This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
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I arrived at LHR via HEX at 8:55am for my 11am departure to SFO. Do any other honourable members of V-Flyer prefer, as do I, to take HEX to LHR vs. the motorway crapshoot of the Virgin-provided car service?
I would say the car service is most certainly my least-utilized UC benefit...I just appreciate the planned 15-minute journey of HEX vs. the possibility of long delays because the main motorway has construction ongoing, or, in the city, an entire block or two are closed off while the latest Al-Quaeda cell is rousted out of their hideaway.
But I digress...
After the pleasure of riding a lift from HEX arrival level to the check-in desk level that was obviously a New Labour scheme for providing free, therapeutic heat to the old and infirm, I arrived a bit sweaty at check-in at 9am exactly.
There were 11 people in front of me, each of whom apparently had some kind of issue -- 'Yes, I know it says seat 5K, but I was wondering if you could instead put me in 2A and hang Belgian lace in the window, as well since I cannot fly without Belgian lace present. And if there is a single peanut on the plane I shall die. And, by the way, I have a moggy named Sergeant Major Pickles in my bag and I want to bring her aboard.' You know, that kind of thing.
After finally making it to the head of the line, I was halted by the Securicor representative who challenged me with the usual questions ('What is the capital of Latvia?' 'How many jags does Prescott really own?' 'If an Islington public school lad has 5 pounds in his pocket and he buys a Cadbury Fruit & Nut at 1 pound 50, how much money will he have after he becomes a people's peer?')
Finally past this rigorous link in the chain of Britain's national security, I was welcomed by a very apologetic desk clerk ('So sorry for the long wait, sir'). My check-in took all of 3 minutes and then i was on my way to Fast Track security which took 7 minutes to navigate.
Though somewhat enticed by the siren call of the duty free shops as nothing truly enticed -- the Paul Smith jumper I'd seen at Selfridge's was not here (and at 189 quid on Oxford Street I was only buying it duty free) nor was the jumper I'd seen at Pringle but that had not been in my size in the city (Only XXL at duty free -- too big for me!). Thomas Pink's shirts were too sedate in their patterning (give me boldness, Thomas!) And as you can now get all the HP sauce and pickle off the internet you'll ever need, I did not buy any of that, either.
Arriving at the lounge, I can safely report (as have others) that it is looking pretty cool. Virgin are definitely going for that whole 'mid-century modern' thing, and I have to say the color of marble on the new grand stairs is truly wonderful. A leather stair rail?!? Is that practical? Will it not look like a cat scratch pad in no time? Will a bootblack polish it every morning? Do I have to take the lift if I am a vegetarian?
I was waited on immediately after sitting at table #9, where I ordered two bacon rolls and a Bloody Mary (I planned to stay awake all day on this flight, so might as well be drunk if I'm going to be awake, i always say). Bacon rolls were served quickly with a smile and were big...or rather, big and bready!
I did not eat them all, but instead combined all the bacon from both rolls into one half of one of them and had a right proper porker, smothered with HP! I was grinning foolishly.
Followed this up with a cuppa and then waited to be called for boarding. I did not even try for a treatment because I really hoped to be chosen in flight for a massage.
Boarding was announced at 12 minutes after 10am, so I abandoned my tea
and made the short hike to gate 23. There was no special line for UC either outside the gate (though there was a sign indicating there should have been a priority line) or in the boarding room itself.
They called Upper Class and all types of classes got on (a Ken Livingstone dream, perhaps?). I saw PEs and even a few Y pax onboard when I made my way up the stairs to my favorite seat in all of aviation: 3K. Maybe they were AU?
I ordered up a Bucks Fizz and -- hooray! -- I got my Carlos!!! [:)]. Seeing that the two blokes in 1A and 1K had stowed bags on the shelf in front of them, I quietly mentioned to them that they might have to move them due to safety measures and they thanked me but said they'd try their luck -- and in about 20 seconds the lady came thru and told them to put their things in the stairtop wardrobe (told ya so, lads...).
The upper deck UC had several young kids again, one of whom managed to have his seat going in 20 different directions at once with every table down, the screen out and the reading lamp on. [:(] Thank god I don't try to sleep on this flight!
NON-PC ALERT: I know this has been discussed previously in previous threads, but I will say it anyway: I really wish Virgin would put children down in the main floor section and leave the top deck for sleepers or people who just note to VS that they would prefer a more business-friendly environment. For example, the kid in 4K kept opening and slamming her dining table before take-off...opening and slamming, opening and slamming, opening and slamming...argh!!!
But by far the good news in the midst of all this pre-pubescent yobbery was the realization that we had BANGERS AND MASH on the menu! Hooray! [:)]
Since this menu has already been reported (and slated) by so many of you, I will merely note for the sake of the historical record that we were also presented with options for lobster/crayfish salad and organic veg soup for starters, lemongrass and ginger chicken, a pearl barley risotto and my beloved bangers and mash as mains. The cheese plate included farmhouse cheddar, cashel blue and bougnon goat's cheeses and for sweets we had passion fruit tart and sticky toffee pud.
