the new UCS a few months back, but failed to post a TR for it
. The LHR-NYC run is a regular route for me and I am sure you would all get pretty tired of reading my missives, but will try to whenever I get time 
However lets get stuck in..Beginning this journey with a CDC that was a tad boring but again all part of that ‘upper’ service. After the driver caught me up on the various pax over the years who had forgotten passports and other random things that had to be taken home (or back to the train station
) I hoped for silence for fear of what would come next. How about a nice little chat about his kid’s braces, ok then.. he was just trying to be friendly.. 
Drive thru check in was a breeze, nice welcome at the doors and the case spirited away, now here begins the first hurdle - Apparently my seat is currently broken!!!! and there isn’t a spare. To prevent me hanging around the upper class wing, the check in agent recommended that I go through and they will catch up with me in the lounge. So, off I wandered, security channel was rather empty this time in the morning. Funny comment of the day was from a member of staff manning the metal detector, she had missed breakfast and refused to eat at work because the food in their canteen was like being fed rat poison!! Whether or not they had been fed food that tasted like rat poison or felt like there were rats in the staff canteen is still to be determined, however it still made me chuckle.
Walking passed the currency exchange, received my usual wave and went over to have a chat, funnily enough it is one of those little things that makes my trips go by so much easier. At this point I should probably mention I was intending to time how long it took from limo to lounge, but as you can no doubt guess I got sidetracked a couple of times..
Arrived at the CH to see a couple in front of me trying to blag their way in.... ha ha. Best of luck to them, around to the next podium and I was on my way through. They clearly paid their way or were successful with their blag as I saw them camping down at the bar later on..
Sat in the restaurant and was quickly served, with breakfast on its way I took the opportunity to catch up on some work. I wish every day would start like this..Breakfast arrived and a coffee refill welcomed, however unfortunately that was the only offer of a refill in this particular area...
... must be that damned tree again!Decided it was time to move on, swinging chair here I come. Another coffee ordered and I was content sitting looking out over the AA aircraft on stand, glimmering in the early morning sun, Bliss.. then came a call for me to visit the concierge desk, bad news I am afraid, my BRAND NEW UC seat refused to fold over into the bed mode
oh well, here is £50 worth of vouchers. .. What’s my duty free allowance again 
Enjoyed the rest of the time in the lounge and then boarding called, onto Gate 21..... Boarding took place through door B, greeted at the door by the FSM and pointed in the vague direction of my broken seat.. Not overly impressed by this FSM, but I am afraid to say I am rarely knocked away by some of the onboard staff these days
.. just unlucky I guess.. Was approached by a poor CC member holding a tray of drinks that was clearly too heavy for her, so I gladly relieved her of a few glasses 
Whilst a drink was offered that was pretty much it for the moment, no welcome aboard spiel, explanation of the seats, guess it is lucky this is not my first trip to the zoo, or I may very well have been bewildered at all the new buttons adorned with hieroglyphs..With champagne in hand I turned my attention to the suite... oh hello neighbour through the opaque window...Opaque eh?? How many fingers am I holding up Mr Ridgeway??
Dear lord they need to clean those things.. ever heard of a duster?? Will no doubt save the rant I could go on for the cleaning companies’ forum, which when I find, will fast be joining to comment on their ‘outstanding’ work!! Huh, this also appears to be the remains of someone’s snooze pack under the ottoman..
Seat appears to be reclining ok so good fortune there and yes these do recline further than their predecessors. So reclined, drinking champagne and enjoying the show of the other pax figuring out what does what (funniest was someone attempting to swipe his credit card on the JAM handset - will come onto that later) what could be better?
As a side note, several other people have commented on it too, but just adding my voice to the chorus.. these seats are barely 6 months old and already cracks are starting to appear, fabric is frayed at the edges and there are even tears in some of the leather seats. It is a terrible shame that they were not built to higher spec but i suppose people moving on the seats will cause damage.. think of that VS designers when you were on your glue high?? People may fidget!! I may lay into the designers at some points but to be fair the overall tone of the cabin is really quite good, it feels classy and at the same time calming, although I would prefer the purple leather on the seats as opposed to the brown.. personal preference though.
