V-Flyer

This is the return journey from Lagos I made at the end of September.

As I mentioned in my previous report, the Virgin flights are timed differently from the majority of European flights, which meant a reasonable 40 minute drive from Victoria Island to the airport. There is a boarding card check to get into the terminal building and then it was a quick fly past of the Virgin area (to the left of security) to grab a departure card. Note that with hand baggage only you need to find someone to give you one of these and it is essentially the same as the landing card.

Happily early in the morning there was not much of a security queue, but there is still a hasslesome process of passport and landing card check (taking two different people), security scan and pat down (everyone getting this) and then currency check to prevent people taking large sums out of the country. Here I encountered my first hint of a request for a bribe which I sidestepped and he let me go with a "Give my regards to the Queen of England". Unable to think of a witty rejoinder I skittered away, glad to be airside.

Virgin has a contract lounge at the far left of the main concourse: the Oasis Lounge which is near the wing for the 'E' gates and just past the spiral staircase which leads to the Star Alliance lounge. BA has its own lounge which is pretty decent, but the Oasis lounge is a fairly small room with a bar and tiny breakfast area with a coffee pot and a few hot items. The staff are fairly welcoming, but that's more than could be said for the passengers, many of whom arrived with their flunkies carrying their passports, and I saw at least a couple of people curtseying to no doubt the great and the good of Nigeria.

As the departure time approached the lounge was soon standing room only so I decided on a saunter to the gate at the end of the E concourse. A further security check included a hand search of cabin baggage and another pat down before I could sit in the gate area. While waiting an immigration person came into the gate and asked everyone to check their passport as apparently someone had been using a stamp with the wrong date. Quite what would have happened had one travelled on such a passport I don't know (presumably nothing whatsoever) but happily mine was correct.

Then to the plane. I was first into Upper Class and settled down into my seat (5K) with a glass of the fizzy stuff. But the seat was uncomfortable with the lumbar support fully extended, feeling as if someone was making a very long, slow kick to the small of my back. No matter, a quick press of the requisite button and all was well. Except it wasn't. In fact, none of the buttons was working, and neither was the reading light. I reached over to the other seats with not a little trepidation: yes, they were working fine.

At this point I started to fear the worst: the Lagos route is normally packed, and the cabin crew (who tried unsuccessfully to reboot the seat) told me that there were no free seats. Still, apparently there was a good likelihood that once we were in the air the seat could be reset.

And here, dear reader, you will have jumped ahead to ascertain that no, the seat was inoperative throughout the flight. I managed to assuage some of the pain in my back using judiciously placed pillows, but it was hardly ideal. Happily brute force managed to release the table for food, and my IFE was working, but I still hobbled off the plane bent almost double.

One of the cabin crew did ask later in the flight if I suffered from a bad back - I was tempted to say that "I didn't, but I do now" - and the reality is that I have chronic spondylitis which needs copious amounts of painkillers and Pilates to keep in check. What it didn't need was a malfunctioning seat for 6 hours.

There was sympathy all round, and the FSM promised to write it up and get 12,000 miles to my account, although frankly this seemed like a paltry amount in comparison with the cost of the flight (around £4,500) and the pain endured. And while I'm whinging, the food was pretty bad: the salmon starter just nasty, the bread completely stale and the cheese tasteless. Only the beef stew and rice was anywhere close to being acceptable. Still, necking Chardonnay (purely for medicinal reasons) seemed to make everything more palatable, as did watching some violent Hollywood excrescence on the IFE.

As we started our descent into LHR I did become aware of a slightly strange trend in the cabin: a number of Nigerian passengers ordering (and I mean 'ordering') cabin crew to complete their landing cards. To my mind if you can't do the card you don't get in - and it wasn't a matter of disability or language at all, just rich people wanting others to do 'menial' tasks.

On landing there was also a cacophony of beeps as people in the cabin turned on their phones, and a couple of minutes later there were at least 5 people on calls despite calls from the cabin crew to wait until the door was open. I'm of fairly strict mind with this: rules is rules, and I hate it when people think that they don't apply to them. So it was a real struggle not to grab the phone from the guy in 4K and stomp it into little pieces. Still, I consoled myself that I was probably going to be through UK security rather faster than anyone else, and on departure ordered a few of the miscreants out of the way in a stentorian voice, scattering them with my trolley case.

THe final stage of my trip was where I can, perhaps, forgive Virgin in some small part. I made a beeline for the Limo desk and the chauffeur was with me in 30 seconds. And even with the evening traffic on the M4 I was home less than an hour after the wheels touched down.

I'm not sure if I'll get much of a response, but I have emailed Virgin customer services to see how they will recompense me for the discomfort suffered. Nothing as yet but hopefully my Gold status, frequent upper class flights and a considerable spend this year might get me a few more miles and a decent apology.

Again thanks for posting , sounds like a not so great UC experience , do let us know the vs response

Wow, IMO 12,000 miles is frankly insulting for a broken seat.

I would be looking for a minimum of 50k (enough for a one-way UC redemption) but only if unsuccessful in pursuing a cash refund for failing to provide the advertised product.

Whatever about the ins and outs of your own personal experience (and I'm not decrying it and hope you get more than the paltry 12K offering) I'm just fascinated by the whole experience of the LOS flights given that we get so few of them. My own experience has been passengers in the CH in full tribal costume but whether they were trying to "pull rank", I really don't know and it would be unfair of me to comment

honey lamb wrote:Whatever about the ins and outs of your own personal experience (and I'm not decrying it and hope you get more than the paltry 12K offering) I'm just fascinated by the whole experience of the LOS flights given that we get so few of them. My own experience has been passengers in the CH in full tribal costume but whether they were trying to "pull rank", I really don't know and it would be unfair of me to comment

I can comment that there is a lot of sycophancy that surrounds these "rich people" and it's not so much that they are trying to pull rank as it is them genuinely believing that the world revolves around them and everyone around them must naturally fall over themselves to see that they get their own way. They are also really terrible about switching off phones on Nigerian flights.

I have seen a few of the traditional chief types all dressed in white a few times but it's been a rare treat for me.

Thanks for the interesting TR.

Did the crew complete the cards? I really hope they didn't. Surely that is not in the job spec!

A very poor flight and I hope VS increase their compensation offer as it does sound like a miserable experience.

Wow! Now I would terribly miffed if I'd paid that money and had an inoperable seat I agree with all in that 12000 is not acceptable recompense for the situation, though it may be all the FSM is allowed to promise

Good luck with CS & let us know how it goes

Wow
I would not have enjoyed that flight :-(
I hope VS CS take care of this. I agree that perhaps 12,000 miles may be all the FSM is allowed to offer onboard though.
Fingers crossed hey.
Yeah I agree rules is rules no matter the persons so called status lol

at240 wrote:Thanks for the interesting TR.

Did the crew complete the cards? I really hope they didn't. Surely that is not in the job spec!

I wonder too. That is so ridiculous to request.

Thank you for the TR, sorry to read it wasn't a good experience.

Just had an email from the exec office: 20,000 miles which is better than 12,000 at least. Mind you, not visible in my account as yet. Once they arrive I guess I'll be happy-ish.