This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
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We were booked to fly out in Premium and since Dean is an Gold Gold Card holder we had access to the Clubhouse, VS045 leaves at 2:00pm - and with a choice of sitting around at home or sitting around in the CH with food, drinks, nibbles, games and a spa we opted for the CH.
A taxi picked us up at a friends place in Slough at around 8:30am, Saturday morning so no major rush hour madness - just the usual Heathrow madness around the terminal. The building / demolition work on the car parks and areas is coming on nicely - quite scary to look at it. We passed the relocated Drive-Thru Check-in (though looks like it might be a bit more Drivein-reverse-driveout Checkin now).
Over to the Upper Class Checkin queue - about five or six people in front of us. For some reason some of them seemed to take an age to be processed. One group of three had one guy with some sort of problem, the resolution to which wasn't really speeded up by the fact he insisted on chatting on his mobile throughout. Very rude.
Check-in asked to see Dean's Gold Card to verify. Premier team had put a note on the system about a request for Exit Row seats (H&K Upstairs), Dean mentioned this and yes we were being allocated them asking if we would be able to open the door in an emergency etc.
Through to security. Ye Gads! as Pinky would say. The queue for security was unbelievable - not seen anything like it. It went through the full snake behind the screen and carried on down, pretty much to the end of the terminal! Fortunately for us the UC Checkin clerk had put Fast Track stickers on our Boarding Cards so we only had a few minutes to wait.
Shoes off, undress, walk through the metal detector practically naked without any beeps or additional checks. Pick up stuff and wander around to IRIS to register. I remember reading a TR (think it could have been Mike-Smashing) saying it was located on the other side by the non-fast track security. Wander around there - I discussed the location with the staff asking if it would be more popular if they were by Fast Track - they want to catch as many frequent flyers as possible. Apparently this is the only space BAA would give them.
The staff there were really friendly, helpful and enthusiastic about the system. A couple of quick photos and checking of passports and we were done, a quick test shot to make sure the system recognised us and that our details were correct. Apparently one lady had been in and her passport had her down as Male - she'd had it for ten years without a problem.
Then through to the haven of the Clubhouse. Its getting quite familiar for me now, I am still excited to be there and love every minute of it but you do loose that initial Wow factor ever so slightly. On entering Dean was once again asked for his Gold Card, apparently the week before someone tried to access the lounge with his Gold Card that had expired in 2002! The cheek of some people, and as we were to later find out on the plane some people do have the balls to try these things.
I do like the full English breakfast here, the OJ had bits in it but I just about coped which was quite something. The rest of the morning was spent enjoying the facilities and drinks. A few people were called up to the concierge. I made a joke to Dean about it would be nice if that was us one day.
Dean had pre-booked a hair cut, as a non-UC guest I wasn't about to but managed to get an appointment for the same time as Dean (11am) which was good. Haircut time arrived and we went over to Bumble and Bumble, Dean had a lovely chatty girl cutting his hair and I had a rather grumpy boy cutting mine. But he did a great job - one of the better hair cuts I've had. Though if they had some bleach / dye I would have been tempted by my 'Chicken Hair' (red mohawk) again, but I think I may wait until Tokyo next year for that.
Drinks at the bar and then time for a spot of lunch before boarding - food better here then on board so should take full advantage. I took a note of the CH menu so will post a summary in the CH when I have typed it up. I had my usual Shepard's Pie, as delicious as ever.
It had just been delivered and I took my first bite ...
'Bing bong. Would passenger Dean Morris please make his way to the Concierge desk please'
The tingle and joy of being summoned to The Desk, the anticipation. Off he went and a few moments later returned to me eating my pie with a grin on his face, they had asked him for his 'old boarding card'. Turns out Premium Economy was oversold and they were upgrading their Gold Card holders to Upper to make room. They thought Dean was travelling alone - no purple boarding card for me today. I insisted that he take it, I can always join him at the bar for a drink if it is quiet and having had his Gold Card for two years waiting for a proper op-up I wasn't going to let him turn it down. Though I did contemplate divorce briefly.
Very excited at the free upgrade at last, we enjoyed a few more drinks when M came over to us, she had a purple boarding card with her for me! I told her that I loved her.
A quick trip up to the Garden to see the sights. Some great very pretentious marketing at the bottom of the stairs. A small clear plastic box labelled 'Lost and Found', it was full of a selection of car keys that had been found on the floor around the new Jaguar. Took me a few seconds to work it out, but I did like it. Works in the same way as the BA First advert in Conde Nast Traveller.
