Nervous flyer

Hello everyone!
My husband and I are due to fly to Miami on 19th April on Honeymoon. We are flying Virgin but I am a very nervous flyer! We are flying Premium Economy to Miami and Upper Class back on 3rd May which I guess makes the flight back not as scary
I have flown Virgin once before and been really impressed they are definately our carrier of choice on long journeys. My hubbie always flies with them and we used his air miles to upgrade our tickets.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advise on how to make the 10 hour flight less stressful? Do you think I should tell the cabin crew I am nervous? I don't want to take any pills and I don't want to arrive like a zombie at the other end. I know it sounds silly but what really freaked me out when we flew to Orlando 3 years ago was seeing the map on the screen and seeing that we were literally over the Atlantic in the middle of nowhere and I started worrying what would happen if I or someone else got sick, there would be nowhere to land! I know these are really irrational thoughts but are the cabin crew trained to deal with these sorts of situations?
Also does anyone know if we can pay in advance to use the Clubhouse at LHR before the flight? Do you think as we are going on Honeymoon there is a good chance we may be upgraded on the flight out?
Many thanks, I would appreciate any advise

Hii there, I to am a nervous flyer (yes, the girl who wants to be cabin crew hates flying!) My last long haul flight was also my first, I didn't have to tell the crew due to the panic attackt I was having in front of them! It helps if they know though, they were really good, I didn't fly VS but they've all seen it before. I too got that 'omg, I'm in the middle of nowhere!'

Personally I find what helps is watching the crew, they do that for a job, and fly many times a month, if they look calm I can rationlize that everythings ok because they'd know if something wasn't right.
Also, rescue remedy, helped a little I find and also a hypnosis tract on my iPad, I actually have the fear of flying one Virgin gave me at the fear of flying course but I'm sure any relaxing ones would be fine.

Hope that might help

Hello Sparkle, welcome!

You have already made a great choice by choosing VS! Updrading definitely means you'll be more comfortable. Definitely let the staff know in advance.

A couple of threads below may help.

My ex partner would always take Kalms tablets and a Nintendo DS to zone out, this helps, but different people are affected in different ways.

link to thread

Link to second thread.

Good luck!

Luke

So first of all congratulations!

I am fortunate not to suffer from fear of flying, but often travel with people who are. Just try and convince yourself your fears are multiplied beyond what they should be and reassure yourself that all will be well.

I think my best tip would be look at the cabin crew. They fly a lot. Has it got bumpy? Do you feel worried? Look at the crew. They won't look bothered about the bumps. Did you hear a weird noise? Again, The crew won't be looking around thinking what's that.

Remind yourself you do more statistically dangerous things like driving cars and crossing roads. Distract yourself with a good film. Take a music player, with your favourite music on, maybe if it can, take some favourite films or sitcoms on it. This helps you forget you are on a plane.

There is a fear of flying audio book on the IFE, you might try that, and maybe don't turn on the imap if its something that bothers you.

Good luck overcoming your nerves, I hope it does not spoil the start of your honeymoon!

I would appreciate any advise

Hi Sparkle & welcome y)

Nervous fliers, you're not on your own, which is important to realise, so don't be embarrassed. Yes you should tell the CC.
People have various ways of coping;
Medication is obviously one option and if you are particularly bad should not be ruled out.
VS's Fear of flying course has had rave reviews..
It has been known that many VF's revert to Booze, which shouldn't be encouraged
Don't watch the skymap, try and get sucked into a movie. treat yourself to some decent noise cancelling headphones, so you don't worry about every noise change.

Lounge wise, depends if you are booked through VH, if so MAY be option of purchasing in advance, but you mentioned you had used miles, so this may not be the case. You could try and ask on the day, but expect it to be unlikely..
I wouldn't get you hopes up in any shape or form about upgrades etc being on your honeymoon, they are few and far between and tend to revolve around single fliers/ status/ operational issues..

