V-Flyer

Well v-flyers another one of my missives from the LHR-JFK route…. This morning started before the sun came up, which whilst depressing, is expected summer in the UK has truly passed us by and winter is upon us… and no there is evidently no autumn in my world

Car transfer was really and I mean really quiet and despite numerous attempts to engage the driver in conversation, with one word answers it is rather tricky, unless I fancied giving him a quiz I guess…. I wonder if he knows what Magna Carter means ?!? So escape I did into the paper and just left to feel the car speed me to LHR.

Upon arrival despite being booked into PE he tried to get into the drive-thru….. no solicitation or request from me so god knows what he was thinking. As expected a voice appeared from the metal box informing him of my ineligibility and a command to turn around. Well not to be deterred he tried to drive the wrong way into the drive thru lane to turn around!!! I could see the headlines now… CDC driver shot by police whilst trying to breech airport security!!! Passenger in back of car forced to miss flight, but VS spokesman says that the pax in question has been rebooked at no extra cost to himself onto the next available flight (the VS45- NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!) Anyways he finally reversed, did a U-Turn and deposited me at the Zone A entrance. Cases retrieved from the boot and a brisk walk to check in, was not going to be hanging around today. Interesting start to the morning, is that a VS LHR first I wonder?? I get that he was trying to do me a favour, but the drive-thru needs to be pre-booked and is only for UC pax, which I wasn’t .. yet.

Finally arrived at the check in desk and was greeted by a very friendly agent. Decided to try to grab an upgrade to UC as there was availability – flightstats is my new best friend . Unfortunately I had to explain that I had upgraded from an L class ticket into PE (P fare if people were curious) and now needed to make the move from PE into UC (a newly created G fare just for me ). Queue the accusations from the desk next to me that I was a travel agent from my knowledge of the fare codes, but ‘no’ I do this all the time and clearly have no life Back to the original agent, she popped off and referred me to her colleague at the ticketing desk who would reissue the ticket for me into UC …… yay!!! Well the fun does not stop there v-flyers, as per procedure she had to call FC and asked them if I had enough mileage and to take them from my account. Well I sniggered knowing my mileage balance was more than enough but stood patiently and waited and waited and waited…….. no one answered phone call number 2 – evidently a busy morning in Crawley. Ahh success a voice on the other line, but he wanted to speak with me ok security questions, fair enough… and then the question of the day, "How many miles do I need to take from your account for the upgrade sir?" Really??? You are asking me!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well the ticketing desk agent was shocked and then started to laugh, clearly going to be one of those days…

Drama of check in over I made the dash through security and the maze of the departure shops to the CH for breakfast…. Received a nice welcome back at the doors by the CH manager, and then by the server with psychic powers next to the concierge desk. This is the best way to start the day, tucked into a full English breakfast, a cup of coffee and yes I caved and had a mojito After finishing up breakfast in the restaurant area I moved over to the jazz corridor to sit in the swinging chairs to enjoy my early morning alcohol whilst looking out over the airport. Boarding called on time and wandered the corridors to gate 20 where a very nice A340-600 was awaiting me.

Greeted by the FSM at the doors by name and thanked for being a frequent flyer assumed seat 17A and was immediately approached by a smiling CC who asked if I would like coat hung up and if I needed any help storing bags etc…. the explanation of the seat would have followed but I pointed out that I have heard it a few times before.. she smirked and said if I have any questions feel free to ask. Love a bit of banter in the morning. Now the most important question… would I like a drink, well I am going to shock you v-flyers, coffee please – come on it is 9am people of course I will not be drinking this morning The Jack supply may very well be safe….. for now.. he he he.

Ahh and what is this, a new amenity kit. I must confess I tore it open like a kid at Christmas however a shock awaited me…. NO PEN!!!!!!! Really????? Why me oh well, good job I came prepared . The ‘designer’ toothbrush is nice and flimsy and yes I could def make a shiv out of this. Ready for that air-marshal wherever you may be – I do of course jest in case the CIA or MI6 are reading this

I do like 17A on the day flights, ideally placed next to the bar and doors for a quick exit and not like I am going to be sleeping so a lot of people watching to be done….. ahh my neighbour has arrived nattering on the phone and sharing his conversation with all… we all clearly need to be aware that he has been up since 5am and has already had a conference call with one of their Asian offices…. Interesting, it also appears as if he is only allowed to take 30 days on the project currently in progress, before he goes into extra time – ahh and the phone number of his wife just came out!! I wonder who he was talking to

A passenger announcement followed for a couple of lucky flyers that have been op-upped it seems as new people wandered into the UC cabin. Menus delivered by the crew and then with the close of the door away we go. The captain came over the PA thoroughly explaining the route we will be taking, maybe he could give apple maps a hand

Departure had been partly delayed due to some pax going walkabout but finally all accounted for at 311 plus 1 and the chap next to me is still on the phone!!!! Seriously people take a respite in the skies!!! Ahh a manual demonstration, have not seen one of these in ages!! Guess they have to keep it fresh in mind, and bloody hell it is being introduced in French too. Made for a change and I confess I put my paper down and watched for once ?!?

