This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
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Not such a glowing report of the outbound and proof positive of my theory that VA are either perfection or crud with no in between this past few years, sorry and all that.
Got myself a Towncar to the airport from RPH after an enjoyable if not slightly tentative solo holiday.
Arrived at the check-in and could not find the UC desk ( wasnt in the same place as my last trip ) asked the very pretty lady in VA uniform stood at the PE entrance if she could point me to UC desk, "1st Class you mean?" no Virgin Upper Class, 1st Class sir?! erm no ma'am UPPER CLASS with VA! She shurugged her shoulders and pointed at the sign with Upper Class on it deirectly in front of her and to my right, I couldnt see it as I was stood slightly away and it was obscured by the big metal suitcase structure and cage. I just though that was wierd.
Anyway checked in and told Hotlips which they confirmed was a refit. So I got to sample a before and after on this trip.
Off I went to look at the shops but not much caught my eye so decided to go through security. Frisked twice again but it was not unpleasurable
. One of my ( drops label ) bags did not come through and I was stopped on the other side, I had been a complete plonka and left a mini bottle of water in there fromn the hotel, after my profuse apologies my bag was rescanned and I toddled off rather red faced to the terminal train, I noticed it was mysteriously empty on the train, heard the beep beep beep door closing noise and realised I was on the wron one, loud exclamation of "oh bugger" I managed to hop through the closing doors and leg it to the correct train. I had it all worked out what to do but the water in my bag totally threw me and I had gone towards the gate 100+ train instead of 1- 99.I was eyed up by a very camp good looking bloke who said to his female friend **** I so would like that belt, she glanced and said "probably fake" Great thinks me that was worth it wasnt it lol ( notice didnt mention label ).
Off I go to The Crowne room with said pretty man eyeing me up still ( two weeks without my partner abroad and I get someone fit eyeing me up in departures, typical
).Crowne room was busy and I realised being alone with lots of stuff to carry is a bit of a pain when you want to use the toilet or get up and get a drink, I think I sampled about 6 different seats because whenever I left one it was soon taken up by someone else. Nibbles were nice, didnt drink booze as had migrain from hell the day before and wanted to keep it at bay.
I went down to the gate about an hour before departure forgetting there was an hour delay due to them swapping planes
( why do they do that when they are still flying the same route? interested to know the logistics reason for it ).
Boarded no problem, PE PAX seemed more keen to board than UCS, I guess they must want to make sure they get what they paid extra for which is fair enough I suppose.
I got on the plane and for some reason became Mr invisible, not offered any bubbly or any hello as everyone else did, what have I done though I. Put my bags up ( no label
)sat down and sat down, suite looked clean and looked forward to trying the IFE. Drinks were offered again to everyone.....but not me 
, this time I loudly said "is anyone going to offer me one?", no apology but given a bucks fizz.A very pretty but wierdly dizzy CC threw a sleep suite on my feet and gimmaced at my Teddy companion, clearly on the way out he was a cool Prada bear but on the way home was pretty lame, each to their own my bear travels on every flight
.Asked to fasten seat belt then she comes back again and rather angrily I thought asked me to stow my PJs and amenity kit off the ottoman, so seat belt off again to stow stuff which I am sorry but my thoughts were I didnt put it there they did!
I was then asked if I wanted duty free and ~I said oh yes please "what do you want, because if you havent got cash you might not get it" OKay said I thinking well you came and asked me if I wanted anything
.I was in 7a and wirdly was last to be offered food, Pradabear was glanced at with a tut at the time. Food was kind of slapped on my table no smiles from any of the CCs, I seriously was beginning to wonder if I had inadvertantly got a JS mask on or was a double of some serial killer or Gordon Brown, my attempts to be super polite and thankful for everything they were doing appeared to have no effect whatsoever
I decide its time to sleep, still attempting to keep the day befores migrain at bay, I stow my table do all the right things and press my button and the chair starts to bediffy itself untill, creeeeeek it stops. Says table not stowed, eventually after being told they would have done it for me and they would probably have to break it now, they turned the electric off and two CCs pushing it the rest of the way down I had my bed. I thanked them with my cutest smile and asked if I could order breakfast for later, firmly informed they hadn't started that yet, I did half heartedly protest I might be asleep and didnt want to pester them later, but to no avail.
I had noticed on this flight that no one was actually offered any guidence on turning the suite in to a bed and several Americans were sleeping on the chair just reclined with quilt and cushions etc and pretty sure they would have liked a bed.
I had five hours sleep and was so pleased my headache still seemed to be in regression, went to the loo to change and freshen up, now I must apologise to the PE pax because after a 15 minute wait outside the toilet I was silently cursing them for hogging them, only for me to silently feel like a proper pratt for thinking that way when a CC emerged from each one. As they did I asked if I had missed ordering breakfast, without looking at me I just got a "No we havnt started yet"
Eventually ( again after everyone else" I was asked what I wanted, full english please. I was presented with my breakfast without knife or fork and not offered tea coffee or juice. I asked for Tea and juice and perhaps some tomato sauce, 15 mins later tea and juice arrives, "sauce?" says I tentatively. The sauce arrives sadly bouncing off the divider of the suite then the table and then my new jeans and jumper, nice, it kind of slipped out of the
dizzy CCs hand and spun around flicking tommy sauce as it went. I will get you a wet cloth she says, ok says I thank you these things happen. She hands me a cloth not damp but completely sodden with warm water, so now I look like I pissed myself as well as red sauce up my arms and down my crotch, just great, then I clean up the suite. I start to attempt to eat my breakfast which as you would expect was stone cold by now, I just put what was left of the sauce on the plate and gave up.Now I dont for one minute think the CC looking after me ( or not as the case was ) was a bad person, she was a bit ditsy and dizzy but I think it was a case of her being asked to do far too much on her own far too quickly and it got to the point that the PAX became less of a priority than the tasks involved in serving them, it truly looked like someone deliberately thrown in the deep end by her workmates.
If this were my first flight with VA it would seriously have been my last because all told that round trip was £3200 out of my hard earned, its not a standard for me to fly UCS its a massive treat and something I look forwards to, I dont think UCS pax are better than anyone else but I think for £3K the whole cabin could have been made to feel a bit appreciated.
By all means get the job done VA as quick and efficiently as you like but please please dont let that be a bigger priority than the PAX
Flight out: True old style VA excellence
Inbound: Getting to be the norm, get em in get em fed get em out!
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It got sorted at LHR but in my letter to Crawley, I identified areas that perhaps had training issues and received a very positive response.
and this...
