This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
They were delightful and pointed in the direction of this site. However before we go into the specifics of the flight, let me go back to the time of booking last September. I selected seat 3K - a favourite on a non-snooze zone flight of the A346. For the longest time I was the only person in the UC cabin, Week after week, month after month I had exclusivity in UC. Then one day I logged on to MMB on the VS website. Yes, I was still in 3K but now the configuration was that of a 343. A 343!! Eeek!
No V-Port unless it was G-VSUN and the chances of that were slim to none (unless SRB was on the flight as happened the last time I was on a 343) Ah, well. In passing I must say that though I was in the same seat number I was one row further back than my original booking as the 343 has a row 1K and the 346 doesn’t. 
Quite frankly I wasn’t bothered by that but I was surprised as in the past there have been reports on various posts of aircraft changes on the LGW route especially whereby UC assignments had been lost even though the config of zone A on the 747 is identical in all configurations. Enough of that. I had done OLCI and in the evening I logged on to the excellent Status Updates tool to see which plane was going to bring me home. Omigod! It was G-VSUN!!
I couldn’t believe it and quite frankly, I didn’t until it popped up in the Activity Stream here on V-Flyer. I must have been a very, very good girl to get it twice in a row. 
I had a quick brekkie in the hotel before getting a taxi to the airport. Deposited at the departure area I headed for the VS check-in area in Zone A. Ahead of me was a group of young men with a large amount of luggage with the tell-tale VS tag on the carry-on bags telling them to be at the gate 30 minutes before the flight. OK it was a bit faded but chances were they were going to be on my flight so a bit of power walking got me ahead of them. Next thing was a family complete with a loaded luggage trolley, stroller and toddler in tow. While they might or might not have been on my flight they were certainly heading for Zone A and as I was aware there was a security scan before we got into the check-in area another bit of power-walking was put into play to get ahead of them. I did!
Once through the scan the VS desks were immediately to the left and the UC desk was empty. I was quickly processed, my boarding pass issued and directions to the lounge given - up there with the best! The walk to security and passport control was as I had remembered four years ago. The desks were well manned and I was through in minutes. In the security line I had a bit of a hiccup but one of my own making. All over the place were notices of having liquids of less than 100mls in plastic bags - you all know the form. As I only had hand luggage I hoicked my liquids bag out and at that moment it opened and a jar of moisturiser rolled its merry way through three or four cordonned-off lanes. A friendly security lady retrieved it for me and told me I need not take it out of my bag!! OK! If you say so, but what’s with insisting at every hand’s turn that they should be in the plastic bags? Eventually I arrived at the departures area and more importantly the Duty Free area. A friend had asked if I would bring back some ciggies as over here they are about €9 for twenty. As a non-smoker I felt all kinds of a criminal buying them but as they worked out at €1.34 a pack, who could blame any smoker for looking for bargains. Besides, who was I to cast the first stone? A swift detour to the gin counter was irresistible. B*gger!! There was an offer of a twin pack of Bombay Sapphire which when converted to Euro meant that it was a BOGOF offer and better.
A whole litre of gin free!!! honey lamb heaven!! The problem was that I only had carry-on luggage. 
The solution was to check in the bag for my Aer Lingus flight. 
In the past if you had done OLCI with Aer Lingus, which I had, you could only check and pay for your bag at the airport which is twice the cost of an on-line payment. As it was a Sunday there was no way I could throw myself on the mercy of Aer John (and in any case he was too new in Aer Lingus for me to start asking for favours - the most I get at the moment is the exact loads) The maths told me that it was still a bargain if I had to pay full whack so I, weak creature that I am, wafted my credit card at the check-out counter and fled to the lounge with my treasure trove! This was my first trip to this lounge as in the past it had been the Gulfair lounge. It was larger and overlooked some gates and at that stage was very quiet and totally boring.
The best part was the wi-fi. I logged on to Aer Lingus on my iPad to book bags and, YAY, I could book at on-line rates!! Aer Lingus now allows OLCI 30 days in advance if you have selected seats so it follows that you have to allow flexibility in booking bags. Actually my iPad froze at the payment page but a quick trot over to the PCs soon resolved the issue and my bags were booked through. I did a quick repacking of my bag to accommodate the Bombay Sapphire and as I also had a padlock with me I was good to go. 
