#849543 by marshy11
25 Jun 2013, 19:17
We want to fly out to Florida for a Theme Park week followed by a beach week. Our 14 year old could do with a 'mate'. How do you ask another parent if you can borrow their son for a week or two? Am happy to pay for all accommodation/food etc but would appreciate them paying their flight or part of it......how do you broach it (we fly UC).
#849548 by Sealink
25 Jun 2013, 19:25
Pester power.

Give your lad some brochures to share with friend. ;-)

Although that might backfire as the whole other family might want to come along.

It's a minefield isn't it?

Do you think the other family can afford the flight?
If so I would present it as a "most expenses paid" holiday!
#849551 by Neil
25 Jun 2013, 19:31
An interesting one, but I would only consider taking someone I knew very well, and whose parents I knew very well. That being the case, it shouldn't be an issue asking them.

You have to be 100% sure your son gets on brilliantly with the other lad, I've read many a horror story of people taking their childs friends, only for it to be a nightmare for everyone involved.

Have you asked your son if they want a friend to come along? Maybe he would rather spend the holiday with his parents?
#849552 by tontybear
25 Jun 2013, 19:36
marshy11 wrote:We want to fly out to Florida for a Theme Park week followed by a beach week. Our 14 year old could do with a 'mate'. How do you ask another parent if you can borrow their son for a week or two? Am happy to pay for all accommodation/food etc but would appreciate them paying their flight or part of it......how do you broach it (we fly UC).


Offering to pay most of the costs will obviously help but try and be realistic on what you can afford to pay and what they can afford as well - UC is obviously a lot of money so maybe ask them to pay the Y fare and you the extra.

It is important not to make them feel pressurised into allowing it or spending money they don't have or that it is somehow their fault if they say no and junior is disapointed - you don't want to cause a intra family rift do you?

BTW you will need a properly written letter from the other family allowing you to take their beloved offspring out of the country and giving you power of attorney to act in an emergency. This does not need to be written by a solicitor but needs to be more than a note scribbled on the back of a till receipt. Both parents should sign it and give their contact numbers etc.
#849569 by honey lamb
25 Jun 2013, 21:21
Have you asked your son about this? As a widowed mum of a young son I was faced with that dilemma when he was that age and seriously considered taking a mate along. I weighed up the pros and cons. For: he would have company his own age; they got on well together and had similar interests; I liked his friend and I got on well with him and his parents. Against: the friend could possibly homesick; having responsibility for another person's child for a couple of weeks is a huge responsibility especially if there was an accident; most importantly of all, my son didn't want it! I was most surprised at the latter but he really didn't want to share his mum with anyone else. No-one was more surprised than me at this because in no way was our relationship a co-dependent one and, quite frankly, I would have welcomed a pal for him to go off with to give me "Me time" but, no, he treasured that time when we were a family with no external intrusions.

OK, so we had the almost mandatory row, but on one occasion when it had happened early in the holiday his attitude was, "OK, we've had the row, so now can we get on and enjoy the holiday?" And we did! I know it's not easy having an only child but you really can enjoy being just the three of you.
#849584 by pjh
25 Jun 2013, 22:55
There's also the question of whether your son might find it just as much fun to be at the back of the bus with his mate than up front with the parents, which may mitigate some of the cost issues. When #1 son flew to the US with his mates a few years back a relative in the industry said he could swing an upgrade, but just for #1. The offer was declined (with thanks) as being with mates outweighed the upgrade.
#849590 by DragonLady
25 Jun 2013, 23:29
pjh wrote:There's also the question of whether your son might find it just as much fun to be at the back of the bus with his mate than up front with the parents, which may mitigate some of the cost issues. When #1 son flew to the US with his mates a few years back a relative in the industry said he could swing an upgrade, but just for #1. The offer was declined (with thanks) as being with mates outweighed the upgrade.


Indeed -We took Dragonbaby's best friend with us to the West coast four years ago after their GCSEs ( she too is an only child so has hated some holidays with us as she's had little company her own age). The deal was as folllows -we covered accommodation and all her food and she covered the flight. Dragonbaby magnanomously decided to travel with BF down the back as she knew BF couldn't afford UC ( an offer to upgrade at check in to PE was declined by BF much to DB's horror as it would mean less spending money :0) . BF was overwhelmed with the CH/ treatments/jacuzzi and couldn't have cared less about the 11+ hrs in Y to LA ( unlike DB ): !) Dragonbaby had a large reality check which did her no harm (she'd become pretty blase about travelling in comfort with lounge access etc ..) :) .
Travelling with somebody else's child is a big responsibility ( BF didn't hit 16 until the end of the summer) and as Tonty has said we needed to travel with the authorising parental letter.
We all had a great time and BF was an absolute delight :D .BF decreed that LA and Vegas coupled with theme parks ( Six Flags and Disneyland), Californian Beaches and a drive to Arizona for the Grand Canyon and shopping +++ was awesome, and the best holiday of her life :D :D.
DL
#849600 by Jacki
26 Jun 2013, 04:47
We did this a lot and like DL the kids usually had their own party in Y with the friends, having enjoyed the CH.
Just be honest about what you are happy to pay for and what you expect the parents to pay for from the start and you should have a great time. We would pay for day trips, meals out etc but also made sure they had the same amount of personal spending money as that can be tricky.
#849605 by marshy11
26 Jun 2013, 06:41
Wow thanks all, great to see it from all angles.

Food for thought. Thank you.
#849612 by gfonk
26 Jun 2013, 09:04
Interesting topic.
Spent most of our time at breakfast this morning talking about this.
Me and the missus both agreed that the kids travelling in EC or perhaps PE would be good for them, ie being away from the "olds" lol
however if they were younger than teenagers perhaps travelling in UC would be better?
as to addressing the cost issue with the other childs parents, I had a situation not too dissimilar to this many years ago when my then gf wanted to come to NYC with me. I discreetly left a VH brochure on her parents coffee table and circled a few hotels lol. They paid for the flight and a bit towards accomodation and I paid everything else.
Virgin Atlantic

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