V-Flyer

Bonjour, bienvenue, wilkommen and welcome to Eurovision 2007! I get strangely excited about this televisual spectacular every year. We even host our own Eurovision party[:I] Well, it all kicks off this weekend - it's time to choose which act should have the honour of receiving 'nul points' for the UK this time round...

Making Your Mind Up

Scooch should represent us. This is Eurovision, if we want to win we have to have really cheesy Europop.

God no! Cheesy they may be but the similarity to Steps is just too nausiating to comprehend.

I too consider myself a Eurovision purest, and feel that Cyndi (you can guarantee when she signs autographs she dots the 'i' with a circle or - lord preserve us - a heart!) embraces a good old fashioned Eurovision style. And the song is nice and 'big' too. And she doesn't look too British, which can only be an advantage...

Liz ex Atomic Kitten gets my vote, her song is a good classic Eurovison style one and might give us a chance of getting a resonable score (it has to happen one year). I've got a funny feeling that Justin Hawkins however is going to be chosen however.

Whatever happens I'm already giddy for this Sat and getting so excited for the 12th May, its my fav event of the whole year:D:D

You should come to our party. We even run an unofficial score sheet with our own recommendations for points allocation. Extra points are given for:

-Song changes key (more points if more than once)
-Performer resembles stereotype of their country eg. Austrians in lederhosen, Germans in white socks and slip-on shoes (or lederhosen), Dutch in clogs
-Song is ÔtraditionalÕ national song eg. Greeks wail a lot to balalaikas, Israelis wail ‡ la Fiddler on the Roof, Maltese wail, period
-Bad dress sense, tight leather trousers, scary dresses, jackets with sleeves rolled up
-Excessive chest hair
-Armpit hair (more points if female)
-Acne
-Questionable gender of any performer
-Bad hair eg. Big Hair, ginger hair, mullets
-Performer resembles someone you know
-Performer resembles another famous person
-Performer is ugly enough to turn milk/stomachs
-All or any part of a song is rapped
-Nonsensical song titles (biddy-diddy-boo etc.)
-Song is sung in two or more different languages
-Solo artist has a one word name or uses Christian name only e.g. Sting, Nicole
-Any former eastern block country does a soft-rock ballad
-Singers have matching outfits (more points if outfits are shiny)
-Terry gives the song an unusually big build up
-Terry canÕt pronounce the song title/performers names
-Terry comments on a performers outfit
-Terry obviously has the horn for a particular performer
-Any performer plays a fiddle (more points for being female/wearing floaty clothes/looking a bit Irish)
-German entry is an intentional p*ss take
-Performers wave at the audience after theyÕve finished their song
-Last words of the song are actually the song title, best done if each syllable gets a big drum beat (more points if performers raise their hands aloft, flashy lights, explosions etc.)
-Song is an attempt to recreate a retro musical style eg. Rock ÔnÕ roll, doo-wop, Motown (more points if performers are dressed in line with musical style eg. Teddy Boys)
-The audience are encouraged to clap in time to the song (more points if they actually do)
-Part of the chorus is sung without instruments to encourage more clapping-in-time (more points if band members claps with their hands over their heads)
-Prominent nipples
-Over energetic, unnecessary or just plain crap dancers (more points if there are three or more dancers and only one is crap)

Sorry, this is sad. isn't it?

Isnt eurovision highly political though? (watching which country sucks up to others,etc)

I remember watching it one year at a nightclub,very entertaining![}:)][:o)]

OMG this is my favourite time of year! EUROVISION!!!!! [^][^] WE too hold a party for Eurovision, but love your scoring card Mdvipond!!! I just love Terry Wogan, he is the BEST! [oo][oo]

mdvipond - you and I really need to talk - I am loving your score sheet, we have something very similar but yours is just fab. We had to turn down tickets to Making your Mind up on Sat due to a prior engagement[n][n]

Also, no, it isn't sad, I am sorry but if people do not enjoy Eurovision then there is something seriously wrong, I have to delay celebrating my birthday as it always falls on the weekend just before/after and I refuse to even consider missing it.