The PE cabins on non-MCO routes are much nicer IMHO, so the outbound experience should be nice, put your headphones on, a cheeky glass of wine and settle into a good movie...you'll be fine y)

NH

my wife was the worlds worst flyer,she even passed out once hyperventilating during a panic attack. she tried hypnosis which helped, she also went to her doctor and was prescribed beta blockers to stop palpitations and sedatives to clam her down. coupled with some wine she was very chilled !! whiclst you say you dont want to arrive 'dopey' the effects do wear off if you take them ealry on.
I know its no consolation but you are using the safest form of travel on well maintained equipment 'driven' by profesionals. No pilot would get on a plane if he thought it would likely crash. also every modern plane has numerous back up systems.
Cc are well versed in dealing with nervous passnegers and I am sure they will be more than happy to assist in any way.

so try and relax and have a great flight think of what is at the other end,currently the weather here in Fla is gorgeous, by the time you arrive temps will be in the mid 80s !!


and to answer your other questions you cannot buy access to the CH but possibly some nice fellow v flyer might be able to invite you and NO you wont get an upgrade just because it is your honeymoon.

anyway congrats and good luck

Welcome and you've already taken the first step by asking for advice!

I am not a fan of the getting drugged (legal!) or boozed up option but thats not to say you shouldn't have a couple of glasses of wine with your meal or the welcoming glass of cava.

You could make an appointment to see your GP and talk through your concerns with him/her. Not all drugs turn you into a zombie and a mild sedative/relaxant might be an option to have in your handbag 'just in case'.

I think others on here have mentioned a few i-phone Apps for nervous flyers so have a look at some of those too.

Fill up your MP3/Ipod etc with your favourite music and take a couple of your favourite books to get engrossed in. Reading your travel guides for Miami/Florida will also help distract you as it will give you something to look forward too.

Ignore the map as it dosent always show the actual route you are flying - its more a 'we are going in this general direction' that 'we are at X spot'.

As to the lounge if you booked via VH then get hubby to ring them and ask if there are any paid admissions still available. An alternative is the servis air lounge in T3 (about £ 20 each) which whilst not the CH is a less frantic than main departures. You could also consider staying landside for as long as possible rather than going through security and wiating in departures - again it is less frantic and you won't feel so rushed.

Even though it is your honeymoon VS don't generally do upgrades for that sort of thing.

Enjoy your wedding and enjoy your flight and please do come back and let us know how you got on.

Where are you Suzanneme????????????????

Reassurance required please for Sparkle

Have a wonderful wedding day & a very happy honeymoon. We'll be waiting for your TRs y)

R-P

as others have mentioned Virgin do have heir own fear of flying app for the iPhone and a program on the V-Port system.

All crew are trained to a high standard of first aid and each aircraft has enough medical kit on-board to put an ambulance to shame, VS also have a system where they can directly talk to a doctor on the ground at any time if they need to for any reason.

Here I am, Roxy-Popsy!

Hello Sparkle; well done for flying in spite of your feelings about flying, and truly, you will be fine. I hadn't been on a plane for ten years before this year due to a fear of flying, but I did Virgin's Flying Without Fear course in January, and flew to (and from) Orlando in February successfully. I would advise you to ring the Special Assistance number for Virgin before you travel to let them know you're frightened, and that way the crew will know and they usually come and check on you at various points of the flight then, and even offer reassurance from the moment of check-in/bag drop if you need it. If not, tell the cabin crew as you board. I did this flying out to MCO and they were terribly kind, and the first time the seatbelt light went on for (mild) turbulence they came to tell me what was expected and offered lots of reassurance. I really liked having SkyMap to check on where we were, and I used the Virgin FLying Without Fear app (which has great relaxation exercises on!) at odd moments if I felt a bit uncomfortable. Have the free glass of bubbly but don't drink too much as it can make you feel worse. I kept looking at my Florida guidebooks and in the last hours of the flight I felt really excited rather than scared.....it is possible!

I also downloaded the VS Flight Tracker app and looked at it every day to see how many VS planes fly each day, then imagined all the airlines and all their routes also out there, flying perfectly safely every single day. The VS Captain who spoke to us on the course said something like 300-400 planes cross the Atlantic each day (it may even have been each hour, not too clear!) , and once you think about the sheer number of planes making totally unremarkable trips each day, you reset your thought pattern to believe it IS totally, boringly safe. My mantra when I felt nervous was, "It feels a bit weird, but it's totally safe", and that helped me too.

Of course, I did have an experienced V-Flyer also on the same flight who was great fun and very soothing (R-P!), but the crew were great too, and the PE cabin was calm and relaxing in itself.

