I know we've all had trips we'd rather not have had, but now I can look back at a few and grin. Can you? Why not share?
After all, if yours is worse, we'll say, 'Oh, xxxxx had it lots worse, I can survive,' and if ours is worse, xxxxx will grin in thanks they didn't suffer it.
When I'm on a flight which is headed south fast, and I don't mean towards Antarctica, for an instant 'this isn't the worst I've been on' do I remember the landing in HNL where the pilot decided to hammer the wheels into the cabin with the first bounce, we bungeed into the air like a porpoise, and then hit so hard the second time the masks dropped? Then we all waited for the reverse thrust to kick in, which didn't. We finally stopped and took forever to taxi in, and there was NO way that pilot was opening the door once the blocks were set. We deplaned on the stand, and one person stated he was in the mood to tour the USS Arizona, as he'd already been shot down for the day. No.
Do I remember the interminable charter flight from Gatwick, where I thought we'd never arrive at LAX? Plane delayed by a strike in Spain, arrives 10 hours late, takes off, and someone miscalculated the fuel. We landed at Gander instead of JFK, then took back off. But whoops! No carts had been loaded. No food, no drink... then the pilot came on again and stated now we needed to land at LAS for fuel. Finally arrived at LAX after midnight, when the food service had stopped right on the tick of 12. (This was a very loong time ago, and the airline in question is now defunct... wonder why?) I was so thirsty I spent the next hour hovering over a warm-water fountain and guzzling up whatever it served. I was in the air for PHX the next morning, then 3 days later, DTW. I was so jet-lagged I didn't know what week it was! [|)] What an end to my gap summer in Europe! But that's not what I remember either.
No, when I remember a trip I know has to take the cake for 'worst and still humorous now' it was on HP. PHX-LAX, I had just finished 6 months as a contractor for AMEX Platinum, and I was spending my $$$ on a much-needed vacation. First, off to see the Mouse before leaving for LHR.
Plane takes off, and before the wheels are stowed a small girl in the center bulkhead seat before me starts to complain. I was on the left aisle, behind the mother, so I had a ring-side seat as the complaints turned into wails. Into screams. Into hold-your-seat cries of fury.
The pax in FC started looking back at her. The pax in the cheaps started to glare at the parents. The F/As tried everything, to no avail. The parents had boarded with food, so they tried making her chew to unblock her ears. No good. They gave her fruit juice, milk, and then a Coke.
It was, fortunately, a short flight, or murder might have started to sound good to someof the pax. As the plane descended, the wails were curdling the cockpit door, honest. Then, the pilot mercifully asked the F/As to hit the jump seats, and we all sighed. It was almost over.
No, not yet...
On final, the wails suddenly ceased! You could hear the sighs, cheers, and one pax actually started to clap.
And then... the girl was violently, fire-hose-style, Exorcist-reminiscent, horribly sick! [:0] She hosed her parents, the seats, the bulkhead, and everything else in range. I somehow got my carry-on out from under the seat in front of me, but the man next to me (and his briefcase) were not so lucky.
The smell was horrible, to say the least. Other pax started whooping into sick bags[:$], the F/As were frantically calling ahead and telling someone to provide a cleanup crew, dashing deodorant powder on everything in range, and it was bedlam.
I never deplaned so fast in my life!
But, later, at the House of Mouse, I saw them again. In the line for Small World. After a second thought, I got out of line and waited. Sure enough, as their boat exited the attraction, all the other riders had crammed themselves into the front of the little blue boat! The family of 3 were sitting solitary, and again soaked, in the back.
'If she was airsick, you idjits,' I thought, 'of course she'd get seasick!'[:w]
Fortunately, for me (and everyone else on the flight) they did not go to London two days later...
So no matter how many times I've had a bag go astray, or a flight with surly F/As, or a broken-down rental car (twice! Dodge, the pair, both from Budget LAX - you have been warned!), I can't help but be thankful that I was not the mommy in the aisle seat ahead of me that day!
So, what's YOUR story? Make us laugh, make us cry, but make us think of something else when we're seemingly on the trip Down Under (and I don't mean Australia!)