Once that was over I had the opportunity to look at the lounge. It was nice and bright with a recessed self-service food area. I didn’t really look as to what was on offer as I had had something to eat before I left the hotel but there seemed to be an inordinate amount of people scattered round the place eating bowls of cereal! It was very quiet at that time of day - well at least it was until a lady arrived, plonked herself on the sofa opposite mine and proceeded to have a long phone conversation at the top of her voice! After about ten minutes of glaring I got more than a little fed up and as it was getting near to boarding time I decided to stroll to the gate. Indeed people had begun to drift off unless they were heading for another airline.
At the gate there was a separate desk for UC passengers. My boarding card was scanned and I was thanked for my continued custom before heading through my third security screening. I had sailed through the first two without any problems but this time the system beeped. This happened the last time I was in Dubai. I fully expected to be ushered into the little cabin next to the arch and patted down by one of the female staff but I was merely asked to take off my shoes and put them through the scanner which I did. The problem was that once they had come through there was nowhere to sit to put them on again as boarding had not yet commenced and the area was full - but not that full as the loads were light. Once more shoon, I managed to find a seat near the door. There seemed to be a lot of toddlers around the place but I consoled myself with the fact that they were in economy or even PE. I watched as the gate agent printed off luggage tags for the strollers and a wheelchair passenger was wheeled to the fore. He was boarded and the call went up for families with small children who gathered at the area for economy passengers but before they were allowed through the call for UC passengers came and the tensa barrier opened for us. Because I had been near the door I was the first one through.
Boarding was through two doors and as I arrived at the door there was no-one there to greet us.
The FSM came rushing up, welcomed me on board and directed me towards my seat. I settled down quickly and was promptly ignored by the crew - indeed I had the distinct impression that they were not ready for us as one guy was rushing up and down the cabin carrying crates of what seemed to drinks and glasses to the bar. At one stage there was a most welcome sound - the “pop”of a champagne cork. Well that was OK then. It’s hard to know what’s what on these early morning flights (although if you have been up since 6am, 10am is hardly early) All I needed now was someone to give me some. The cabin began to fill up and I continued to be ignored (didn’t that happen on my first trip to Dubai?) I was eager to see who was going to be in 2K which I considered to be “my” seat and in the fullness of time a guy turned up carrying a large silver trophy as well as his carry-on and a huge remote controlled racing car. As we say over here, my nose was at me so I asked him about the trophy and he told me that he had been taking part in the Dubai 24 car race and had won. Well that was all right then. He was welcome to “my” seat. I admire endeavour and the hard work it entails. At this stage, some 20 minutes before our scheduled departure time the cabin crew decided to make his presence felt. I had been on board for 25 minutes at this stage.
However, the minute I saw him I recognised him from a previous flight and I knew that whatever had delayed him up till then, I would get good service from him. He asked if he could get me something to drink and I told him that I had heard the champagne cork and it would be a shame to waste it. He agreed and within seconds I was in possession of the said champagne. However no sooner did that happen than the call came for all ground staff to leave the aircraft. 
The doors closed and we pushed back some ten minutes ahead of schedule. I should say that just before that the captain came on to give details of the flight and went on to say that the cabin crew were primarily there for our safety. OK, I know that but why did he have to stress it? Was there something we didn’t know? Fortunately the taxi to the runway was enough for me to finish my champagne although much faster than I would have wished unless there had been a second one on offer. Once in the air the IFE was switched on fairly early although I was quite content to use my iPad for the time being. My delightful cabin crew came round taking drinks orders. On my last VS flight from Dubai we had been served a small snack shortly after take-off and lunch a couple of hours before landing but then the flight had been an hour earlier. Perhaps it was this? Nope! It was a full service with lunch following. OK, a G&T please with a slice of lime.
It was duly delivered and he placed it in front of me with the words “Let me know if it’s too strong” ….....…......... OK, have you all stopped laughing?
