This is a Trip Report from the Premium Economy cabin
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Flights seemed terribly expensive - so book an M in coach and use miles to upgrade? Don't mind if I do!
My colleague and I arrived at EWR at about 16:30 and were told that check in wouldn't open until 17:30 so we went off to Chili's at the far end of the terminal to grab a drink and appropriately enough chill. Incidentally, EWR is really confusing at the moment with lots of work going on. It's all too easy to find oneself on an escalator that completely ignores the floor you're trying to get to. Much easier and less frustrating to use the elevators.
On the dot of 17:30 we rocked up at check in where I realised I'd forgotten my Au Card. Rather than pull a DYKWIA I joined the PE line with my colleague - well I say line. It was actually empty so we were seen individually immediately. I toyed with asking for an upgrade for miles but the desk had a printed sign offering paid for upgrades at what seemed to me to be an exorbitant rate (the predictions were for a strong tailwind so a short flight of around 5.5 hours) so I decided against bothering.
As the lady checked me in she asked me if I was an Au to which I replied in the affirmative –at the same time my colleague was asking for the location of the new clubhouse which confused the check in person until my check in person asked “oh so he’s your guest?”. The bags were tagged UC and disappeared onto the belt and my colleague and I made our way to FastTrack security = helped by the little green dots on our BPs. FastTrack was great – straight to the front of the queue, but then it became a melee. Rather than joining a separate security line FastTrack spewed out into the congregating masses that’d just been queuing for ages and had no wish to make way for interlopers.
Eventually, belts off, jackets off, computer out, toiletries left in case in hand luggage where they’ve stayed for around 4 years now, it was through the nude-o-scope (with screen on full public display to show how inoffensive the image was) and off to the elevator to the lounge floor.
Looking to the side one could see the frankly drab looking in comparison BA Galleries but straight ahead beckoned the welcoming portal of the richly warm looking clubhouse. I know it’s pernicious to make comparisons that aren’t easily understood but the thing that struck me was how similar the whole clubhouse felt to DSTRKT in London – one of my favourite restaurants. The vestibule was manned by a polite greeter who checked our BPs and ushered us in. Once inside one is immediately struck by the many angled surfaces and contours. It really felt like a swanky supper club, helped in no small way by the lounge music playing softly in the background.
The Clubhouse itself consists of a central bar area surrounded by various seating arrangements. It’s one several “levels” though no level is more than a foot or so above any other. To the left extended a dining area flanked by working desks for computers. There was no obvious sign of usable computers but the Wi-Fi signal was strong and there were plenty of sockets available by the desks. As soon as we sat down, we were offered drinks by our charming waitron who ensured we never lacked for sustenance. My colleague opted to eat immediately so I went off for a shower. The showers are first come first served and feature a toilet, sink and curtained off shower area with a wooden bench. The curtain is of the clammy plastic variety and suffers from not being on one of those curved rails so as you shower the curtain clings to you. The waterworks were a little complicated to work out as they weren’t labelled and there were no instructions but eventually I was able to enjoy a refreshing shower and then re-join my colleague.
The food menu is more limited than the London Clubhouse with around three starters and five mains (sorry memory failing here). I started with the potted salmon then followed with the Clubhouse burger. Both were the best food I’d had all week. To accompany the salmon I had a nice chardonnay then with the burger a good Shiraz. The wine selection is also a lot more limited than it used to be.
Boarding was called and we strolled to the gate and straight on board. Friendly greeting but as seems to be the VS norm no attempt to use names. To my seat 34C where 34A was already occupied. I settled in and got comfortable. The crewmember looking after the cabin got me a sparkling wine whilst the announcements were made – including the frankly amusing fact that “the crew reserved the right to restrict the amount of alcohol served based upon your consumption not just your behaviour”. I can only assume that this message is not relayed to UC because I’ve never seen alcohol restricted for anything but the most egregious behaviour there.
Shortly after take-off the person in 34A discovered that she couldn’t use her headset as the previous occupant had broken a jack plug off in the socket. No matter, with a load of around 160 pax there were plenty of spare seats in PE (and coach – UC as pretty much full).
I opted not to eat and just had some wine and started to watch Zero Dark Thirty. The seat was comfortable despite what seemed to be an IFE box under it and without anyone sitting next to me I could spread out onto their chair.
The flight passed quickly enough, the crew were attentive throughout and on arriving at LHR we power walked to immigration. The ePassport readers were broken so my colleague went to the normal queue whilst I went through Iris. This only gained me around two minutes and he soon re-joined me at the belt. Disappointingly, our luggage was amongst the last off but hey ho.
The flight was a useful reminder that unless someone else is paying or you have miles to burn, UC is an unnecessary luxury on a short East Coast flight! It’s nice to see that EWR is no longer the ugly duckling of the New York Clubhouses
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) and are not Gold... 
