This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
Drive to the airport was at the courtesy of Addison Lee this time around given my recent falling out with Tristar (don't ask
) That being said there is no contest, if VS want to make a deal with my new employer and send a CDC every time I would welcome it, Add Lee is just not the same. Anyways with a car smelling of ciggy smoke and slightly troubling techno music we were beetling off towards Heathrow. Now at this point I had not heard about the earlier fire and other diversions as my morning had been kept busy enough… In hindsight though I would be thinking, wow fun ahead Arriving at the airport in very good time for the flight, it was my intention to try for one of those ever illustrious G fares and a bump into UC. Success 
I had arrived 6 hours before take off in order to guarantee my upgrade as i was not in the mood to fly at the back of the plane, but the wait at the airport will be well spent in the CH. It is definitely a place that I could live had I the guts to walk around in a bath robe and slippers. Line sorter and staff at the check-in desks were amazingly friendly and very much in the know about the delays and eager to help out those pax that looked a bit lost. First off I was approached and directed to the ticketing desk, then back to a check in desk, then back to ticketing
a bit of a back and forth act but eventually UC boarding pass secured and bag checked in 
Wandered the extremely tiresome 5 paces to the lift that carried me to the UC wing, and with a beep of the BP reader was through to the private security channel. It is a good thing that the desk with the border officer checking boarding passes and playing angry birds is gone, was pretty much a waste of space and with pass scanned at the checkpoint, bags cleared (and checked for explosives) I fought my way through those poor souls desperately searching for an escape from Duty Free. Seeing the tired and exacerbated looks in some peoples' eyes was a kick of nostalgia of myself once upon a time, they had clearly wandered in circles in an attempt to escape the lure of 2 for 1 beauty products and 30% off all whiskies (I was restrained with only a single bottle finding its way into my hand luggage 
Arrived at the CH and with a very healthy 5 1/2 hours in here I opted to start writing this TR (blame those that asked for one
) First port of call was the bar, naturally, and I raise a glass to all V-Flyers out there, first glass of whiskey consumed, onto the brasserie for a few bites to eat and actually decided to make my way through the tapas menu.. well I can conclude that the fried whitebait, the cured meats, the caesar salad, the cheese on toast, the chunky chips, the ham hock, the chicken wings and the sausage and mash served in a mini saucepan are all edible Don't worry not all in one sitting.. The sausage and mash is the only one I would criticise actually, as to which lunatic thought it a good idea to serve them in such a manner that makes eating it tricky is beyond me - opted for a side plate to pour it on to in the end. Whilst seated at the brasserie bar on BBC News and posting messages on V-Flyer a gent wandered in after evidently a very merry morning, flashed his boarding pass at staff around the entrance, not just those at the podium and then walked into the tree….. that tree will be the death of us all and really should be moved
Speaking on the tapas choices, I think they are a good addition to the menu given the height of some of the tables, service wise. Definitely a good call and even though I am told they will be changing the menu again in a month or so, I do hope that they will keep the food selections fresh and different.
Next port of call was the library to get some work done, funnily enough I did not stay very long as wi-fi was non existent and the staff kept coming in to have a chat with each other, use the photocopier or shredder then disappear again without any actual service being offered - shame. It was on exiting the library that I was ambushed by the ever favourite 'FC executive' and she has backup… agh, there are two of them!! Just a general chat about things this time around and brought up the lack of reward flights in order to actually spend my bank of miles… a common complaint apparently, lets hope something is done about it. Retired to the jazz corridor for a bit and with Clubhouse burger and banoffee pie enjoyed, the remainder of the afternoon passed rather uneventfully.
4pm came around and I was looking forward to hitting the Sky Loft for the amazing Vodka cocktails. Shame the bar tender arrived at 530pm (not that I was timing him
)… they have got to change that sign promoting a 4 till closing window of service - never seen bar tender appear before 5 before, might just be unlucky though. I staggered up the stairs for my Vodka based cocktails - promised Blacky1 I would finish all the booze so just trying to fulfill my word. Le Fizz and several others enjoyed and had a dandy time watching a nutty professor type of individual and his kids play a game of pool through the skylight. I can safely say by the time boarding was called I have tried all areas of the LHR CH and it is easily one of the best in the world in my modest view. For the most part they have the service nailed and the different areas giving continuing enjoyment for even drunks such as myself to wander the room and remain entertained
Delays of about 20mins announced and boarding finally called at 19:23. With Miss England waiting for me at gate 35, I wandered from the bright lights of the LHR CH to the gate, as always a pleasure and great time had.
Trudging through the halls of LHR arrived at the gate to an amusing sea of humanity that were having a bit of trouble with the non existent queuing system, finally PE, UC and AU were called into a separate line much to the tuts and sighs of those true British queuers present
Greeted with fair formality at the doors, directed to my seat and offered the usual, strangely I selected water for the arduous task of stowing my belongings and reclined in my Dream Seat to watch the fun and games unfold... Oh my what is this?? The remains of peanuts hidden behind the IFE and a humbug wedged in the seat, how thoughtful of them
Also ignoring the tray table popping out onto my leg unsolicited will just say boarding and greeting handled well. 267 souls aboard off we go.. Gate to gate IFE working a treat and whilst our dear Miss England was taxiing around LHR, I begun watching Oz The Great and Powerful - yep I am a child at heart. Took off at 20:25 so they were bang on the money with a 20min delay. Usual greeting offered with hot towels and water bottles handed out.
