V-Flyer

I'll get the minor annoyance out if the way early in, although in doing so I admit it was pretty much nobody's fault but my own. Why does the Virgin website only allow you to book either the cheapest fare, or the most expensive? Is it not time to add the cheapest upgradeable fare to the list?

I ended up with a K fare outbound and a Z inbound, and not having familiarised myself with V-Flyer prior to booking I didn't think much about the conditions attached nor how they'd haunt me.

I'd tried six times to blag an upgrade from the K, to no avail and I suppose rightly so because if they "made an exception" it becomes a precedent and the whole condition of K not being upgradeable using miles would be invalidated.

So, with me finally having accepted I'd be in PE, here goes....

Check-in, no issues. Quick, pleasant, job done. Security at LHR is a breeze although I managed to trigger an alarm through the scanner which resulted in a shoes-off meeting with that body scanner thing , so I suppose that means some security personnel has seen the outline of my genitals. Lucky them, that's all I can say. Strangely the scan flagged up warnings on both my wrists, which even the staff were confused at.

I took advantage of the No. 1 lounge via Priority Pass to waste the hour and a half I had spare, obviously it's no Clubhouse but it has a hot and cold food selection, a bar, and a spa that you can pay for. Relatively uneventful stay there, aside from me seeing the tail of a BA plane glide into view from the window outside, when I took a closer look it was the same A320 that had brought me into LHR from Gibraltar yesterday, and yes I am sad enough to have recognised the registration number!

So, with a departure time of 0915 and my watch saying 0825 I headed off to the gate. There was a queue down the corridor of gate 22, with no suggestion that economy and others would be split off at some point. This might be a good idea, as I think those "in the know" we're getting tuts and typically British "don't they know there's a queue" stares from everyone else.

However it wasn't a hardship, although as much as I do get excited about flying, the whole "I wish I was in UC" thing clearly stood out as I was the last person to take their seat in the PE cabin, everyone else probably savouring the occasion more than I.

It wasn't long before the complimentary pre-flight drinks were served, I noted it was referred to as sparkling wine rather than champagne but I'm no wine snob and it tasted fine to me, especially as I'd already had two glasses of pinio grigio in the lounge.

The PE cabin was in the capable hands of two fantastic crew. I'm sure I've read on here before that you're not allowed to mention names, but quite honestly I think I'd have asked one of them out to dinner tonight. Bit of a weakness for red hair.....

Food on board was perfectly edible. The choice of mains was shepherd's pie, veg curry, or gnocchi. The minor gripe was that the starter had a small bottle of dressing that came in a glass container. Plastic squeezable ones would be way better! Then again, if any woman has the wrist actions necessary to get the dressing out of that bottle, I think I'd be asking her out to dinner too.

The later snack was a wrap, either chicken and bacon, or two types of cheese. Both had spicy mayo with them. I asked for cheese and got chicken. No biggie. I noted that in those midget-friendly bags of crisps that the crisps themselves were actually really small, rather then being broken bits of larger ones. Do they grow especially small potatoes just for airlines? I need to know.

Another minor gripe. I'd knocked back a fair amount of booze even after the first meal. My count was 2 glasses of wine, one sparkling wine, one red wine with the meal, a gin and tonic before, and two glasses of that cream liqueur after. I was nodding off so performed that terrible flying faux pax of reclining my seat on a daytime flight. Cue me getting flailing arms from the woman behind claiming I was "pinning her into her seat". Now I made some half-baked attempt to put my seat back up by 0.05mm to shut her up, but I did notice when I later went to the toilet that she made Jimmy Krankie look like a professional wrestler and that she wouldn't have reached the back of my seat even if she'd been wearing stilts.

Entertainment wise I got a bit confused that the damned thing wasn't touch screen nor did the control panel seem to respond easily at all. Choice was good, I watched American Sniper and was saddened to learn that in real life he has died because otherwise I'd have hired him to do a number on the moany cow behind me.