I used to be a big fan of Eurovision. The campness of the whole thing (combined with Wogan's dry wit) was irresistible. But sadly since we've become persona non grata (thanks to our friendliness with the US), we have no chance. It's no longer about a singing contest, and purely who's your neighbour. I'm inclined to suggest the BBC (who put a lot of money into the event) pick up their ball and go home.

Pete

There was a great bit in this week's PopBitch about Eurovision entries....

http://popbitch.com/latestIssue.html

Thanks,
Richard

I know what you are saying Pete and to a certain extent I agree with you, but I still feel strongly that if we put forward an artist and a song that is worthy of winning it will do so, our problem is that our last few entries have been 2/3yrs behind the times, with a quality of performer that wasn't up to the job (Javine/Jemini to name a couple) put a pro in like Katrina and the results speak for themselves!

Originally posted by pixuk
I used to be a big fan of Eurovision. The campness of the whole thing (combined with Wogan's dry wit) was irresistible. But sadly since we've become persona non grata (thanks to our friendliness with the US), we have no chance. It's no longer about a singing contest, and purely who's your neighbour. I'm inclined to suggest the BBC (who put a lot of money into the event) pick up their ball and go home.

Pete

Sadly, all too true. Cyprus go 'douze points' for Greece (and vice versa), and now the Baltics and the Slovak types all do the same. The French (god love 'em) invariably give us a couple of points as lip service and it's only really the Irish (scared crapless as they are of winning again and bankrupting the country) who occasionally give us double points.

However, if we go for Cyndi this year we get: a great big ballad that sounds a bit like 'Danny Boy' crossed with the theme from Titanic, bags of room for wind machines, dry ice, floaty dresses and a fiddler and - wait for this - she's French. Vote for Cyndi and it's in the bag!

Originally posted by mdvipond

-Singers have matching outfits (more points if outfits are shiny)

-One of the performers has detachable elements to their outfits (more points if even vaguely attractive)

Originally posted by Attitude23

Also, no, it isn't sad, I am sorry but if people do not enjoy Eurovision then there is something seriously wrong, I have to delay celebrating my birthday as it always falls on the weekend just before/after and I refuse to even consider missing it.

You think you're bad - check out the countdown to my next flight (booked some 6 months ago, by the way) to appreciate how I plan my (sad) life around these things...

Originally posted by FamilyMan

Originally posted by mdvipond

One of the performers has detachable elements to their outfits (more points if even vaguely attractive)

Is that the performer or the detachable element that has to be attractive?

Originally posted by mdvipond
You should come to our party. We even run an unofficial score sheet with our own recommendations for points allocation. Extra points are given for:

-Song changes key (more points if more than once)
-Performer resembles stereotype of their country eg. Austrians in lederhosen, Germans in white socks and slip-on shoes (or lederhosen), Dutch in clogs etc etc etc etc

deleted long list to save space on the server!!


Sorry, this is sad. isn't it?

Yep[V]

I am quite into my Eurovision. I can generally pull out the ones that will be voted in the top 2 or 3 and yet again this year United Kingdom seem to have missed the point of Eurovision. I don't understand why we make it so difficult. There are some simple rules, most of which are covered above but the main thing is, that your audience MUST be able to sing along with the chorus by the end of the song! - Mark my words, whoever wins this year will follow that. And if the song is not in English people will still be able to phonetically make some like sounds.

In the last few years it seems that a theatrical theme helps.

UK will not win based on those songs listed on the BBC website. Lordi forever ;-)

Paul

Maybe we should ask Scooch if we can adopt their song, Flying the Flag as our theme tune.

Ooo, it's all euro-poppy. Yum.