This FSM is a good one, not only did he bring round menus to introduce the service but addressed me by name, welcomed me back and asked if everything was up to scratch and okay for me today.
We had a brief chat about the new suites and he appeared interested in my views.. Some good news on that front in that the 'opaque' side windows through which I currently have a darling view of my neighbour’s bare feet 
are going the way of the dinosaur. To be replaced it seems with a filled out piece of material - according to a crew brief they have passed fire testing and H&S standards, so I hope they will be done in short order 
It also seems they are working on the bed mechanism to make it easier on the flip for the crew, def good news for them although bad for the chiropractors union who will start to see a stiff drop in business from crew if truly fixed Now I am not going to complain about the cabin for layout sake as I knew what I was in for, the same cannot be said for an elderly gentlemen a few rows away who has so far winged and moaned to everyone who will listen (not many to be fair) that the cabin is rubbish and it is terrible that people cannot sit next to each other... His wife appears to have a contrary view
, calmly sitting on the other side of the plane from him ignoring his tirade reading with a smirk on her face .. ha ha, some people have no gratitude for what they get do they? I would also suggest that if they want two seats next to each other in this fashion, PE may very well be more suited to him, perhaps next to the kids that can’t sit still who have invaded the UC cabin a few times thus far. Wonder how he would like that Drink orders taken and yep a JD for me keen viewers
The CC covering my row today recalls me from a previous flight, hopefully a good impression from last time, always a good thing when the crew remember us repeat offenders. Good on him for saying something too and making the welcome and drink order that bit more personable, will be taking up space at the bar chatting to this lot later on, they seem fun.Drinks disappeared, crisps devoured and IFE thoroughly enjoyed, Oz is not a bad film after all.. that may be the whiskey talking
VERA Touch as always is a pleasure to use, although the volume keeps going up and down – I have a feeling that is the seat reacting to my headphones though, forgot my airline adapter and so have to make do with a single headphone jack.. scatter brain I am at times.Food ordered and I opted for the Flaked peat cured salmon to start followed by the beef fillet for the main. Both dishes perfectly palatable and thanks to all the food enjoyed in the CH I will not complain about the portion sizes, ahhh so that is why they give you food that looks like it has come from a doll’s house kitchen
Dessert of a really good chocolate and carmel variety enjoyed and onto the after dinner activities. Given the amount of alcohol currently coursing through my system I thought it best to start with a nice mug of green tea, at the bar.. guess how this story is going to end
I sat at the bar for the remainder of the flight chatting with crew, other pax (and myself). Ignoring the bar top that is dented, scrapped and cracked it is quite a nice place to sit. Conversational topics bounced around from favourite flights, job nonsense, film and current cinema releases and of course a good chat about fellow passengers
I was also graced with descriptions of crews most humerous experiences in the air.... a missing baby that turned up in an overhead bin or a pax defecating in a bed, which would win in your book? With the JD supply completely gone and the Dewars bottle near empty (it wasn't just me) we begun our approach into JFK and final service orders were taken, two of the graze burgers and another cup of tea were a welcome sight for me and with cabin ready for landing we came into a rather humid NYC.
Now the fun begins, I have flown the VS25 before and the last time through the border took a grand old total of 7 minutes, time before that with a night landing flight 8 minutes. This time…... 2 hours!!!
The slight delay out of LHR and the delay of an inbound Jamaica flight lead to a hell of a lot of passengers snaking around that immigration hall and only 4 desks open for visitors!!!! There were 5 open for US citizens and 1 open for diplomats. The queues on both sides were roughly the same and it was only the Diplomatic channel that had a man sitting there playing Tetris or perhaps Hearts on the computer for the entire time
definitely disappointing and had the two lads behind me constantly muttering how ashamed the US CBP should be... Ha ha. I don't think so… Well we have a bored, tired and drunk joeyc trapped in a confined space.. ha ha .. Unsurprisingly, I did get chatting in line to a wide variety of people with all the back and forth and when I had finally cleared the checkpoint (grand total of 30seconds at the desk), bid farewell to my new friends (and of course found my suitcase in a pile at the other end of the baggage hall) I was off to join yet another queue. Customs... Well form handed in, bit of banter with the guard who nervously asked if I had any rum with me no says I, for I am a whiskey man . Smiling CBP guard left behind, I was out to the welcome sight of freedom and yet another line for taxis..... Ha ha, well I had a mate pick me up, but another line to join for some VS025 is a fair flight all in all, gives a good amount of time in the CH, ordinarily arrives at a fair time and had it not been for the delay with the CBP at immigration, I would have been out and in the city in time for some fun and games, unfortunately not this time
For me it was straight out into the arms of my mate and then briskly across the city, as she drives like a psychopath, before more libations and conversations could begin. I do hope this all informs, dear readers, and here is hopping that when next through NYC borders a good time will be had by all with minimal delay, much refreshment and not ending up in a place you would rather not stay - eventful trip
End note… I started writing this TR in the bright lights of the LHR Clubhouse and I finish it in the dimly lit Saw themed room of the 'executive" lounge at the Hilton. Much drama had this trip, although nicely rounded off with lunch and drinks with Blacky1 and his two eldest… I will not name you guys as I know you have changed posting IDs since the emilyb123 and lucieb123 days
- looking forward to your TRs if you can settle who will write one (perhaps one from each of ya???), and also looking forward to the tale of how dear ol' dad has treated you both to UC on the way back too.. Sorry Blacky, couldn't resist 