Have a great trip

Thank you all so much for your kind replies, I am feeling a lot better about flying now and even getting excited!
I do have a bit of a problem with anxiety and have some oxasepam from my docs to take when I get really bad. I have only had to take them a few times but I will put them in my bag so I know they are there just in case. Hubbie will be driving when we get there so that won't be an issue.
I think a lot of the time the anticipation is worse than the actual event for me.
What you all say makes sense and I bet the crew have seen it all before, especially panic attacks, I just don't want to make an idiot of myself.
I will definately tell the crew when I get onboard though and also call the special assistance line as someone recommended and make them aware.

Thank you all again and I look forward to telling you how I got on!

PS - if anyone else is on that flight on 19th April LHR to MIA returning 3rd May MIA to LHR let me know!!

xx

Hi

Just wanted to echo everything everyone has said on here!

I'm a nervous flyer and have only been flying for the past 5 years, but now I've got the hang of it nothing is going to stop me enjoying some fabulous family holidays!

I do have some diazepam but find they space me out on long haul flights - so I take them with me as my security blanket and I know I can have one if I need to!

I also take plenty to occupy me - ipad with books, games etc, nintendo DS with a game I've been waiting to play for ages and my ipod! I also take a puzzle book for take-offs and landings as you're not able to use electronic equipment at this time. You can't do a crossword puzzle and have a panic atack at the same time!

Premium Economy is good and I always feel much happier flying in that class - but we can't always afford that so I like the seats at the back of the Jumbo where they go down from 3 seats to 2 seats. There's a bit more room around you and space to stretch your legs if you need a wander.

All that said - have a great time! Me? I'm flying to Las Vegas tomoorow on VS43!

Mrs D

hi sparkle

i am a current virgin crew member and would like to give you some advice. fist off DONT WORRY! lol have been in the buissness for quite some time now and have never experienced anything to cause alarm! (touches wood!)

please phone our special asistance help line, they are lovely and will assist you, they will even arrange a meet and greet service to escort you through the airport should you wish it (they wont carry you duty free bags!). they will also ensure that you name is in our brief paper work. so that when we have our briefing you will be mentioned and all the crew (more so the premium crew) are aware of you. a crew member will then probably come say hi and check you are ok.

enjoy a few drinks, dutch courage and all that, but dont over do it! aircraft have very dry atmospheres, drink water and lots of it! we give you a bottle in you seat in premium and upper but they are small so buy one in duty free too.

the inflight entertainment has a flying without fear video which is fab and really helps alot of people. the video system isn't turned on till after take off, so it wont help with that. but by the power of youtube here are the links!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNwf_WeYgFI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naTAdMQT ... re=related
this will explane all the noises and show you what is going on in the flight deck (its only a cockpit on boeing aircraft lol)

turbulance is normal! happens on nearly all trans atlantic flights, more so at night. generaly just a few bumps nothing really to worry about. occasionally it can be a bit more than that but again totally fine and normal. on very rare occasions the crew are asked to take their seats should it be likely to get a little rough, this is very rare and i can count on one hand the amount of times this has happened, but if it does look at the crew if we look worried then you can too! it never lasts long and although it feels like the aircraft is moving alot if you were to see it from the outside you wouldn't even notice any turbualnce.

going back to the in flight entertainment if you go into the audio section there is a part called well being, on there are sone audio's to help you relax there is one for fear of flying one to help you sleep even one to stop smoking! my fav is the secret garden (if im a passenger i use it to go to sleep!)

at times you may notice the engines rev up slightly, the noise will change pitch. this is due to the pilots finding a new altitude, sometimes we change altitude to avoid turbulence, or even because of other traffic, sometimes its to catch a good tail wind to help push us along, gets us there quicker and saves fuel (wish i could do that in my car! £1.36 a litre!!! i digress!) a good tail wind is just what we want however this can at times cause a few bumps!

the route you take to miami will depend on the day but normal route is, scotland, south coast of iceland then greenland, making for the labrador coast in canada, then its down the east coast of usa to miami. lots of airport on that route! the other route which is sometimes quicker is landsend, then straight acorss to miami. now it may seem like there is nothing around but half way is the azores, which we could land at should we need to! so not too bad really.

you crew are highly trained and skilled in dealing with anything that could possible happen we have great resourses, such as a team of doctors we can radio in seconds, and as mentioned above almost more kit than an ambulance! we have seen it all and nothing phases us!

if you have any concerns or questions please PM me i will try to reply as soon as pos

I know you are going to have an amazing time. miami is a beautiful place.

john x

Hi John, thanks for posting the video links, really interesting !

