V-Flyer

Inspired by some of the stories on various threads, thought it might be fun to swap tales of particularly annoying or amusing occurrences whilst hurtling through the air on a plane.

For me:
Annoying - LGW/MCO, PE upper deck. A family of 4 with two children that spent around 3 hours after the dinner service running up and down the isle, screeching and generally making a complete nuisance of themselves. Who would the parents have sued if we had hit clear air turbulence? And, trying to explain to my daughter why she shouldn't join in, whilst the other parents just smiled inanely, imagining that everyone thought the little dears were so adorable. Was slightly surprised the CC didn't actually do anything about it. I was furious!

Funny - many years ago, hitting severe turbulence during the dinner service. A lady across the isle from me hung on to her dinner tray with grim determination, neglecting to take into account that the various foil trays and cups/glasses weren't attached and being utterly amazed as they floated to other parts of the cabin! Also, a few years back, god awful charter flight to somewhere - half the passengers stand up as we're approaching the gate, collecting their over large baggage from the overheads, despite being implored to remain seated until .......Well, they ignored that. And, as we pulled to the gate, and the plane stopped from around walking pace, the breaks were applied rather firmly (deliberate?), and the domino effect was quite something!!! I reckon at least 20 people clambered out of that heap of (err) humanity!

How long have you all got?....

Tinkerbelle wrote:How long have you all got?....

As long as it takes

Hmmm, one comes to mind...

On an empty Thomson flight from PUJ in April, the flight was very empty as it was a return from caribbean back to UK. In their version of "premium" (basically economy!!) there were only about 5 people out of 40 seats. After everyone was asleep, I was the first to wake up. Aprroached by a very odd member of the cabin crew who decided to sit next to me and ask me "do you think I should wake everyone up and give them breakfast?"

Now, I had just woken up, I could barely make a decision if I would like breakfast, let alone make a decision on behalf of everyone! He proceeded to say "I've got some croissants etc, do you think people would prefer ham or egg" very odd!!

How could I forget this one!!

On VS034 returning from ANU. Boarded and found my seat, next to a nice little old lady who was filling out postcards as we (felt it was a little late but each to their own!).

Doors closed and pushed back, then she oddly realised (having written out her cards) that we were moving. She proceeded to call the CC and asked her to post her postcards for her before we took off.

CC explained that it was too late and that the lady would need to post them when back in the UK as we are taxiing out on the runway!

Well....I never could have anticipated the next bit....

Lady - "Well, could you perhaps pass them to that gentleman in the yellow jacket out there" (points a baggage handler on unloading an adjacent flight).

CC - "I'm very sorry madam but the flight has left the terminal now and it would not be possible"

Lady - "but I promised I would post these. Could I see your manager"?

CC - "There really isn't anything we can do, i;m very sorry"

Lady - "well, we'll let your manager decide"

FSM arrives...

CC tries to explain without laughing.

FSM "The CC is correct, it is too late, now we must prepare for take off".

I was enjoying the show! Then she moaned about it for the next 20 minutes!!

I was on a VS flight from JFK and walking the long way to the gate I passed a family walking slowly due to 'gran' who was obvoulsly a bit doddery on her pins. following behind was a chap with a wheelchair which she refused to use. Also walking were the VS CC heading to the plane who soon passed us all !

After boarding, the daughter was then demanding a better seat (i'e upgrade to PE) for 'gran' (and the rest of the clan) because of her bad legs. The CC politly but firmly stated that as she had seen gran walk the entire length of the terminal she can't be that bad. Daughters face was a picture and I could see her muttering that if only gran has used the wheel chair.

Similar incident on a UA flight when an hour or so into an old lady asked again for a better seat as she had just had surgery on her foot. CC simply said - 'madam,the seat next to you, other than your handbag being on it, is empty so plenty of room for you to stetch!

