This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
"I know, it'll be really boring but the taxi driver said it's the only time he could do...and he's reliable...unlike the others we've used before."
I thought MrsPJH twigged why we would be there at 7 when in the taxi.But she hadn't. I then though she'd twigged at the UC desk. But she hadn't. It was only when we entered the lift up to the private security channel that the penny finally dropped for MrsPJH, and what a joy it was that my subterfuge had worked. This was to be a big trip for us; it was the first time we would be seeing the daughter - aka The Less Favoured One aka LFO - since we waved her off to a semester in the USA at Terminal 4 on January 3rd. It was also the first time we'd had to take the PE price offered as we couldn't move dates at all. We'd looked at other airlines, but there wasn't much difference in price and as I didn't want to travel economy if I could help it, so we ended up with a price for PE that 18 months back got us a UC return to NYC. However, the one way upgrade offer on "Manage My Booking" had come along proved irresistable, and I hoped would prove a bit of icing on the cake to make the whole thing even more special. What a great guy, I hear you chorus. And of course it was nothing to do with my comfort; had I needed to I would have been only too happy for MrPJH to have UC'd alone....but she would miss me...I think...(Her explanation of why the UC check in hadn't given it away was the less than flattering "I thought you were just being arrogant")
OLCI had yielded a SEQ number in the "you've really not been trying, have you?" band (all my APIS information having been lost by the system somewhere along the line), but being first into the CH made up for it. Just eversoslightly childish an achievement perhaps, but it did mean both MrsPJH's nails and my head were polished before breakfast, and the first glass of the day, was taken. This was where I decided to be a grown up, and restrict my intake to small glasses of the same drink. OK, this was champagne....and at this point I feel very lucky and more than slightly guilty for the situation in which I find myself.Barely a dozen years have passed since we were thrilled to be crossing the Atlantic in Economy and now we can choose to travel this way....
...though why this way can't come up with a better selection of newspaper for the CH than The Independent ? (the Daily Mail doesn't count). Even the Telegraph....
..but instead I try to get my old style keyboard fingers to grips with the Galaxy Tabs, during which I am truly gutted to find my employer's webmail system doesn't work with tablet devices. Mmmmm. Oh well, won't be able to check work email whilst away.
As sophisticated and grownup UC passengers as we are the siren call of the first boarding announcement is still powerful and cannot be resisted. At the gate boarding is already in full swing, to the extent that both the priorty and non priority lanes are being used to load the few remaining passengers. We join the tail of the queue down the jetway, just as a couple with purple boarding passes are contemplating whether to attempt to bypass the queue. They think better of it.
It takes but a few moments to arrive at the door of the aircraft, where much to my surprise and, yes, delight we are greeted by (correctly pronounced) name. This sets the tone and for the remainder of the flight where our names are used in virtually every interaction with the cabin crew.
Seats taken, shoes stowed and champagne procured I consider the situation and feel quite content. Suite doesn't feel too much different to those we've had on the A346 and the 747, and though Odyssey is today's IFE there's a selection of films that I could happily pass a couple of tape loops with, including "Animal Kingdom" which I have not yet seen. As the flight progresses I am, however, to find my evaluative powers may need some fine tuning.
We're informed by the flight deck that though fully loaded and ready to go early, there's a 50 minute ATC delay. This is followed by the FSM doing the introductions, informing us that patience in respect of service would be appreciated as though operating within sufficient crew for safety rules they are two crew down due to sickness.
The first portent that this might not be the most perfect experience came when I realised that the IFE wasn't displaying the safety video. I pointed this out to one of the crew, who said they would reboot the unit later as long as I promised to listen to the briefing. After which we must have moved up in the ATC queue as we were away about half an hour later, taking a long run up and with the engines emiting a very strange whining noise (not unlike our tumble dryer) and then doing some quite alarming boy racer turns at what seemed to be quite a low altitude. No one else seemed at all bothered by this so I relaxed and ordered a g&t when the drinks orders were taken. See, being grown up again, though I did forget to ask for lime.