Originally posted by mdvipond

Originally posted by pixuk
I used to be a big fan of Eurovision. The campness of the whole thing (combined with Wogan's dry wit) was irresistible. But sadly since we've become persona non grata (thanks to our friendliness with the US), we have no chance. It's no longer about a singing contest, and purely who's your neighbour. I'm inclined to suggest the BBC (who put a lot of money into the event) pick up their ball and go home.

Pete

Sadly, all too true. Cyprus go 'douze points' for Greece (and vice versa), and now the Baltics and the Slovak types all do the same. The French (god love 'em) invariably give us a couple of points as lip service and it's only really the Irish (scared crapless as they are of winning again and bankrupting the country) who occasionally give us double points.

However, if we go for Cyndi this year we get: a great big ballad that sounds a bit like 'Danny Boy' crossed with the theme from Titanic, bags of room for wind machines, dry ice, floaty dresses and a fiddler and - wait for this - she's French. Vote for Cyndi and it's in the bag!

Reminds me of the time long looooong ago when the older ones of you were still in nappies and the younger ones weren't even a twinkle in your daddy's eye (he was probably still in nappies also) when they had a different voting system and the competition was confined to Western European countries. Just as the eastern bloc are all voting for each other right now, in those days it was hilarious to watch the politics that emerged in the voting. Monaco always voted for France, Luxembourg for Switzerland and in both cases vice versa; Germany would vote for Switzerland if the song was in German but not if it was in French; we didn't vote for the UK - no way! - our memories of history were too long but we howled in outrage if the UK didn't vote for us (and in fairness they always did) Just as France said "Non" to Britain's entry into the EEC at the time they also said "Non" to their Eurovision entry and so on. The number of votes was limited so any political alliances automatically rose to the top.

Ah, yes and the calibre of the songs! Who can forget Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr singing "Sing Little Birdie" or France's winning entry "Tom Pillibi" Which went along the lines of, "Tom Pillibi has two castles, the first in Scotland, Tom Pillibi has two castles, the other in Montenegro". I had the misfortune to have to learn it during our French class in school and unfortunately it has lodged itself in my brain [:0]

How camp is this thread:D

honey lamb - you really know your Eurovision. Have you considered seeking professional help? You did omit to mention, however, the undisputed king of Eurovision and your fellow country man, the truly great Johnny Logan [oo]

EGG - Very.

Originally posted by mdvipond
honey lamb - you really know your Eurovision. Have you considered seeking professional help? You did omit to mention, however, the undisputed king of Eurovision and your fellow country man, the truly great Johnny Logan [oo]

EGG - Very.

Well when you have been watching it as long as I have...... [|:)]

Speaking of Johnny Logan, funnily enough he popped up on an ad on RTE the other night - can't remember what for, but he was singing one of his Eurovision hits, the one where he wore a white suit and had a scarf slung over his shoulder [ii]

Originally posted by easygoingeezer
How camp is this thread:D

Eurovision. Camp. Whatever do you mean EGG:D

Talking about Jonny Logan, as much as I love him as a Eurovision icon, I still have some ill feeling towards him for writing the song that robbed Michael Ball of the 1992 Eurovision title, it was a disgrace only to be followed up by another outrage the year later when Sonia was again beaten by the Irish, I cried for weeks after that one, still upsets me to the day when I think about it[:(!] Oh I get so mad at times about it.

Originally posted by Attitude23

Originally posted by easygoingeezer
How camp is this thread:D

Eurovision. Camp. Whatever do you mean EGG:D

Talking about Jonny Logan, as much as I love him as a Eurovision icon, I still have some ill feeling towards him for writing the song that robbed Michael Ball of the 1992 Eurovision title, it was a disgrace only to be followed up by another outrage the year later when Sonia was again beaten by the Irish, I cried for weeks after that one, still upsets me to the day when I think about it[:(!] Oh I get so mad at times about it.

Now, now! There's no need to be sore just because we had better songs...... [:p]

Originally posted by honey lamb

Well when you have been watching it as long as I have...... [|:)]

My word, I didn't realise TV had been around that long! [:p]

Thanks,
Richard