Other incident was in 2001 LHR to SFO, in PE and in the bubble. Was sat next to a CCs mum. Daughter was serving the PE cabin and did the usual menu offering 'beef, chicken or vegetarian coq au vin'. Not one passenger challenged her until she reached mum who said 'whats vegetarian coq au vin dear?'

tontybear wrote:I was on a VS flight from JFK and walking the long way to the gate I passed a family walking slowly due to 'gran' who was obvoulsly a bit doddery on her pins. following behind was a chap with a wheelchair which she refused to use. Also walking were the VS CC heading to the plane who soon passed us all !

After boarding, the daughter was then demanding a better seat (i'e upgrade to PE) for 'gran' (and the rest of the clan) because of her bad legs. The CC politly but firmly stated that as she had seen gran walk the entire length of the terminal she can't be that bad. Daughters face was a picture and I could see her muttering that if only gran has used the wheel chair.

LOL I love the wheelchair bit! I've seen the same thing so many times! Most recently at the Harry Potter ride in Orlando, kid tried it on, running around, then when near the front of the line, parents ushered him into the wheelchair. Staff had none of it and made him queue with everyone else!

Here's one to start:

Taking off from Gatwick a passenger sat in an exit row asked the crew member sat opposite if he could go to the toilet. As we were lining up on the runway he was told to wait until after take-off and then he could use the toilet. Clearly not being used to being told no, he then quickly downed the bottle of water he was drinking and then relieved himself into the bottle in full view and horror to everyone around him. His wife was mortified.

Hope it was a big bottle of water...

Ah, Tinks, I was waiting for some of your stories - you must have so many!

Now, which ones can you tell.......

Tinkerbelle wrote:Here's one to start:

Taking off from Gatwick a passenger sat in an exit row asked the crew member sat opposite if he could go to the toilet. As we were lining up on the runway he was told to wait until after take-off and then he could use the toilet. Clearly not being used to being told no, he then quickly downed the bottle of water he was drinking and then relieved himself into the bottle in full view and horror to everyone around him. His wife was mortified.

That's gross!! Hope his flying miles were docked for that behaviour!!

Well in theory I guess it was public indecency?

Amusing - Flying to Newark last year, the FSM was doing his rounds of the overhead bins about an hour in (whats that all about anyway), spotted my V-Flyer black luggage label, semi-choked, checked his manifest and then introduced himself again before making sure that everything was 'really, really alright'. Unfortunately he couldn't rip out the Odyssey and install V-Port.
Fantastic attentive service for the rest of flight and many visits with the wine holder.
To be fair the guy was doing a great job anyway but I was still chuckling as I reached the empty immigration hall
Moral of the story - keep those luggage labels visible to enjoy the power of V-flyer.

DocRo wrote:Amusing - Flying to Newark last year, the FSM was doing his rounds of the overhead bins about an hour in (whats that all about anyway), spotted my V-Flyer black luggage label, semi-choked, checked his manifest and then introduced himself again before making sure that everything was 'really, really alright'. Unfortunately he couldn't rip out the Odyssey and install V-Port.
Fantastic attentive service for the rest of flight and many visits with the wine holder.
To be fair the guy was doing a great job anyway but I was still chuckling as I reached the empty immigration hall
Moral of the story - keep those luggage labels visible to enjoy the power of V-flyer.

and the same thing worked for me on a BA domestic flight last year so it is not just VS that notice V-Flyer tags!!

Annoying yet satisfying We were onboard the American flight from ORD to MAN awaiting doors to close when a vociferous Liverpudlian female kicked off about her husband and herself not being seated with their friends. It was a blatant attempt at securing seats in Business Class. The Scouse accent is great to listen to but on this occasion was lost on the CC who called for the FSM. I'll call her Gerda the Great! She dismissed the attempt at a move in a strong European Accent in a very forthright manner and said , basically , " Tough ". She noticed an elderly lady with what looked like her grand-daughter. "Would you care to sit in the forward cabin?" she asked. With movements as rapid as Superman, they departed to Business Class leaving the complainant lost for words, amazingly. Nobody cheered out aloud but there was a slight buzz which could only be interpreted as " Great!". The four people concerned were then sat together! Good old Gerda!

DocRo wrote:Moral of the story - keep those luggage labels visible to enjoy the power of V-flyer.