Then the next portent. a good few of the passengers, rather apologetically, using their hot towels to clean around their suites. Mine seems ok, but it's not really a great advert and I wouldn't think it does much for cabin crew morale having to apologise for it. Nor is having to do the same for the IFE, which they do profusely when it is clear that even with several reboots mine was showing the same amount of screen activity as the TV at the PJHs during the royal wedding. The DVD player is offered, but having seen all the films of interest I think "meh", politely decline and settle into reading "Operation Mincemeat" on the Kindle. A great book about the attempt to mislead the Nazi regime about the invasion of Sicily, using a dead body and involving characters, actions and moustaches that you really think "nooooo...surely not".
Dinner....well, not to my taste. I am never sure about pork anyway, and in an airline meal ? Mmmmm. The pasta has a good crunchy topping and isn't gloopy, but could have do with a bit of spice IMO.
Now, back to the initial evaluation. OK, wrong about the IFE. And now I find I am, I believe, wrong about the suite. MrsPJH and I like to dine a deux, so I opt to take the ottoman. Now, either my backside has grown considerbly since last year or the ottomans on the 343 are smaller than the 747. So I initially perched on top. and then dropped in during a small amount of turbulence. Here's the problem. I am wedged in tight enough that I don't actually need a seat belt. We could have looped the loop and I would have stayed put. So we decided I should remain in place until I'd taken enough wine to make dislodgement a less painful exercise. This plan, and believe me when I say I am blushing as I write this, leads to larceny as our our morals are displaced by red wine and we decide to "permanently borrow" the salt and pepper containers. They have their revenge though, as will be revealed in the return TR.
Once dislodged and returned to my seat, a fitful (aka slightly inebriated) nap follows. I wake up with a start a while later wondering what all these people are doing in my bedroom. Several seem to have moved around (they were a few pairs separated) and a little group on the other side of the wall were having a modest party. Tea and scone soon hove into view, so perhaps it is less of a nap and more of a deep doze.
Once it becomes clear that we aren't too far out of IAD, a trip to the forward facilities to "freshen up" is taken. Having a bit of nosy I chance upon the FSM doing his paperwork and in a public spirited manner decide tell him about my non functioning IFE so that at least it's recorded. Even though I make clear that the crew have tried everything, offered my the DVD player he's profusely apologetic, asks if I'm a Flying Club member and then offers up 8,000 miles as compensation. Now I know what you're thinking, but it's not true. I really didn't approach him with the intent of getting compensation, it really was to let him know the IFE was u/s. Honest. Gift horses and all that though, so I do not decline the offer.
On notification that we're on our descent, I buckle up and continue to read. A voice somewhere around is asking someone to turn off their electronic device. Lord, what a numpty I think, still using their Pad/Pod/Phone. The request is repeated, and I realise that it is directed at me as I am still kindling away. I am appropriately mortified and squeak "sorry" whilst being unable to halt the blush of embarrasment. Curse this modern technology.
Descent and landing are smooth, and soon we're unbuckled, and stood in the galley awaiting being off loaded. The age of the aircraft is evident around us, as it's all careworn and a little shabby but perhaps still lovable (much like myself). A trip in one of those odd mobile lounges follows (and I notice that the driver states "We at Virgin Atlantic welcome you to Washington" - are they airline specific or is it the script?) giving time to fret about the potential wait at immigration. It turns out this is misplaced, as we tag on to the tail end of another flight in a largely deserted hall. It doesn't stay so for long, so the timing was excellent.
Whilst queuing I have a vaguely uneasy feeling, as though something has been forgotten. Perhaps it's a result of a combination of not clutching the green visa waiver forms (it was always my job to fill them in), and are a lot of tannoy messages about having to have your first place of residence recorded on the customs form. We haven't forgotten anything though, and are soon at the desk. I stick to a resolution I'd made, based on a conversation with the LFO, to get in first with the question "And how are you today?". Unnerves 'em, you know. Luckily it doesn't lead to the response "feeling like taking you into that room over there and putting on a latex glove" and we're through to get our bags and to meet our hosts for our first night.
Shame the A343 / IFE / cleanliness is not such a great advert for VS, but the crew (even two down) were a credit to the company being cheerful, helpful and professional throughout. In summary, a very enjoyable experience and a great way to start the trip to Tennessee.
Return TR, hopefully with some pictures of TN, to follow soon. Thanks for reading this far.
Paul
Last edited by pjh on 29 Apr 2011, 22:48, edited 1 time in total.
We can get better, because we're not dead yet
Brilliant stuff. 
