V-Flyer

Good lord! No... Surely it can't be true! It's impossible! Such things are not meant to be!

Yes, I can hear the cries from here as I type this, because after about 30 flights, I've finally got round to writing a TR. You can put it down to sheer boredom if you like, given that I'm sat at the bar writing this and it's like a morgue right now, everyone wanting to get some rest it seems, despite it technically being a daytime flight. There are even a few spare seats in UC, which is fairly unusual for what is usually a busy commuter flight to the east coast. I'm starting to wonder if some of my fellow bankers are being told to fly PE these days, but no, I don't see the barbarians at the gate just yet. Harrumph... Anyway, back to the beginning...

The first vaguely worthy item of note is that I was, for the first time I can recall, picked up in a Merc. Perhaps that might not seem that big a deal, but seeing as I thought Tristar had pretty much cornered the Volvo market, it came as a small surprise. Must be these 80 TPs that I racked up last year I think to myself, harbouring delusions of adequacy. The sky's the limit, next thing you know I'll get a name check at the door of the plane. Naaaaaaah....

As usual, it was a smooth 40 min run down the the UC wing, where I was 'processed' efficiently and with a friendly smile. But... Oh no, what is that ahead of me... Dear gods no, a party of Americans who have, apparently, never flown UC before. Scratch that, they clearly have never flown anywhere at all before because to a man/woman, they all proceeded to fart around, at great length, in the security line. Yes, liquids do have to be put in the tray seperately. Now... Where in my cavernous rollaboard could they possibly be? And they have to be in a clear plastic bag, you say? How interesting... Oh, and you mean an iPad counts as a computer and has to come out as well? But I've just zipped up my bag. Hang on, I'm going in again...

And so on, for 15 minutes. At least. The queue behind me was 20 deep by the time I finally got onto the belt myself. Now I know how poor George Clooney must have felt in that daft film where he actually takes pride in racking up 10 million domestic US miles.

Admittedly, proof reading this, it makes me sound horribly intolerant, but I was twitching to get to the CH to see my beloved Spurs overturn the 1 goal lead that those cheeky upstarts Leeds thought they could get away with. Oh the irony...

I should also point out that I am in no way having a pop at my transatlantic cousins. I have seen plenty of completely incompetent Brits in various security lines in my time. Just never in the UC wing.

So let's not dwell too long on the next hour because frankly, no amount of good service, wine, food etc (all of which were indeed good, although the place was unusually empty) would make up for seeing that 2-1 scoreline. I will just mention that the area with the hanging chairs was boarded off for some sort of renovation work (I may have missed a mention of this from prior TRs...) And I can report that the Brulee with prunes and armagnac was excellent. And mercifully light on prunes.

Just as the flight was called, I got the almost customary visit from one of the FC team, asking me if I was a member (haha) and if there was anything that they could do to improve the experience. Well... Let's just say that conversation took me all the way up to the 'last and final call' announcement. Poor woman. That 2-1 was still fresh in my mind.

So, with talk of reward seat availability, need for Belfast as a domestic route, and a few choice comments about the 'dream' suite ringing in her ears, I hot footed it down to gate 21, where the gate was far from closing. Darn, I could have got another glass of Lussac St-Emilion in there, I definitely took my eye off the ball. Bit like that sorry North London outfit, who... Ok, I'll get my coat.

So, I walk onto the plane. 'Hello Mr RC, welcome back'. Dear lord, they had to pick me up off the floor. Just shows that it can happen, and how nice those little touches are. So, with a warm glow, I head towards my beloved 19A, and see one of the Americans from earlier taking a picture of the A zone, which none of them (sadly) are sitting in. One to remember for next time boys and girls.

We then get the customary introductions, a mere 202 pax on board, but we are blessed with 2 FSMs, one dedicated to UC. How nice. And seriously, this has got to be one of the best flights, service-wise that I have ever had. Let's face it, I was a bit grumpy given the footie (and this despite the fact I'll take Cricket and Rugby for preference), but I was a very happy man by the time I got off the plane. Largely due to 2 people - firstly the really lovely, friendly and above all, professional lady looking after me - Jade (permission to use name asked for and received). Over the last few years I've been flying VS, I've had (so to speak) a wide range of CC, ranging from downright disinterested, through to 'functional', and upwards. Jade was definitely up there with the best, and I hope that we cross paths again. Given that she mentioned to me that there is now some crossover with CC between the LHR and LGW/MAN routes, I'd say there's a fair chance. Anyway, suitable positive commentary will get to Crawley Towers, if only to demonstrate to them that I am not a one dimensional whiny old git.

And secondly, the 'overall' (as there were 2) FSM, Aiden (permission requested/granted again). Although we only had a chat towards the end of the flight, he was very conspicuous throughout, leading from the front and setting the right example. Being a native of Belfast, I threw in my usual request for VS to fly there. Well, at some point it might work!

As far as food goes, it was apparently the 1st day of a new menu, so here for your edification is what was on offer:

Starters:

Smoked Duck with green beans, malted granola, and pomegranate molasses vinaigrette

Carrot soup with Zanzibar spices and yoghurt

Mains:

Asian braised shin of beef with bok-choy and rice

Roast breast of chicken with cheddar cheese champ potatoes, courgette and balsamic jus

Dolcelatte cheese and butternut squash tortellini with pea shoots and pumpkin seeds

Dessert:

Gianduja chocolate shortbread with vanilla cream

Warm bread and butter pudding with apple syrup


Plus the usual cheeses, graze menu etc.