(and I might mention none of the above problems have happened on VS, hence my ID)
After all, if yours is worse, we'll say, 'Oh, xxxxx had it lots worse, I can survive,' and if ours is worse, xxxxx will grin in thanks they didn't suffer it.
When I'm on a flight which is headed south fast, and I don't mean towards Antarctica, for an instant 'this isn't the worst I've been on' do I remember the landing in HNL where the pilot decided to hammer the wheels into the cabin with the first bounce, we bungeed into the air like a porpoise, and then hit so hard the second time the masks dropped? Then we all waited for the reverse thrust to kick in, which didn't. We finally stopped and took forever to taxi in, and there was NO way that pilot was opening the door once the blocks were set. We deplaned on the stand, and one person stated he was in the mood to tour the USS Arizona, as he'd already been shot down for the day. No.
Do I remember the interminable charter flight from Gatwick, where I thought we'd never arrive at LAX? Plane delayed by a strike in Spain, arrives 10 hours late, takes off, and someone miscalculated the fuel. We landed at Gander instead of JFK, then took back off. But whoops! No carts had been loaded. No food, no drink... then the pilot came on again and stated now we needed to land at LAS for fuel. Finally arrived at LAX after midnight, when the food service had stopped right on the tick of 12. (This was a very loong time ago, and the airline in question is now defunct... wonder why?) I was so thirsty I spent the next hour hovering over a warm-water fountain and guzzling up whatever it served. I was in the air for PHX the next morning, then 3 days later, DTW. I was so jet-lagged I didn't know what week it was! [|)] What an end to my gap summer in Europe! But that's not what I remember either.
No, when I remember a trip I know has to take the cake for 'worst and still humorous now' it was on HP. PHX-LAX, I had just finished 6 months as a contractor for AMEX Platinum, and I was spending my $$$ on a much-needed vacation. First, off to see the Mouse before leaving for LHR.
Plane takes off, and before the wheels are stowed a small girl in the center bulkhead seat before me starts to complain. I was on the left aisle, behind the mother, so I had a ring-side seat as the complaints turned into wails. Into screams. Into hold-your-seat cries of fury.
The pax in FC started looking back at her. The pax in the cheaps started to glare at the parents. The F/As tried everything, to no avail. The parents had boarded with food, so they tried making her chew to unblock her ears. No good. They gave her fruit juice, milk, and then a Coke.
It was, fortunately, a short flight, or murder might have started to sound good to someof the pax. As the plane descended, the wails were curdling the cockpit door, honest. Then, the pilot mercifully asked the F/As to hit the jump seats, and we all sighed. It was almost over.
No, not yet...
On final, the wails suddenly ceased! You could hear the sighs, cheers, and one pax actually started to clap.
And then... the girl was violently, fire-hose-style, Exorcist-reminiscent, horribly sick! [:0] She hosed her parents, the seats, the bulkhead, and everything else in range. I somehow got my carry-on out from under the seat in front of me, but the man next to me (and his briefcase) were not so lucky.
The smell was horrible, to say the least. Other pax started whooping into sick bags[:$], the F/As were frantically calling ahead and telling someone to provide a cleanup crew, dashing deodorant powder on everything in range, and it was bedlam.
I never deplaned so fast in my life!
But, later, at the House of Mouse, I saw them again. In the line for Small World. After a second thought, I got out of line and waited. Sure enough, as their boat exited the attraction, all the other riders had crammed themselves into the front of the little blue boat! The family of 3 were sitting solitary, and again soaked, in the back.
'If she was airsick, you idjits,' I thought, 'of course she'd get seasick!'[:w]
Fortunately, for me (and everyone else on the flight) they did not go to London two days later...
So no matter how many times I've had a bag go astray, or a flight with surly F/As, or a broken-down rental car (twice! Dodge, the pair, both from Budget LAX - you have been warned!), I can't help but be thankful that I was not the mommy in the aisle seat ahead of me that day!
So, what's YOUR story? Make us laugh, make us cry, but make us think of something else when we're seemingly on the trip Down Under (and I don't mean Australia!)
(and I might mention none of the above problems have happened on VS, hence my ID)