Taxied from the stand and joined the queue for take-off. Unfortunately there was a hell of a backlog to be cleared and it was very much stop, start, stop, start in heavy traffic …. Ahh how very British.

After takeoff the CC swung into action and very soon hot towels were given out and drink orders taken, now comes the time for my old friend Jack. Yep a JD and coke ordered and crisps welcomed. I cannot fault these guys so far except service did appear to go very slowly. It is a shame, however, no doubt people who do this less frequently than I would not notice. Must say though this is the single area that needs improvement on the flight thus far.

When dinner orders were finally taken I opted for the Beetroot cured salmon to start and the feather steak for the main – I know boring.. I am very happy that the chocolate and salted caramel pudding is still on the menu Will be tucking into that later on.

Side tangent on the state of the seats and I have to say that they are definitely worn and there are evident signs the cabin needs a good clean… please VS change your cleaning firm – as slinky said in one of my previous TRs sometimes you just want to grab some Dettox wipes from home given the condition of the bathrooms, even one of the separation curtains was half hanging off the rail. That being said the VS UC seats are still some of the best business class in the sky in my opinion.

Dinner service was quick and efficient – although a gent a few rows along did have his drink spilt on him.. The cabin crew did a good clear up job and no damage was done so moving along.. There was even a surprise appearance of Wilbur and Orville adorned by their new black jackets. I passed on the amuse-bouche which was described by one crew member as a sort of garlic, Philidelphia thing

Starter arrived and the salmon portion is still laughably small unfortunately. Portion control is clearly at a premium although I understand VS have just changed caterers so perhaps this will improve in the coming months. Feather steak with potatoes and carrots was amazing and yes AT240 that (no doubt MSG ridden) pepper sauce made the meal – although the steak was cooked well and I highly recommend it.

I did decide to take dessert at the bar and yep you guessed it chocolate and salted caramel pudding which was of course accompanied by another glass or two of Jack – sorry return flight, finished the supply Was not just me though..

Conversation time with the crew and any who happened to venture up to the bar.. There were a few cabin crew on board that have yet to experience the fun and games of the new UCS. Needless to say we traded notes on what had been fed through to them and what it was actually like. It is fascinating how the conversations do occasionally meander the way of the new suites. Perhaps this was contained in another memo from the dream factory over in Crawley to get info and feedback from pax discreetly. We ultimately digressed the conversation down a variety of avenues including travels around the globe, VS routes, the VS A380 options (he he), the Boeing dreamliner and naturally careers. V-Flyer also came up as one of the crew was asking me if I knew about it – clearly we are famous or simply required reading, who knows. My time at the bar ended with the ever-illustrious cup of green tea, which was thoroughly enjoyed along with some light snacks.

I opted to retreat from the bar when a group of women, and I use the term women loosely and in the hopes of not be being prosecuted under the trades description act decided to camp in the jump-seats basically talking a lot and saying nothing. Back to the seat and Graze sausage and mash ordered, wow small portion… another please. Need to be relatively level headed for the meetings ahead with potentially no time to stop for lunch – quick turnaround this trip.

Whilst this crew have excelled themselves gallantly (well done if you are reading this and you know who you are.) I shall not be shooting a message off to crawley towers on this occasion. Above and beyond the call of service guys, this time around I received the amazing VS service that should be delivered on all their flights – fingers crossed for the way home.

I did have about an hour nap to recharge the old batteries and awoke to see the afternoon tea trolley being wheeled down the aisle… ahh just in time Afternoon coffee, cakes and sandwiches scoffed down and then time to pack all my things together ready to go. iPad out and watched a couple of episodes of downloaded TV shows… the thread entitled "You know you do this too often when…" sprung to mind as I had seen everything worth watching on the IFE system unfortunately – maybe in the next month or two there will be something to surprise me.

Landed into JFK only a little behind schedule and after a surprisingly short taxi it was time to crowd around the door and await the dash to border control. The border was clear and I only waited about 5 minutes, pretty good going for JFK. Case retrieved and out into the wet and humid conditions for the taxi ride to Manhattan.

All in all a good VS experience and just what is expected from myself of the service. Crew were on form and the FSM was dotting about the place doing whatever he could to help out. I feel the pax were well looked after and despite the loud snoring fellow next to me, that I did wish to smother with a pillow, I enjoyed it all. Well done crew of the VS003

Thanks for reading guys

Joeyc

Thanks for such an entertaining TR The silent driver attempting to do a "Bruce Wiilis" at the DTCI had me in stitches

I now realise why you made a comment on my recent TR about the lack of Jack Daniels if you ever watch the VS videos of the new UC Cabin the one about pouring a whiskey shows a full bottle of JD - come on VS, you know it makes sense

Thanks once again

buns

Great TR joeyc, thanks for sharing!

buns wrote:I now realise why you made a comment on my recent TR about the lack of Jack Daniels

Ahhhh thought you would have noticed my weakness for whiskey by now and yeh JD is the best one on board... they have told me in the past that it is some stupid weight issue.. I suggested getting rid of the bottle of Dewars

Cheers buns and stevop21, glad my TRs entertained. Always hesitant to post given the routes I do are generally the same but always try to share if something interesting happens..