With the Mutley like sniggering of a gent two rows away we were off, takeoff was smooth and in no time at all we were swinging out towards Wales and over the Atlantic. Side tangent again, anyone here know a creepy animated cartoon called salad fingers?? Well if not do not google it, I accept no liability for scaring or creeping people out
There was a pax opposite me who was caressing near every line of the suite like salad fingers did to rusty things.. made me shudder..Menus were brought round by the FSM, who’s knack at communication was becoming apparent.. “Menu” is all that was said and not being sure if it was a question or a statement I just replied “Please”
Settled in to watch the IFE and yep JAM is absolutely brilliant, picture is fantastic and almost HD in appearance. Control interface is very intuitive too, kind of like a tablet PC or iPad, so very easy to navigate around the menus. Drinks orders came around, I took a look at the CC chart and it had my name on there as well as frequent flyer number... come on CC, go that extra centimeter and personalise the service!! Glass of whisky ordered and back to JAM....
Dinner orders followed next and I decided on the Beetroot cured Salmon and the the slow cooked Feather Steak for the main. For an upper class meal I was actually disappointed, salmon portion size was laughably small and the steak was nothing overly special but at least the portion was fair
Desert on the other hand was sublime, warm chocolate and salted caramel pudding is back the only discredit against the crew during dinner service, aside from not enough pudding for seconds, was that my glass was dry for most of the meal Oh well, onto the bar...Sat down on one of the rather under padded bar stools, that oddly appeared to generate heat too
, to have a nice cup of tea with the crew.. well the area was clear except for the FSM reading the newspaper.. He only moved across, when I nearly sat on his hand! Clearly the article was captivating.. and if it were anything but the football scores he may have been forgiven Unfortunately he was not very engaging at first and I had to do most of the talking, perhaps a bit of training is needed in how to begin and carry conversations VS, as opposed to this trained to whisper nonsense?!?Part of my conversation with him and the rest of the crew, that eventually came out of hiding, was their view on the aircraft. Ha ha, well for starters VS have not stacked the deck in their favour by removing the crew rest areas. That is bound to cause some discontent in the ranks. Although the main things that they took issue with was the quality with which everything had been put together (point proven when one of the CC pointed out the crack on the top of the bar!) and also the severe lack of space. For example the forward galley has 5 crew working it during a meal service and not only is it tight quarters, they are expected to move everything when a pax needs to use the forward restrooms!! Those VS designers on form again!
A part of me feels sorry for the crew, they must go through this all the time, although when they have to ask pax as to how Aeromobile works, I do find it a tad concerning (Remember that fellow I mentioned earlier? Yep, he was told to swipe his credit card on the IFE handset to activate the phone?!? Ha ha ha ha ha) Well done Cabin Crew training course!! (For those who are unfamiliar with the JAM handsets, they are not phones, and indeed don’t have a place to swipe the credit card, so who knows how he managed that one.) Needless to say, as I was propping up the bar, I set the record straight (again thanks v-flyer for this knowledge
) Crew had to carry on duties and so left me at the bar with another glass of whiskey.. oh dear. Must say I felt like a bit of an alcoholic, sitting there drinking on my lonesome but it was strangely relaxing watching the buzz of people wandering all over the place. Drink finished, back to the seat and back to JAM
A couple of service runs were made offering ice cream and drinks, for the most part people seemed fine though. Always nice to be asked. I for one fell asleep partly propped up against the “opaque” window. Poor fella in the seat next to me received a good long look at my ear I would imagine
Awoke to find them prepping for landing so gathered all my junk together and readied myself for the mad dash towards the JFK customs hall. Upon arrival queues were not too bad, there was no meandering snake around the corridors, although the desks were rather busy. I don’t quite know how people can misunderstand this .... Fill out the blue customs form before you reach the front of the queue and remove passport from protective sleeve/inside jacket pocket/portable safe or wherever you hide it! It would make this whole process much more speedy and I would avoid watching my bag through the glass wall as it goes around and around and around the conveyor belt..... All in all not the best time through the border, but by far not the worst either. Bag retrieved from its F1 circuits and off to Manhattan I go.
New UCS has potential, assuming the seats are functioning, however VS still need to address a few teething issues. Perhaps a change of design team to one that does not garner ideas from huffing the contents of a Pritt stick for starters? Joking aside, I think their main problem at the moment are the crews. With some good and some bad it shines a light on the massive inconsistency in their training! Have all the FSMs engaging the pax and actually leading their teams, as opposed to hiding in the galley or at the bar, granted they need a bit of down time but some of what I have seen on recent flights is truly ridiculous. It may also be an idea to have them properly trained on the aircraft functionality and take what they say into consideration. With the CC always in the air, surely that will give them a wealth of experience that VS should be tapping into??
Thanks for reading
Not impressed if so.