This is a Trip Report from the Premium Economy cabin
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Are you going to the party? Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?
Salted tea is optional, but we were definitely Boston bound. Flights courtesy of the Virgin Atlantic fare sale (with, praise be, no school holiday blackout period) and hotel courtesy of my 9 months and counting living at the Southampton Hilton during the week.
Were this trip a stick of rock, it would have first stamped all through it. The first time weve ever done anything quite so on a whim (shall we go to Boston for the weekend? Oh, why not); the first time PE both ways; the first time (for a long time) weve not been up at sparrows f*rt to catch a flight; and the first time Ive ever actually parked at Heathrow; the option of the drives of relatives domiciled in the Home Counties now being unavailable.
This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway this is the road to hell
But before we can take advantage of the finest spaces that Parking Express can offer, the M25. Lets face it, that feeling of dread as you come across three lanes of stationary traffic at junction 19 is not a great way to start a holiday and not conducive to lightening a rather fraught atmosphere (more of which anon.). As a road it acts as some kind of weird time thief; there you are thinking youve left loads of time to make the journey and then, wham, two thirds of it gone sat in a queue for no reason other than there are too many cars on the road. And, to add to the pain, its Mark Lamarr on the radio. I suppose there is one upside when suffering all the indignities that Heathrow can foist on you, theres always the thought at least Im not on the M25.
His clothes are loud, but never square, It will make or break him so he's got to buy the best
And, young fellow me lad in the UC check in queue, yes, you in bright orange polo shirt and those shorts that look like youve decided to throw convention to the wind and gone, hell, Ive got boxer shorts on, why bother with another layer?, why do think that outfit goes with a set of lilac colour suitcases? This apparitions effect was made more startling by it being in the confines of what seems to be a set for some future dystopian view of the world (or perhaps Hitler's bunker in 'Downfall'; low ceilings, no natural light, endless questions..all it lacked was the power going on and off a few loose cables emitting sparks. I presume the end will be worth the means, but its pretty grim at the moment.
Anyhow, Mr O'n'L was a clinching moment in starting to defrost the atmosphere that had started to feel chilly when Id enquired as to whether my outfit (Fat Face shirt, Levis, Converse) looked ok. I thought youd be making an effort as were flying Premium was the reply. Mr OnL was firm evidence that theres not always a positive relationship between wallet bulge and style and I was off the hook just a wee bit.
Check in seemed to take an age. The Less Favoured One had insisted on using check in at the airport in addition to using on-line, so we could stand in the Premium queue. A family of 3 were taking an inordinately long time to be processed. We whiled away the time wondering whether the check in agent appreciated having a three year olds feet right by her keyboard, and observing an elderly lady in the UC queue attempt to present one of those huge laundry bags full ofstuffas hand luggage. We were soon up there and through with our assigned seats. In retrospect, and with what was to follow on the aircraft, perhaps I should have tried to move us forward in terms of seats. But no matter for now.
Then into the security line, which actually moved fairly quickly. Shoe fairy avoided by dint of working out that the two lines on the right at the additional passport check were being fed into the shoe screening area, whilst the one line on the left wasnt.
Our offspring say that one family activity they dread is choosing where to eat. The tensions of this activity are only multiplied in an airport. In the blue corner, the queen of tea and cake, to be consumed on the hoof or sat in the main area of the terminal as well be eating on the plane. In the red corner, a man whom fate has denied even a piece of toast thus far that day, and who has a 15% off voucher for Chez Gerard. It only took a bit of a sulk on my part to win the day, and we were seated for white wine and red meat. Not the cheapest eating place on earth, but for three of us for an hour its a refuge from the milling mob outside.
Tension starts to ratchet up a little again as the allotted boarding time comes and goes. One slightly odd thing I noticed; two BA flights to Miami showing as departing at the same time, same flight number, but one with the suffix Y. Whats that about ? Cruise passengers ? Unfortunately those on the Y flight were being told to wait in lounge. Why lounge ? Surely pen would be more appropriate ?
A refresh of the display, and VS011 pops up, boarding Gate 42. Lord, thats some trek to that gate, where were greeted by another search. Im addressed by my first name by the chap doing the search; funnily enough I cant decide whether thats being over familiar, and whether I wouldnt prefer sir.
Then back into wait mode. Its not looking good for an on time departure, for though the aircraft (Silver Lady) is on stand the cabin crew are sat chatting at the gate. To be fair, that doesnt last long and boarding is soon called, though in the end its 45 minutes after scheduled departure that we actually take to the air. No sign of a priority boarding line, but the request for passengers to remain seated until their rows are called is heeded and so progress through the gate and down the jetway is pretty smooth.
Seat 21 D, F and G are to be ours for the flight. To be honest, Im not overly pleased about being in the centre, as I like to have a view. However, there are three of us in the party so I guess it makes sense. I had tried for re-assignment when doing OLCI, but the seat map remained firmly beyond reach. And, of course, theres V-Port to keep me amused in the absence of the majestic sweeping vistas (of the North Atlantic). In that respect I settle pretty quickly on The Magicians and a mix of The Simpsons and Annually Retentive to keep me amused. Were shown the safety video before take off, and once airborne the system is started fairly promptly, but takes a while to complete the boot sequence for all seats.