I had the duck (good), beef (meh... Bit gloopy and no real asian spice theme going, bit like beef, gravy and rice, although tender enough), and shortbread (ok, but debatable whether it's worth getting fat for. Luckily, I'm well past that decision point).

Not a huge amount of choice on the IFE, seemed to be a lot more children's films than usual. But I did watch Looper (better than I expected, even if parts of the plot were nicked from The Boys from Brazil and Fight Club. And my word, isn't Bruce Willis getting old). And the Sweeney, which I quite liked once I shook off the notion that Ray Winstone was going to start giving out live odds on how well his next op was going to work out.

I spent an hour or so at the bar, which as I mentioned, was far from lively, but to the CC's credit, it was kept in good condition and definitely not used as a dumping ground for paperwork etc as I have seen on other flights.

So now I'm writing the last piece of my TR from my limo. The icing on the cake was a deserted immigration hall, and the limo waiting for me. Not even any traffic tonight, so aside from the initial blip with security, this has been one of the smoothest and most enjoyable business flights that I've had for a long time.

There you go Virgin, that's your blueprint. Take that and bottle it... All you need to do to top that is to persuade Daniel Levy that Spurs really need an extra striker. Right now.

RC

Leeds 2 Tottenham 1 ... that hasn't happened in many a year and as a 35 year Leeds supporter it's a joy, but then for 25 of those years we've not had much to put our head above the parapet for (other than a good kicking). I'll be digging out my Billy Bremner signed photo next!

What a sparkling TR and what sounds like a great flight. Super team, shame about the beef, old ladies, good wine.

Welcome back - which we'll say after your next TR .

Oh dear, football supporters

An awesome TR RC keep them coming.

Ahh that FC rep in the LHR CH is used to the tirades of pax by now I would imagine. A woman whose name begins with an A.. has had a couple of conversations with myself and whomever I might be travelling with in the past and now I'm convinced actively ignores me when she sees me appear through the door.

As another observation, Tristar usually send a merc my way when on a CDC.. Transfers are from London or Richmond so do we think they are trying to make a good impression Or perhaps just lucky..

Cheers for posting

As a Brighton supporter just getting over being "eased" out of the FA cup by Arsenal I feel your pain.

Great TR, so good to hear that VS can get it right and fingers crossed it continues.

Great TR thanks. Keep up the pressure for that Belfast route as well, although its a bit busy with EI and BA jockeying for space at BHD.

As for the FA Cup - best not mentioned - where is Oldham anyway?

PS - Thanks for the menu - looks promising

Excellent TR, thanks. More please.

Marvellous TR (in stlye), and for VS.....great to read of one of these types of flight experiences again....well done.

Football? What's that!!!!

Thanks for a great TR .... very informative.. as I'm travelling on the 09 in February (PE). Nice to know that JFK immigration hall was easy I'm taking a Wednesday flight, so hoping for the same

Great TR, thanks for posting :-)

ratechaser wrote:. Scratch that, they clearly have never flown anywhere at all before because to a man/woman, they all proceeded to fart around, at great length, in the security line. Yes, liquids do have to be put in the tray seperately. Now... Where in my cavernous rollaboard could they possibly be? And they have to be in a clear plastic bag, you say? How interesting... Oh, and you mean an iPad counts as a computer and has to come out as well? But I've just zipped up my bag. Hang on, I'm going in again...

And so on, for 15 minutes. At least. The queue behind me was 20 deep by the time I finally got onto the belt myself. Now I know how poor George Clooney must have felt in that daft film where he actually takes pride in racking up 10 million domestic US miles.

RC

Why can't the idiots get sent back to the back of the queue till they learn about laptops and fluids etc..
It does get me riled

Great report! More please!

I think that CC name rings a bell.

joeyc wrote:
As another observation, Tristar usually send a merc my way when on a CDC.. Transfers are from London or Richmond so do we think they are trying to make a good impression Or perhaps just lucky..

Cheers for posting

You're very lucky. I've always had Volvos.

Great TR, thanks for writing it.

I had 2 FSM's on my flight the other day, a nice touch.

Thank you all. And in the cold light of day I realise that most of that TR was written under the influence of about 2 bottles of wine, which makes it all the more remarkable that it came out even vaguely intelligible. I definitely recommend the Spanish red by the way.

As for those of you asking for more TRs, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. 1 per year sounds like an achievable target, so see you all in 2014... Seriously, I suspect my next one is likely to be my ANU flight given it'll be my inaugural use of PE.

Joeyc, I can only assume you are a very special individual to get the Merc treatment on a regular basis.

Jacki, as a Spurs fan, I obviously share your pain at that thoroughly undeserved Arsenal win. Oh well...

Crofty, to be fair, we were all new and inexperienced at this flying lark once, although I suspect that this didn't apply to said American brethren (although I suppose they could have got the boat over in the 1st place).

And as a final postscript, when I got to my hotel, I was comp'd an upgrade to a suite. An all round perfect NY trip so far.