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How do you tell people to shut the * up?

Posted:
21 May 2007, 04:10
by Howard Long
Presently sitting in the IAD Clubhouse with a 'lady' shouting down a cellphone telling someone to get out of her house and generally washing her dirty linen in public. I have tried eye contact and gestured with a finger on my lips but to no avail.
Does anyone have any top tips on these occasions? Should one carry a roll of duct tape at all times perhaps?
Funny, ISTR a similar thing with a bloke in here last time but on that occasion he had some huge deal going down with clothes pegs or something.
Cheers, howard

Posted:
21 May 2007, 09:29
by pjh
Sit there overtly, nay ostentatiously, taking notes ?
Paul

Posted:
21 May 2007, 12:46
by jaguarpig
I enjoy people watching/listening in airline lounges.It always amazes me how mega important some people think they are:D.

Posted:
21 May 2007, 12:58
by FamilyMan
Apologise for the intrusion but that you could not help but overhear. Introduce yourself as a reporter that is currently doing research into a Channel 4 programme on failed relationships and suggest that she might be in a position to help. Apologise for not having a business card as you have inadvertently packed them all. Ask for an email address where you might be able to contact her.
If she's nuts enough to fall for it you then have an email address where you can contact her later to tell her what you really thought about the conversation.
Phil FM

Posted:
21 May 2007, 13:23
by RichardMannion
Originally posted by FamilyMan
Apologise for the intrusion but that you could not help but overhear. Introduce yourself as a reporter that is currently doing research into a Channel 4 programme on failed relationships and suggest that she might be in a position to help. Apologise for not having a business card as you have inadvertently packed them all. Ask for an email address where you might be able to contact her.
If she's nuts enough to fall for it you then have an email address where you can contact her later to tell her what you really thought about the conversation.
Phil FM
Mmm, misrepresentation and over necessary. Just approach and say that the passengers in the main terminal can't hear her, could she please speak up.
Or approach with a hand written note saying 'Shut the f*ck up'.
Thanks,
Richard

Posted:
21 May 2007, 13:28
by AlanA
If you are an American: " Shut the hell up will ya! I cannot hear my Doctor and I want to talk loudly myself about my piles situation"
If you are British: " Look over the top of your newspaper and look stern"
[:o)][:o)]

Posted:
21 May 2007, 13:29
by Bean Counter
The thing with this sort of problem is that you need to act fast to shut the person up - otherwise you just end up getting wound up by their babble. I find the best thing to do go sit real close and personal, then make sure they know you are really interested in their conversation. They usually stop the conversation out of shear embarrassment.
Alternatively, and possibly slightly less weird, tap them on the shoulder and tell them to shut the f$$$ up. Usually works, but if not take their phone, turn it off and hand it back. Does the trick every time. Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.

Posted:
21 May 2007, 14:51
by Bazz
I liked what GJ proposed, I can imagine that having the desired effect and pronto! [y]

Posted:
21 May 2007, 15:15
by RichardMannion
Originally posted by Bazz
I liked what GJ proposed, I can imagine that having the desired effect and pronto! [y]
Very true, though to add good measure you could always get out your camera and start taking photos of them bawling into their phone.

Posted:
21 May 2007, 15:21
by pjh
Originally posted by Bean Counter
Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.
I once gently remonstrated with someone for lighting up in a No Smoking compartment. I spent the rest of the journey avoiding his glower and waiting for his seething resentment to overcome his girlfriend's "nah he ain't worth it" entreaties and the beating to a pulp that would have followed.
Paul

Posted:
21 May 2007, 19:50
by Bean Counter
You were probably too gentle PJH. Some people (who are beyond help) take a polite request as a sign of weakness. Glower as much as he did, you were in the right.

Posted:
21 May 2007, 23:24
by MarkJ
Originally posted by Bean Counter
but if not take their phone, turn it off and hand it back. Does the trick every time. Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.
That is top! [y]
Can you put the phone in a pint of beer too?

Posted:
22 May 2007, 00:56
by honey lamb
Originally posted by MarkJ
Originally posted by Bean Counter
but if not take their phone, turn it off and hand it back. Does the trick every time. Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.
That is top! [y]
Can you put the phone in a pint of beer too?
Why waste good beer?

Posted:
22 May 2007, 01:07
by Scrooge
Originally posted by MarkJ
Originally posted by Bean Counter
but if not take their phone, turn it off and hand it back. Does the trick every time. Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.
That is top! [y]
Can you put the phone in a pint of beer too?
Originally posted by honey lamb
Originally posted by MarkJ
Originally posted by Bean Counter
but if not take their phone, turn it off and hand it back. Does the trick every time. Also works for smokers who light up in no smoking areas - just take the ciggy and stub it out for them.
That is top! [y]
Can you put the phone in a pint of beer too?
Why waste good beer?
Let em see, the new Chav drink of choice..Nokia on the rocks.
Let me see..I light up, person takes the cigarette out of my mouth and stubs it out, I light up again, person reaches for it then loses the use of their arm for a few weeks...your right..brilliant [y]
I would seriously only recommend this type of thing if you are 100% sure that either the person isn't going to react...or you can kick their arse.
I have to agree with Alan, I would just tell them to shut the hell up.[:w]

Posted:
22 May 2007, 08:57
by MarkJ
Originally posted by Scrooge
Let me see..I light up, person takes the cigarette out of my mouth and stubs it out, I light up again, person reaches for it then loses the use of their arm for a few weeks...your right..brilliant [y]
Too much agression!!
Maybe you need to have a cigarette to calm down? [:w]

Posted:
22 May 2007, 16:15
by slinky09
On a related topic ... when did it become acceptable to pee while talking on a mobile? I'm noticing this more frequently, and mostly in the US although once in the LHR club house recently ...
As an antidote, I have talken to farting loudly when this happens or letting off one of those pleasurable moans to indicate a really good no. 2 [:I] - any other tips?

Posted:
22 May 2007, 16:26
by GreboDB
A couple of weeks ago, somebody in a cubicle next to me was obviously having an important business conversation (or at least that is the impression they gave). I have to admit to letting rip at a critical point in their discussion to hear them trying to explain to the person at the other end what the noise was. Needless to say I got myself out of there as quick as possible... Not very mature I know but you should have seen the grin on my face as I walked away, strangely enjoyable...
And I have noticed a general increase in toilet talkers and texters.....

Posted:
22 May 2007, 16:30
by Scrooge
Slinky..you are a sick person [y]
Well as we all know you in the UK are years ahead of us here in the US when it comes to mobile phones.
I was standing in a stall at waterloo doing what we men do when I noticed there were a number of men talking to themselves....only after leaving did I notice they had some kind of head set thingy plugged into their ear with a nice blue light...

Posted:
22 May 2007, 19:18
by MarkJ
Originally posted by Scrooge
I was standing in a stall at waterloo doing what we men do when I noticed there were a number of men talking to themselves....only after leaving did I notice they had some kind of head set thingy plugged into their ear with a nice blue light...
They have all been taken over by the Cybermen.[:0]

Posted:
22 May 2007, 21:13
by Bazz
Dave, you need to get out more, I bought my "...head set thingy with the nice blue light..." in the US several years back although not in Vegas, I must admit.