Back to the trip report then. The G&T was just perfect - well except for the fact that it had a slice of lemon instead of lime but I was still chuckling away so I let him off lightly. He was along shortly to see if I wanted another one. Well it would be rude to to refuse wouldn’t it? While all this was happening I turned on V-Port and being a bear of little brain watched Puss in Boots which was quite pleasant in an undemanding way. It suited me fine!Lunch was served shortly after. I had potato and leek soup which was absolutely gorgeous followed by braised lamb with dauphinoise potatoes and roasted root vegetables. There always seems to be a lamb dish from DXB which is always delicious and this was no exception.
The FSM came round with the wine. I rather think I chose a French wine. All I know was that it was red and nice. That was my only interaction with the FSM and indeed there was no offer of a top-up. Not that I was worried about that as I had decided this was to be my last drink as I had to drive home in about 12 hours time. For afters I decided on the cheese and biccies and the cabin crew asked if I would like some port. Well I would but I was aware I was driving home in about 12 hours time so now was the time I should call a halt. I probably would have got away with the port but I wasn’t prepared to risk it! Once the meal was over there was no sign of my friendly cabin crew and I surmised he was on his break. I really wanted a cup of coffee and some twenty minutes after I had finished my meal there was no sign of anyone clearing my table.
I’m no Dame Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey so I do have a difficulty in summoning someone to my aid so I strolled down down to the galley to request one. The crew were having their meal when I arrived there and I felt guilty about interrupting them but I really did want/need a cup of coffee. I made my request and the crew who had been up and down the cabin with crates of glasses and drinks during boarding got up to make me one. Anyone who has been educated by nuns will know about the “custody of the eyes” whereby the religious members of the staff walk with their eyes cast down. It is supposed to be that they concentrate on all things religious but, believe me, they see everything. However this guy practised the same thing but whether he saw everything is debatable. I don’t think he saw me. He silently made me a cup of coffee and just as silently handed it to me. As my table still had not been cleared I sat in solitary confinement at the bar to drink my not quite hot but more than lukewarm cup of coffee. I felt deflated. While I was waiting for my coffee I realised the manifest was still pinned to the wall. On the K side there were 3 FC members, one Red and two of us Gold. Why was I bothering to renew Gold for another year? 
Would it have cost too much to just say hello. I didn’t want anyone fawning over me but an hello would have been nice. OK, there might have been a raft of Golds throughout the other cabins and if they were acknowledged then that was fine with me but somehow I doubted it. I stayed at the bar not because I wanted a drink but because I wanted my table cleared but wherever I sat I was being ignored.
Eventually the table was cleared and I returned to my seat. I watched a couple of TV programmes on V-Port, read my iPad and played a few rounds of Who wants to be a Millionaire. Several people had converted their suites to beds and snoozed. I’m sure the crew wished more of us did too. Eventually my cabin crew re-appeared from his rest and asked if I needed something before we landed. I asked for and received a cup of tea. I can’t honestly remember if I ate anything but I think not. At last it was time for landing. The IFE was switched off and headsets were collected. The Change for Children video was shown but once it was finished someone forgot to switch off the IFE and the map was there for everyone to see. We had arrived ahead of schedule but as the IFE showed we went round and around and around LHR until we landed from the west, the normal landing on EI.
Once on the ground we were disembarking from door L2. There was a cabin crew from either PE or Y who was holding back the passengers from the back of the bus and looking like he wanted to be anywhere than where he was. There was more life in a Madame Tussauds waxwork! At the door there was no-one to say goodbye and thank us for flying VS. I was truly surprised and shocked at that. FFS even Ryanair and EasyJet do that but for VS not to do that for their premium passengers.....!
The FSM hopped back in shortly after I left. Too late darling, too late!! From there I hopped over to T1 and my EI flight. There was a minor hiccup when I tried to check in my bag because I had done OLCI before I had booked in my bag but it was quickly resolved. The rest of the flight was bog standard minus a G&T and soon I was home for a restorative G&T!!
So, my VS flight. The ground experience was excellent; the lounge OK but I wasn’t expecting the CH so it was fine. The flight? Dreadful!! If it hadn’t been for the guy who had been looking after me for the most of the flight it would have been marked down much lower but I still have to say it was the worst UC flight I have taken and the fact that it was a day flight makes it worse
(not to mention the "not too strong" G&T 