Luke

Hi all,
Sorry to bother you all again but I could really do with some more reassurance. It is less than 2 weeks go till our Honeymoon and I have completely cost it panic wise. The thing is with me, I am not just scared of flying I have general anxiety problems as well which I won't bore you with and all this has just culmanated into this massive fear. I didn't say in my initial post but when we actually got married in May last year we had the whole Honeymoon booked but I got myself in such a state that we had to reschedule and the time to go has come around again and I am feeling exactly the same way.
I have called the special assistance line and made them aware and the lady one the phone was really good. The thing is I really feel like cancelling again but I can't let my husband and myself down.
I just picture myself on that plane before takeoff and trying to escape because I am losing it.
I have got some Oxasepam which I am taking at the moment which takes the edge of it but I am worried about taking them on the place as it is a 10 hour flight and for some reason I think I will have a bad reaction to the drug even though I am not at the moment. I am definately going to stay off the alcohol, I am not a big drinker anyway but I know they are a no no with these drugs.
Sorry for going on, this is probably not the right place to post something like this but you guys really reassured me last time and it helps to get it out. Has anyone else been so nervous about flying before that they feel they can't do it.
Also if I am really bad outin Florida and need to come home is it easy to get a flight back?
Appreciate any help x

Hi Sparkle

You are really doing well by letting us V-Flyers give you our opinions & that will help to reaasure you.

If flying was that bad there wouldn't be this forum. I realise from what you say that you are an anxious flyer but is it the fear of the unknown, i.e what the flight will be like that is you concern?

Every time you post on hear, we read your posts & we are willing you onto the plane because, we are a selfish bunch & want you TR!!!

Keep posting & we'll keep reassuring you.

Another train of thought is to keep yourself busy with things that you HAVE to do for your TR eg.

how your journey was to the airport,
did you travel by train or car,
where did you park the car, what bay are you in (trust me, we all forget ),
how the check in procedure is,
where you get refreshments,
once on board & settled, noticing all that is around you, perhaps taking photos out of the window if you have a window seat, so that you can post them here for us to view,
what runway you use, which direction for take off,
how many pax & crew on board - the Captain gives this info out,
what you have to drink & eat,
what films are showing & what you viewed.

I could go on but you get the jist.

Perhaps make yourself a more expansive list to view this experience in every possible light.

Hope this gives you something positive to think about.

All of us V-flyers are right behind you, oh how we wish we were, a total V-flyer flight, now that would make an interesting TR

R-P

Sparkle, you need to reset your thoughts - every time you picture yourself in a bad situation, mentally shout "STOP!", and picture yourself sat calmly in a comfy seat in the plane, drinking the tipple of your choice and watching a film. Keep picturing it at odd moments. Look at the website Arrivals board for the airport you are flying to and see how many aircraft land there unremarkably every day, and the imagine how many planes that equates to at all the airports in the world, every day, and reinforce how very safe it actually is to fly. Wear an elastic band on your wrist and ping it whenever a scary thought occurs, then change it to a positive picture. Your brain will do whatever you train it to do most, so you need to use different thought patterns and you WILL start to feel - consciously and subconsciously - much better about your trip.

I promise you this works. I was equally in pieces at the thought of flying and went nowhere for ten years until my Orlando trip this year.....I coped just fine, and was amazed at myself!

You deserve this fabulous honeymoon! You can do it.

P.S. My profile pic is me having a G&T on my first flight in ten years - look how happy I was capable of being on a plane! (Some of this is admittedly down to being with the wondrous Roxy-Popsy and sitting in her UC seat, but lots of it was just sheer joy that I was up there!)

ditto ! it may be hard but think of the lovely honeymoon you will be having with the man you love (thats Mr Sparkle for the avoidance of doubt!)

Re your medication - if you are taking it now with no problems then it is very, very unlikely that you will have a reaction to it in the air - drug reactions tend appear very soon after taking it for the first time.

Take a few favourite books and music on your mp3/ipod etc to keep you occupied.

Have a nice meal in the terminal (yes that is possible). Make Mr Sparkle buy you something nice in duty free too.

