This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
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The trip itself was a 2 weeker to a villa just south of Orlando – between Haines City and Davenport for those who know the area. Plans were to basically laze around, hit the excellent gym as often as possible, do a bit 'o shopping and perhaps visit a waterpark or two. Our last trip here was May and we were here in 2009 and 2007 so we've kinda done everything now. (I'd been visiting annually since about 2001).
(At this point I should point out that I'm what’s know as 'a miserable bastard'. I'd love to refute this; claiming that I'm just intense, or thoughtful or deep or something. But no, I'm just a grumpy git.
So imagine how I get on in places like Disney! It really is an ordeal for all around me. I remember going to Magic Kingdom in 2007 for the first time. They were having a parade just as we arrived...
Me: “What the hell is all this about?”
Wife: “Its fun, enjoy it”.
Me: “I can't hear myself think”.
Wife: “Look, if your just gonna be miserable I'll leave you at the villa tomorrow”.
Me: “Good luck with that – I'm the only named driver”
Would you believe it – she stormed off. Not bad for my first 5 minutes of Disney Magic...
To be fair it did get better, rides were quiet and the haunted house thing was alight but really...what's all the fuss about?)
Anyways, that was 2007 – I don't have to go anymore luckily! We considered Universal but balked at the price – this was supposed to be a relatively cheap trip. Plus I'm useless in Islands of Adventure – can't do big roller-coasters! This is also the first time where we didn't go to Discovery Cove. This is something we've always enjoyed but we'd been in May so we gave it a miss this time.
You may remember the débâcle (I hope I've spelt that right – looks like too many accents) of collecting the car from Alamo in the OB TR. On the subject of the car, (warning: this bit is going to to be very car orientated, anyone who isn’t interested in cars may want to make a cup of tea or something.)
So the car...
A Cadillac DTS. It was the Premium version so would cost around $55k. Unbelievable. This must be a way for the Government to identify people with dementia. Because if you spend $55k on one of these you will be a) old and b) mental.
But by the end I kinda like it. (what does that say about me?) Odd. It weighed 1.8 tons (so 2 tons with us all in). It had a 4.6 litre V8. Amazing you're thinking – I did, until I drove it. In some kind of feat of dis-engineering they've managed to get the engine to only produce 275hp. But don't worry – although it's slow it still drinks like a V8. It had a computer, which I reset before driving it away – we used 89 gallons in two weeks, 21mpg, just under 2000 miles. I don't think 87 Octane petrol helps but I wasn't paying for the better stuff...
We did manage to get 7 bags in the trunk. And it is massive inside.
Massaged lumbar anyone?
Air conditioned front seats?
Yes please. Both.
I think they made the suspension out of a mixture of marshmallow and jelly. Soft doesn't convey it. Oh, and if you want to turn a corner you need to plan in advance – about half a mile. Any less and the Caddy couldn't cope with the 'sportiness'.
http://www.cadillac.com/2011-dts-full-size-sedan/features-specs/collections.html
Car bit done, (I may come back and add more – no promises).
Other observations of the trip;
Brilliant Gym/Spa at Celebration Health/Florida Hospital. You can see it from US192 and I4 – it's right on the junction. $125 for a couple to be members for a month. I've been using it for years now; it's always shite coming back to the UK and using our normal gym.
Cracking example of this today, (Saturday 22nd). First day back to the gym. Got there, into the changing rooms, sign on the mirror saying (I kid ye not);
“Please can members be vigilant. Recently someone has defecated in the showers and on the floor of the toilet. If this continues we will have no choice but to withdraw the facilities”
Welcome back.
Anyway, link to the gym in Celebration: http://www.celebrationfitness.com/
Another bit of advice/discussion point;
Florida Mall v Mall at Millennia.
My advice: do not go to the Florida Mall – it's like the worst UK City Centre ever. Imagine taking all of the people out of every Primark in the Trafford Centre, the Arndale Centre, that one in Newcastle, the one in Glasgow and the massive one – Westside or something...in London somewhere.
And then put them all into the Florida Mall. Does that sound like a place you want to go? Didn’t think so. So don't.
We just went to the Mall at Millennia. Which is serene in comparison. OK so there are a lot of shops that I'm not going to need, (Tiffany, Gucci, et al), but there's a Macys and a decent food court, (where you can get a seat!!!). Even the bathrooms are nice.
OK – back to the trip I suppose...
We set off at about 11:00 from the Villa. Before leaving I ran a few laps around our loop – it was 0.44 miles according to Mr Garmin – who is generally quite accurate. Only 3 miles – even before 0900 it's too hot for me. Showered and then tried to eat all of the remaining food. The bagels were OK – I could do 4 of them – wasn't having much luck with the ¾ full bottle of mustard though...
Somehow we managed to get everything in the trunk. Although there was a fair amount of taking everything out and putting it back in again. By the time we were ready to leave I was sweating nicely.
The drive south was quite nice really – boring, as others have noted, but I like listening to talk radio in Florida – Real Radio 104.1 FM in the Orlando area. Monsters in the Morning, BS at lunchtime, (Bucket Head Show), then my favourite – the Philips Phile from 1500 to 1900 and finally SBK, (Soul Brother Kevin) from 1900 onwards.