We arrived at JFK pretty much on time but then suffered a delay in disembarking as one airbridge didn't work, so then we'd all have to use just one, but then the second one didn't work but they'd fixed the first one.

What I will say is that the whole immigration process has become so much more bearable! I was on a return ESTA so got to use the self-service machines. Thank god they accept British passports and I was through in less than 10 minutes.

So, that's my experience of the A340-600. Whether I'll ever get another one I'm not sure, my remaining booked flights this year are on an LGW 747 and the 789. I did note that the aisle width in UC was very limited! We had to walk through to disembark and I did think that if you were quite tall you'd constantly get nudged as people went past.

Now going to enjoy some Michelin starred dining, two football matches (proper, not that American rugby-for-wimps version), and some eye-opening times in casinos before I jet back on VS44. Thanks for reading!

Great report- if you're heading back before the end of the week can you let me know what the weather is like down on the CDS/ Gib. Heading that way on Friday and have the usual dilemma of what to pack ( or rather what not to pack lol ).
Thanks

DL

I won't be back but if you are in any way twitterised I'd recommend checking out @meteogib as Steph is the absolute guru when it comes to Gib area weather.

This year has been a bit quirky but just before I left the sun definitely started to make its appearances a little more assertive.

Fab report - I was tittering all the way through.

Thanks for the TR abraxias a fantastic read and had me chuckling in a few places

As to the scanner going off at something on your wrists - cufflinks? I've had that one before in the US.

So that is what Crawley towers have been spending their research budget on.... midget potatoes to make crisps

Good luck in Vegas

The TR livened up a slow Sunday while the folks are still out gathering flowers for Mothers Day (second one of the year, confuses me no end), thanks for posting.

If you happen to get bored of or broke at the casinos then the Vegas Pinball Hall of Fame / Museum (free entry then just a pocketful of 25c coins to play with) is somewhere to take a tilt at on Tropicana (between Spencer and Maryland) - a fun way to kill an hour or two between gut busting buffets.

Joey - I should have said, the scanner was perplexing because I was wearing a t-shirt and had nothing even near my wrists! Maybe I slightly moved my hands when it was being done and that caused the trigger.

Tim - thanks, I love pinball so I'll definitely try and hunt that one down.

Thanks for a very entertaining report, made good reading.
Setting of the scanner could be because of your electric personality perhaps, I have the same problem

If you look at pinballmuseum.org the details are on there - including a games list.

If you're also a fan of both the classic and the latest video games and you're lurking around Freemont then a trip to insertcoinslv.com is a must (and lots of other interesting bars etc in that part of Downtown these days).

Enjoy the rest of your trip!

Thanks for the TR. The part about the salad dressing was the funniest bit for me.

I've also been quite perplexed about why you can only get the cheapest or most fares when booking.

Very funny, thanks for the entertainment!

Great TR, thank you for posting.

I love those mini crisps - I seem to recall some blurb on the back of the pack about the dinky potatoes, but I can't tell you what it says I'm afraid. Maybe someone else will remember...

Great to see a review of PE, don't see many these days.
Did you have the 'wonder wall' ?
I have not travelled PE for over 3 years, and we are doing so in just over 2 weeks, thanks for the entertaining review !

If there was a wander wall (is it wander or wonder?) then I never saw it and I don't think anyone used it. Most of the flight the curtains were pulled across too which inherently deterred anyone from going that way.

Oh and I forgot to mention it but I would say for a flight of 7 hours or so PE is more than adequate. The seats are comfy and you have plenty of room, unless you sit behind me obviously. I'd be less inclined for a night flight (pardon the pun) but for daytime it's fine.

Oh yes it probably is wander ? ie. wander round and help yourself (or maybe not in your case.)
But then it could also be - I wonder what they've got behind those curtains
:-)

lovetoholiday wrote:Great to see a review of PE, don't see many these days.
Did you have the 'wonder wall' ?
I have not travelled PE for over 3 years, and we are doing so in just over 2 weeks, thanks for the entertaining review !

The OP was on an A346 so there is no wander wall , that's only on the dream liners