Smaller bites were steamed dim sum w/ sweet chili dip, fish and chips and a red onion and cheese tartlet. Tea choices were a sandwich selection of cheese and onion, egg mayo and tomato, and a chicken and veg, there was in addition a warm sultana scone with clotted cream and jam and a cake stand with various choices.
The captain crackled across on the tannoy and made some humorous announcements, but also delivered some bad news: we were going to be airborne no earlier than 35 mins after our scheduled 11am departure time due to ground control delays. LHR is Delaysville these days, it seems. [:(] Has anyone on here had an ontime LHR departure in recent memory?
We pushed back at 11:13am and taxied to what seemed to be Southend-on-Sea...all the while the merry moppets were adjusting their seats so there was a cacaphony of turning gears and squealing hydraulics (UCS seats are loud!) I could only think to myself: 'I'm so glad I spent all that money to have this relaxing experience...'
We were wheels up (WU) on V-FAB at precisely 11:38am.
IFBT came by at WU+12 minutes with amenity kit and treatment requests. I chose the upper back massage. Tearing into my kit with the glee of a child on Christmas morning who wants nothing in the world but a new pair of footy boots and a pair of Ozwald Boateng cufflinks, i found that my amenity kit gift was...a small mirror.
Kind of an odd bob, really, and since I do not apply lipstick or sniff cocaine I don't know what to do with it. But perhaps if I am ever lost in Harvey Nichols I can use it to signal a rescue!
Immediately afterward, I was asked for my dinner request...I ordered the lobster and crayfish salad and -- in your heart, you know I'm right -- the bangers and mash, as well as the sticky toffee pud. I requested the Pouilly Fuse to drink, just so I could say the words and sound all poncey.
Once V:Port kicked up at about WU+34 minutes, I elected to watch 'The Downfall' as I had enjoyed it previously AND had just returned from a visit to Berlin the day before this flight. It's an amazing film -- brilliantly acted and disturbing.
The salad was crisp and delicious -- the fish thereon was quite firm and flavorful. The bangers and mash were just fine -- if you want bangers and mash. It's never going to be chateaubriand avec sauce Bearnaise...it's just good old pub grub and warms the heart :-). Although I fully understand the argument that this kind of choice does not exactly impress when confronted with some of, say, Singapore's culinary choices. The pud was the BEST, however! Quite good.
Watched Little Britain's entire first series and had the unnatural urge to go walking through Y wearing some Arsenal kit and announce, 'I'm a lay-dee' but they were probably already having a tough enough time in those small seats so i decided not to inflict said torture.
At WU+ 6 hours, ice cream was served -- chocolate fudge brownie from Ben and Jerry's. For those of you seeking maximum detail in your trip reports, I can reveal it had cream, sugar, guar gum and carrageenan among its numerous ingredients.
Unfortunately, two negative experiences now followed in quick succession. First, I had to ask for coffee twice (oh, boo hoo, you say...but it's still a bother) and most bothersome I overheard the lady in 2A return from her IFBT treatment and tell her husband in 2K that she'd arranged for the lady to come up and get him in 5
minutes and that's exactly what happened...so much for random choice. Very uncool, and I was convinced that I would not get my massage! :-(
After Little Britain, I watched some Father Ted -- love the 'over-75 indoor football tournament' episode! Then I tried to start the map but it stayed stuck on 'please wait' even after several attempts.
Approximately WU+8 hours into the flight I was asked if I 'wanted anything else before we landed' as opposed to being offered 'afternoon tea' as I had been on previous UCS flights. I wondered if I'd somehow missed their tea offering. I went ahead and ordered the dim sum and a cuppa which was quickly served and reasonably tasty.
Thirty minutes before landing, the IFBT went up to the guy in 1K and apologized for not being able to provide him with a treatment and presented him with a priority card but she never gave me one. I had to ask the attendant for one -- again sloppy service consistency.
The FA assured me the IFBT would be by with a card for me. But this was not to be the case -- in the end the IFBT had magically disappeared in a puff of aromatherapeautic smoke as we off-loaded and, instead of ending up at the back of the customs queue, I went left the plane and resolved to write to VS and hope to get one from them by mail. [:(!]
We had landed spot on time and customs was a breeze...my bag was third on the belt and away I went to cath my connecting flight home to Seattle via Alaska Airlines.
All in all, I would rank this as a 'decent' trip...nowhere near as well-executed as the VS020 flight over to Blighty. I hate to say this (really, i do...), but given some of the service cock-ups on this flight, I will seriously consider giving British a try since they travel direct to/from Seattle but I will use some VS miles later this year for my annual Christmas shopping trip to London and give Virgin another chance.
Happy flying and thanks for reading my trip report!
BD