How sad is it to go on holiday and spend hours listening to the radio? Having said that, there are long periods of driving and US radio stations only play the top 5 pop songs of the moment on a loop. (I can't listen to Katie Perry ever again).
Anyway, if you're there, before leaving Dollar or Alamo, tune into 104.1 FM – see what you think.
http://www.realradio.fm/main.html
“Guess the roadkill” was going well – and we saw a bald eagle swooping across one of the roads. Stopped in a gas station at Yeehaw crossing, (the best name for a place ever???), decided not to buy a switch blade for sale on the counter, (although tempted...).
Got to the Turnpike not long after; again fairly boring but the drive was easy and it beats being in work!
Stopped off at a service station about 40 miles out of Miami. Not good. It was like a UK one from years ago. Managed to get sandwiches for the 4 of us but we left smelling of fried food. Then another (small) disaster; coffee spilt down front of polo while drinking and driving, (not that kind).
Bugger. Hate travelling in dirty clothes. Decided that I'd be changing as soon as we got to MIA.
The final few miles proved to be the trickiest in terms of driving; loads of interstates and smaller roads seemed to be merging but nothing a bit of weaving and non-indicating couldn't sort out.
(I do notice that indicating while in the US generally results in someone actively not letting you in. It seems to be better not to let anyone know what you're planning; take them unawares as it were. I very much adopt the 'when in Rome' approach to my driving when in the US. Except for ridiculous tailgating and ignoring the friction reducing qualities of rain.)
Since I'm writing this so long after the trip – in stages – I can happily report back that the toll system that Alamo use works well. Total cost (both ways) has been less than £7.00, which has automatically charged to my VA AMEX. Works really well.
Noticed that the price of gas was $1 per gallon higher in Miami – odd?
Dropping the car off was easy – hauling the luggage through the parking lot wasn't!
We were about 4 ½ hours early – I was sure check-in wouldn't be open – and kept saying so. Didn't stop the in-laws and wife rushing to get the train like we were later than Mr Late from Lateville.
I was determined to prove everyone wrong – so much so that I had a 'convenience' stop before leaving the car rental area. (Needed to go anyway). I'll show them...
Train ride was quick and easy – VA desk not too hard to find. We were about 4 hours before departure time – and they were about to open!!!
Got that wrong then...
There were a fair few people there already – especially in the Econ queue. It was at least a couple of rope loops – if you know what I mean. The PE queue had a few people in it but the UC queue was empty.
So while we got our breaths back from the crazy run from the car rental centre I decided to sort out my coffee stain issue. Now I'm slightly ashamed to say that, because I couldn't see the toilets anywhere nearby, and because I was in-charge of checking everyone in, I changed my shirt there and then. The hight of 'chavness'. I was quick mind; only a swift polo swap. Never mind...
But this did contribute to the other check-in desk phenomenon; “look at them, they can't be in the right queue”.
You know what I mean, right? Happens to us all the time. I conferred with my wife afterwards – she's got sharper eyes than me – apparently the econ queue didn't seem to think we were UC. The PE queue certainly didn't – some of them were wearing blazers after all! And I was wearing combat shorts, flip-flops and had just changed my shirt – they wouldn't have liked the massive tattoo on my back. (Done on Christmas Eve in Vegas 2010 – nearly passed out!).
So when they opened up the UC desk minutes after us arriving and we wandered up we were getting what I'd describe as 'proper eyeballs'. Unfortunately for those hoping we were hopelessly clueless we were checked-in very efficiently. The in-laws were flying economy but were OK to check-in with us. They haven’t got the rear conveyer belt system at MIA so bags were weighed, tagged and handed back – except for UC where a small chap took them off us and put them onto a trolley – well he tried to. He was 6ins shorter than me – I felt bad – we'd got them this far so I helped load them onto the trolley with him. They even took the in-laws bags which was good of the check-in people.
We got our passes for the lounge, 2+2, and headed off to find it. The Econ queue hadn’t opened yet.
By now I noticed the looks – as if we'd done something wrong. Still, very efficient check-in – for us anyway...Bugger the idiots staring – save the FC miles like we do!!
I was expecting the lounge to be before security but it was after. And security was a breeze! No queue at all. I had to go in a body scanner thing. No problems. Had to get re-dressed an wandered on to find the lounge. Got there to find a desk with a woman who shouted “next” but didn't look up. So I just stood there. She still didn't look up. I was prepared to play the game for about 3 ½ hours when she broke and lifted her head. (Victory)
I passed the pass(!) explaining that it was for 4.
“It's for 2” she said.
“2 plus 2” I replied.
“No. Only 2”
“2 plus 2 equals 4”
Blank look.
Then I used my fingers, (not to poke her in the eye – to demonstrate visually, that if one has two people and then one gets two more, one finds oneself with four people).
“Yes you can go in”
Bloody hell. It'd better be good.
It wasn’t.
I'm being hard. I isn’t a VA Clubhouse. But it was fine. The WiFi worked. There were a few beers on offer. (It was a nicer place after 3 bottles...) Sandwiches were truly dire. They must've flown them in from the UK...