I think you might prefer to board last so you have less time on the plane to wait before the doors close.

oh how we wish we were, a total V-flyer flight, now that would make an interesting TR

R-P

Somehow I think there would need to be more booze than jet fuel on such a flight - and thats just on the outbound leg ): ): )

Hi Sparkle,
Having a family member who REALLY didn't like flying I have some idea how you're currently feeling. My family member is much better now than they were in the past (due to a variety of interventions/ techniques) and something that has made a massive difference for them has been sitting (and sleeping) in the UC cabin.
You mention that your husband upgraded the tickets with miles - if this is the case thre are 2 UC reward seats currently available on the flight out to Miami on the 19th April.If he has any miles left in his FC account (or you can buy some ) this might be a way to go? (you'll need another 40,000 miles for you both).
Regarding meds, Oxazepam has a reasonably short half life so you might be better off with a benzodiazepine with a longer half life (and more rapid onset of action). Anxiety is a horrible disorder but it is manageable as suzanneme (and my family member ) have recently proven .
Please don't do anything hasty
DL

The thing is I really feel like cancelling again but I can't let my husband and myself down.

Hi, Sparkle, don't beat yourself up about this. You have a real fear, you are not letting anyone down.

I hate to play Devil's Advocate but if getting yourself in a state about this is wrecking your now and getting yourself in a state about the return flight is going to wreck your belated honeymoon - then best don't go. You can get to all places in this world by other means, providing you have the time.

But I get some confidence from the fact that you have posted on here. You obviously want to try and beat this and hopefully the excellent comments of the excellent previous posters will give you some ideas. y) And if you can crack it - well fantastic. y)

You remind me of my sister, also someone with anxiety issues, who used to approach flights in a state of complete terror. She sorted it just by doing it, the more she flew the less of an issue it became and now there is no issue.

However on our first flight together she squeezed my hand so tight for several hours that it is only now, several years later, that my hand has returned to something like its former shape!!! ii)

Good luck. y)

Hi,
My doc prescribes Diazepam, 5mg take as many as you need. These work really well for me, help with sleeping and significantly reduce anxiety - I struggle with turbulence. Maybe pop back to the docs? And my wife and I find UC more difficult when its bumpy because its so difficult to hold hands, (nothing beats a bit of hand-holding!).
I also think that the VA Bloody Marys help - but I'm not really comfortable recommending booze!
Good luck - you will be fine.

Valium y)
also Temazepam y)
Booze y)
On the other hand Valium and/or Temazepam + Booze - n( not a good idea :0

A very nervous friend flying to Seychelles started on the valium, still stressed, so started on brandy. He arrived in the Seychelles early morning, having not slept or destressed at all. Went to his hotel, went to bed and woke up two days later. ii)

On waking he discovered that one of his sprogs (democratic little souls they be - share everything) had donated him german measles. :$

A holiday to remember.

(nothing beats a bit of hand-holding!).

Essential IMHO, luckily I am taking Mrs HWV on holiday with me y)

Hi Sparkle

So pleased that your dedicated personal support team, i.e V-Flyers are here for you y)

Sometimes, if you accept a situation, then it can be a little easier to deal with.

Face a fact: if you really can't face the thought of flying, then, for a few days, don't even think about it & get some brochures/research the internet for cruises departing from the UK, usually Southampton (I know, after the events of today but move on from that).

If this appeals to you then sit down & decide what you'd like to do. Just a thought.

Suzanneme's comments & tips are very useful & very good. oo)

When we met on the plane, she could no longer be concerned about flying as she had Miss Behavin, Miss Understandin, 'love-him-as-I-do-but.....' & me to divert her thoughts. Trust me, poor darhling would probably rather have had time to think!!

I could always send you copies of airplane bingo Now there's a diversion!

R-P

I know it's getting close to departure date, but I used to be similarly worried about flying, but now I can't get enough of it

What helped me to start thinking of flying as the safest form of transport were the "Best Bits" videos. I was lucky enough to see them on Youtube before they were taken down, but you can order them directly:

http://www.itvv.com/product/B747-400/virb747400dvd.html

They give you a complete run through of what goes on before and during the flight. All the saftey checks, all the procedures, what all the little bings and bongs mean. It gave me complete confidence that the Captain would only take the plane into the sky if he was 100% confident it was safe to do so.

If you can get a copy in time, it might help sanitise your worries and let you enjoy the flight.

- Tim.