A bottle of water, PE amenity kit, purple poncho and menu card are all present when we board. Seats are in good condition, though during the flight the cover on the arm that contains the tray table keeps coming adrift.
Offering of orange juice or sparkly stuff starts promptly. This does show one of the flaws of the current offering, in that the cabin crew have to attempt to do this as the Economy class passengers are still making their way through the cabin. Its in sharp and not flattering contrast to the upper deck experience on the LGW/MAN aircraft. Yes, you still get your drink (and refills) but it doesnt feel quite the same. During the flight itself the curtains between the sections are closed, and so some feeling of a separate cabin is maintained. Nor is there the use of the toilets by passengers from the Economy section that I think others have mentioned in TRs
There are a number of announcements from the flight deck but these are indistinct and difficult to hear. Whether this is a result of the strange mist coming out of the main air vents is unclear, but one brave soul mentions the lack of clarity to the cabin crew and the announcements are made again, this time more distinctly. In essence, were going to be late pushing back, with the story changing from this being down to missing passengers to increased air traffic over the bank holiday weekend.
Theres then a bit of jiggery pokery as a family decide that they cant live with the seats theyve been allocated at check in. Parents plus three offspring, aged something like 12, 10 and 5. Theyd been given F and G in row 20, G and H in 22 and, I think F in 23. Seemed sortable to me, parent plus smallest child in 20, elder children in 22 and spare parent in 23. Nope, thats not going to work, and they somehow contrive to arrive at a situation where the parents are sat next to each other in row 23 and all three children are in row 20 (possibly the least optimal outcome) with stern admonitions to the two elder to look after the smallest one. To be fair they do this, one using the techniques of telling her to sush! (sister) or thumping her (brother), and arent actually too much of a distraction, apart from brother using the row of seats as some form of jungle gym (eventually restrained by father) and momentarily reclining his seat during the meal service. Had my thoughts been more together, I guess we could have offered to swap with the children to move them one row back closer to their parents, but at the time all I could foresee was the parents wanting to move forward and our flight time then being spent in close and unappreciated proximity to the toilets. Possibly a little selfish on my part, but Im increasingly coming to see the time spent on flights when on holiday as an integral part of that holiday (rather than a time for sufferance) and therefore engineer seating etc to deliver as pleasant an experience as possible.
Nibblin on sponge cake
One of the reasons for taking the trip was to celebrate (or otherwise) the Less Favoured Ones GCSE results. Celebration was in order, and so what does any parent worth their salt do? Invoke the embarrassment clause of the parental charter, of course. So a little while after the food service was cleared away, one of the crew appeared with the Celebration cake Id ordered, resulting on much daughterly blushing. This also prompted two very nice service touches. First, we were offered a glass of champagne to go with the cake, and then as we were about to disembark the other member of the cabin crew came specifically to speak to the LFO and offer her congratulations. Also a big thanks to the pre-ordering service who didnt insist on the 72 hours rule.
Service throughout was first rate. Even though there were a number of other VS crew as passengers, evidently known to those working the flight, the focus was most definitely on the paying passenger. Both of the crew responsible for the cabin (and I didnt get their names, but I will give VS feedback) worked hard to provide the drink and food services, and did so with a word and a smile for everybody they served.
Food was pretty good, too. Pork, chicken and a mushroom risotto were the main meals, and we sampled one of each. Even the LFO, who usually regards airline food as proof positive of the existence of Beelzebub declared herself satisfied. Thankfully the Lemon Fru puddings on the menu were put on the subs bench in favour of the chocolate version. Pre-dinner drinks (with refill), dinner drink (with refill) and the brandy / baileys option all appeared. At some stage the fruit basket was offered, and about an hour before landing a coffee / tea service appeared with the option of a cookie / Green and Blacks chocolate bar option. Being served the drink in (St*rb*cks tall sized) paper cups meant a reasonable serving; unfortunately the fact the coffee was horrible means its a reasonable serving of something undrinkable (and hence a markdown on the food).
Hot town, summer in the city
Having caught up a few minutes of our late departure during the flight, were about half an hour late into the 95 degree heat of the early evening in Boston. I was almost reluctant for the flight to end, though I could see I was starting to suffer from the claustrophobia that kicks in after a proportion of the flight, where I cant settle on any V-Port offering or a book.
Priority disembarkation for UC was imposed by the cabin crew, and for Premium it was de facto as we essentially blocked the aisles ahead of Economy. Our bags were quick to appear at the carousel, and so we were early in the queue for immigration, where we had an officer who either was exhibiting a crafty line in asking the same question repeatedly to test your answers or was suffering from short term memory loss. Or perhaps it was just the tail end of a long day.
This flight showed the best of VS for me, particularly for the price paid, and was made for all of us by the care and service provided by the cabin crew. Now, wheres the next sale on the VS website ?
Paul
We can get better, because we're not dead yet