And how do they manage to make a airport lounge without any windows!!!!
Still, sat near a big TV, watch news, drank, surfed the web. It was OK.
Went to the gate as soon as flight was called. Wandered passed everyone waiting, said goodnight to the parents-in-law and got on. Not welcomed by name but we were on Gs so I wouldn't expect to be, got a friendly “hello” though.
We were in 3 & 4 K this time. Nice quiet seats. Spent some time faffing around, getting things out of the bag that we might need...
Checked out the menu; food, I thought, that I haven't had to cook myself – brilliant. I love not being a fussy eater.
Grabbed some champagne early on – nice. We saw that the sleep-suits were piled around the shelf near the middle seat at the front – under the sparkly purple board. People were grabbing them for themselves so I joined in – helping the chap opposite find a large. If it saves the crew some time, so much the better. We had a young chap looking after us; he sussed early on that we weren’t going to be demanding. (I wonder if they clock the fact that we're on Gs and don't require as much pampering...)
We prefer the laid back approach so he was cool. The lady on the other side of the isle deserves a mention; only for the fact that she didn't stop smiling. Really. Didn't stop. It was amazing. She seemed genuinely overjoyed to be doing her job. I'm sure regular flyers would recognise her from the 'smiles all the time' description. Looked absolutely genuine. She was definitely in the right job.
The Captain came on to tell us that fight time was only 7hr 45min. I knew this was relatively quick. He went on to say that this was 2 hours quicker than the previous nights flight and that it was due to some favourable tail winds. He then went on to say that there would be a few “lumps and bumps” because of it. I'm fairly familiar with the style of understatement employed by flight crews so I expected a rough ride!
It got bumpy around dinner time. We ate together, which is one of my favourite parts of UC. We both had the beef which was really good. I had lobster to start which was also good. But I do find lobster a bit bland – but it was good nonetheless.
We both did cheese cake to finish, which was excellent.
I had one of the spiciest Bloody Marys ever.
The chap in the seat next to me, (2K), must've asked to move. I guess it was proximity to the WC but there were a couple of empty seats so he was OK to move.
We bedded down not long after dinner, having already changed into sleep-suits.
This is the part that my wife doesn't like; Sleeping in UC is a lonely experience. And rightly so. I'm sure most business people wouldn’t want to wake up during the fight to find themselves entwined with a toothbrush salesman from Milton Keynes.
But it's rubbish for couples.
What I did find, during a spot of pretty bad turbulence, (cabin crew to seats – NOW, please), was that if you lie on your left, you can put your hand into the suite next to you between the suite wall and the bulkhead. So I was in 3K and could squeeze and hand into 4K. Luckily this was the one my wife was in! I've never seen this observation on here before – we're less than a year married so you'll forgive the hand-holding requirement I'm sure.
Although very useful during bumpy turbulence. She spotted it straight away and grasped firmly.
Give it a try sometime – preferably with someone you know!
Slept reasonably well. Did notice that someone had moved into 2K. The reason I notice was that his snoring was louder than if we'd opened a door! I think his wife must've told him to bugger off during the night so he came to the front!. Can't say I blamed her – he was loud!
I don't mind; adds to the surreal experience of it all. Chubby businessmen in PJs snoring like babies all at 38,000ft. Brilliant.
Had fruit and yogurt for breakfast – always feel rough after a flight so didn't bother with the full English – smelt good though.
We arrived early but had to circle. Saw some of London. Landed smoothly and got to a gate relatively quickly.
Didn't bother with the IFE again. OK, slept a lot but even so. I think that the issue on a plane is space - if you have that you don't need much else. I was happy to read for a bit. Use the Mac, eat, etc... It'll be interesting to see how much I use the IFE again when flying further back...
Off the plane first – easy to prioritise disembarkation on a A346. Immigration wasn't too bad, (loads of topical jokes there but I'll leave it).
Our luggage was off quickly but the parents-in-law had to wait ages. Goes to show that the luggage loading is done on class of travel – not labels stuck to the bags.
Trip back was easy – sunny day and Purple Parking were reasonably prompt bringing the car back. My tip would be not to rush out as if they are already there – they won't be. Rather they wait for you than the other way around.
Good trip again. No more UC for a good while; I've just had 2 PE upgrade AMEX vouchers so that'll eat into the miles at some stage. And my wife is adamant that she prefers PE so we can actually sit together! PE with the Clubhouse – that would be good...
Couple of other things now I'm thinking back...
Clearwater is really nice – if you're in Orlando it's worth a day trip. Two beach chairs and an umbrella for $20. $10 to park all day – right near the beach – brilliant.
Also, Sam Adams Octoberfest beer – lovely. May be too late for anyone going now but keep an eye out for all those who like a good beer.
http://www.samueladams.com/enjoy-our-beer/beer-detail.aspx?id=011e3e3f-52b1-4c55-9e05-0417800d7b23
The Winter Brews look good too...
Sorry for not getting this on sooner, it's depressing thinking about the trip while back at work, (which has been awful).
Any comments, challenges, questions welcome.
Thanks for reading.
Craig.
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