Crying......well, I'd love to, but I can't get my hands on any! I have the little badge thing, does that count!?

Here's hoping Pete posts in the luggage tags thread soon!

Interesting though, does this indicate a real knowledge of V-flyer in the airline industry...perhaps mainly British based airlines?

albertlord wrote:... It was a blatant attempt at securing seats in Business Class. ...The four people concerned were then sat together! Good old Gerda!

So the couple in Business went back to Y?

Now, I love my friends dearly but not THAT dearly !

All four friends were in economy but seated in different areas of the cabin which caused the lady (?) to kick off. The two who were upgraded to allow the four to move together were totally separate from the foursome. No one was bumped down. Apologies for any confusion but I am a Northerner so.......

Mine has to go to the flight we took to crete with Thomas Cook last summer, we'd booked on the night flight because we were after a fairly cheap getaway. What a mistake! It was full of 18-30s types all in t-shirts bearing unsavoury nicknames. We were "treated" to one group of young men parading their feathers in front of a group of young women, and all the lurid details of their various sex lives. Now, I'm no prude, and I'm in my 30s, but there was a family with a small child in the seats in front, and they paid no regard to this in the language they were using. It was fairly horrific and one of the longest nights on a 4 hour flight ever.

Miss G wrote:Mine has to go to the flight we took to crete with Thomas Cook last summer, we'd booked on the night flight because we were after a fairly cheap getaway. What a mistake! It was full of 18-30s types all in t-shirts bearing unsavoury nicknames. We were "treated" to one group of young men parading their feathers in front of a group of young women, and all the lurid details of their various sex lives. Now, I'm no prude, and I'm in my 30s, but there was a family with a small child in the seats in front, and they paid no regard to this in the language they were using. It was fairly horrific and one of the longest nights on a 4 hour flight ever.

I can relate to this, I will never fly with cheap airlines like TCX again, the crew just don't care! Not like VS

I hesitate to bring up children, but really the parents - I enjoy nice, well behaved children in UC, really.

VS18 about a year ago - Saturday - long week of work and a late Friday night to destress, am am tucked up in bed catching up on R&R. A couple of hours later the couple near me decide baby needs to be entertained by being bounced on the suit dividers and encouraged to scream and laugh loudly. Slightly miffed I say something to the lady wife in the order of "Just wanted you to be aware that you've woken me up", she huffs, husband comes over and starts berating me and shouting "your one of those people who probably thinks children should be put in the hold" and more, I resist the temptation to say to him that no, you'd be better bound and gagged in the hold!

I recall a superb story on the BA forum in FT about a rather large, hairy and very smelly German passenger who wouldn't wait for a washroom to change and stood in the middle of the cabin undressing down to his dirty kecks. Had me roaring with laughter, I've seen Colin Farrell do that on a flight from MIA but he's much nice to look at, although he did have smelly feet. Drunk as a lord, but a nice drunk!

I can relate to this, I will never fly with cheap airlines like TCX again, the crew just don't care! Not like VS

Yeah, I don't think we saw any cabin crew at all on the flight - inspite of the number of call buttons being pressed by boozed up idiots! And don't get me started on the seats. It truly was a case of squeeze as many seats as possible in the smallest amount of space possible.

Reminds me...

About three years ago I was travelling on a VS flight back from LAX in Upper. Within a few hours a male PAX sitting on the opposite side of the plane (but in full view) stripped down to his boxers, stood up looking confused at the seat, asked a member of the crew for help to put the seat into sleep mode, and finally hid himself under the duvet.

Perhaps it's just me, but I thought this was more than a tad strange.

Not as bad as a man sat in Upper who after dinner stripped to his tighty-whities in front of everyone and then fell asleep on all fours with his bum sticking out into the aisle for all to see!

Tinkerbelle wrote:Not as bad as a man sat in Upper who after dinner stripped to his tighty-whities in front of everyone and then fell asleep on all fours with his bum sticking out into the aisle for all to see!

There is a joke about a dog just waiting to be told here ..but I shall resist!