The plane was boarding at Gate 32 and we wandered down to the absolute mess of a scrum. No clear sign of a Priority Board lane / queue so I battled my way around to the desk to the nearest VS member of staff to ask if they were boarding UC pax. Apparently they were. It was here that I took inspiration from Mrs D, there was no stopping me. Priority Boarding is a J perk and so I'm going to use it. I don't care of all the Econ passengers are ignoring the requests to move out of the way of the tiny space to get to the gate area. I politely and firmly pushed my way through, I kept thinking 'WWMDD' (What Would Mrs D Do). We got stares and glares and the odd huff of disapproval, well if they would stand in the way what do they expect?
I was sat in 20A and Dean 19K, they were Op-Ups so we weren't going to complain. Not a night flight either so I didn't object to being so close to the bar, infact this can sometimes be useful. We were welcomed aboard with drinks by several of the crew, and then had a short delay until take off. The 1st Officer was ill so we had to wait for a Stand-By 1st Officer, he arrived after about 20mins and then a few last minute checks and we were on our way.
This was my first flight since the introduction of the Scrooge Pack. It was worse then I thought it could be. It had been left on the seats (the crew commented they are too embarrassed to hand them out), it looks very nice until you try and open it and then it becomes quite clear just how cheap and nasty the packaging is. Though the socks are of a better quality that must be said.
Smooth take off, nice climb and the seat-belt sign went off reasonably quickly too. During the initial snack and drink run the IFBT came around with a silver bowl containing additional amenities (Pens, tooth paste / brush, combs, tissues, sewing kits, moisturiser, lip balme) inviting people to help themselves. This looked so cheap and tacky - the individual plastic bags on almost everything just made them look worse.
Even though I'd eaten in the CH there was food on offer so I had to have some. A new Mediterranean inspired menu at the moment, again took a note so will post a summary in the CH when typed up.
I had a Florentine Steak and Choc Mouse - both very tasty infact, really enjoyed them. The wines I couldn't comment on, asked the member of crew for advice.
Me: Hmm, I know nothing about wine what would you recommend?
SCC: Would you prefer Red or White?
Me: I usually go for Red
SCC: I don't really like Red so can't really comment, though the French has been very popular today
Me: If I can tell its Red or White I feel I'm doing well, will go with the majority and try the French then.
I enjoyed it so that's the important thing dealt with.
The rest of the flight went very well, watched The Devil Wears Prada. Good concept, nice twist on a common theme. They lost their way slightly for a bit, but otherwise very enjoyable and some good laughs. Then settled in at the bar for some rather large glasses of Port (Grahams 2000 LBV) and a good gossip with the crew. I never realised the Nigeria flights were so bad! Apparently they have the highest sickness rate of all routes. I didn't realise the security crew had to have with them, and that for one of the routes (may be discontinued now) they crew didn't even leave the plane! Slept on the plane with security guards and then straight back home.
We discussed the new PE seats, being very well received, the Scrooge pack - they hate it and know pax do. The FSM said that every flight report she has filled since their introduction has included complaints about them. Said we think they should go back to the Vie Pencil Case. Brief discussion on the A380 - 'Virgin has cancelled its order' according to the crew member we talked to. Obviously this isn't official and could be hear' say or Chinese whispers but interesting to hear.
While sitting at the bar a call was put out for a Medically Qualified Passenger. This should be called Cabin Crew Bingo. One crew walked past with a nurse, then another appeared 'I've got two Doctors'. Nearly a full house, better luck next time. Someone in PE upstairs didn't feel very well, I think a UC pax allowed them to use their bed for a bit. The crew were saying that people quite often pretend to be unwell to get into a J bed!
While we were sat at the bar we had at least 2 PE and four Econ passengers come up and try and get a drink from the bar. Each time the crew asked 'Where by are you seated? Oh I'm sorry this is for Upper Class passengers only - you need to go and ask in the Galley.' One person was trying so hard to get in they forgot where they were sat. They replied 'Hmmmm, I'm not sure'. I really wouldn't have the balls to try this - its so clearly not for Econ passengers, two curtains and a different cabin / seat are a clue.
We briefly touched on the subject of Births and Deaths onboard - VS has had three births and no deaths. Though some airlines do now have Corpse Closets. Images of Chunk in the freezer in the Goonies came flooding back.
I retired to my seat to scan through X-Men 3 (well scan through to the scenes with Wolverine and the battles). Quite a long flight - 7hrs 51mins and then we were landing into JFK. Bit of a taxi around and a dash from he plane to get into Immigration, about an hours wait this time. They really do need to get a version of IRIS sorted out! Or at least three queues 'American Citizens', 'Visa Waiter Program' and 'All others'.
As in June the bags were already piled up on the luggage belt waiting for collection / theft. We collected ours, through customs and then the Airtrain and MTA to West 14th and 8th to our hotel - The Chelsea Pines Inn.
[y]
Edit: Change to correct date
