This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
... mind you I forgot to use my APD voucher 
So security scares continuing I chose to tube in - it only takes 35 mins from our local station so leaving Mrs D at 14:00 I was comfortably ensconced at UC check in at 14:45. Where I remained for 1o minutes as the pax in front of me were obviously NOT standard but rather, high maintenance. The American gentleman directly in front of me was obviously having problems coming to terms with the 'one item of hand baggage' clause. A HUGE shopping bag just would not accomodate his briefcase so he departed with the exhortation to ensure he had one piece by the time he got to security.
The couple to my left were more interesting - as I checked in I could overhear the transfer from check in to ticketing. It seems they were travelling on mileage tickets (not VS metal) and were trying to use the RETURN leg without having used the outgoing leg. The ticketing agent was sticking to his guns - they hadn't used the outbound portion so they HAD to buy a new ticket. 'But I booked this via a Travel Agent' - 'Yes but you didn't use the outbound portion so the return portion is invalid' - 'but it's a MILEAGE ticket' etc etc.
After a simple checkin I took the adjacent lift to the security level bearing in mind the ominous warnings of my agent that security was REALLY tightened so expect a delay. As I had a 15:15 appointment in the club house and it was now 14:55 I was slightly worried. Making my way to Fast Track I was slightly delayed by an airport employee who paused me explaining that this line was 'for First Class passengers only - what are you flying?'. Not entirely his fault - I didn't want to walk all the way to the end of the Fast Track feeder so I'd ducked under tensa barriers to get there.
Fast Track was about 20 people deep but the couple in front of me (travelling on US passports) had a pushchair/car seat/papoose combination that just wouldn't fit through the XRay machine so a slight delay there. By now I know what will and won't trigger so I was through safely without a secondary. Mrs D insists that I wear my rugbyshirt not tucked in so only as I put my belt back on did I realise that I'd spent the past hour or so walking around with my fly down... ('the cage is open but the beast is sleeping' for old school Viz afficionados).
Moving on - the shoe carnival is now NOT optional. Everyone was being guided through with the entry officer making the same joke over and over about 1 for shoes 1.50 for boots. His colleagues probably plan to assassinate him.
Got to the Club House where the touch screen entry system decided to be the 'Poke Screen' entry system, requiring a good poke to register. Coat and bag into the cloakroom and registered at the CowShed reception for my pedicure. Suddenly I realised that my fivers were in my bag so I rushed to the front desk who gamely split a 20 for me. Back to the CowShed and in for a WONDERFUL pedicure. She went the extra mile and even got some superglue to fix a split big toe nail. (TMI?
). Exiting the treatment an announcement was made explaining that the security alert for T3 was now over so delays would soon be over. No detail was given for latecomers as to what the alert was. Wandering up to the Sky Lounge I called Mrs D and gave a running commentary of the lounge and the garden. Smoking is banned in all locations in the Club House and in the absence of any focal point the garden looked a little barren. Back in the Sky Lounge my attention was caught by a couple of 'Coffee Table' books I didn't recognise, ostensibly lauding the originator of original beer. Beautifully produced this mini epic discretely pointed readers towards a true original beer.
Wandering over to the bar I decided to indulge in a Vesper... but no Lillet, so standard Gin Martini it was. Well I say Standard but EXPERTLY prepared. The twist itself was a work of art/showmanship. Sitting at the bar I was amused to see the label affixed to the Absinthe bottle (an ex-favoured tipple)
'Do NOT serve straight up - NO EXCEPTIONS'.
Much as my imagination was piqued the bartender assured me this was proactive not reactive.
Taking my Martini I moved to the Brasserie where I was capably looked after by a... I hesitate to say 'Steven Seagal lookalike' as I am aware this is a two edged sword - so just assume it is meant positively. Throughout my meal he remained attentive. The menu in the Brasserie had changed since last month - fortunately my usual (CH Burger) was still there but a couple of courses came with an accompanying drink 'recommended by the Chef'... Pilsner Urquell.
CLICK.... 'So how long have Pilsner been sponsoring the Brasserie?'.... a month. Hence the coffee table book
. SIDEBAR - the ketchup/mustard combo normally served with the burger is now plain ketchup after too many complaints from Pax expecting pure ketchup. The original is available on request.
Finishing my meal I visited the toilets for a Club House first. The toilets have big signs up explaining that the ENTIRE CH is non-smoking and that smoking in the toilets is not allowed. It even explains that sensors have been fitted to alert staff to smoking in the WCs. As I walked in a staff member was remonstrating with a pax explaining the non smoking stance. I walked into the cubicle which was obviously recently vacated to be hit in the face by a smell that my younger friends tell me was Marijuana! [v]
I then made my way to Gate 25 (nice easy walk) to again be met by no signage for Priority Boarding. Of course I am now used to this so just walked around the queue and held my passport and boarding pass visibly at the front of the queue. The non VS staff member clocked the BP and as soon as she had dealt with the pax she was dealing with moved to me and let me through. Straight onto the airbridge and after a short delay I was on board and routed to 6K... well an initial cock up as when I returned from changing into my ninja suit I'd installed myself into 5K. As the plane filled it became apparent that in 4K was a 9 year old girl and directly opposite me was a baby with mother, Let's not go there ok? We know it polarises opinion. It was amusing watching people boarding, seeing the situation in close proximity and approaching an FA asking to be moved, Regretfully the flight was very full so no joy...
To squash speculation the baby was PERFECTLY behaved throughout.
Pre-boarding announcements filled me with hope - the 'Flight Safe Mode' test was passed with flying colours. Basically CURRENTLY if this announcement is done correctly it means there's an FSM who is on the ball. I'm sure that this will slowly cease to be a reliable indicator but so far this year it has been cast iron. All crew interactions from thereon in were marked by attentive consistent and professional service. The SCC looking after our side of the cabin was superb - effective clear communications and friendly and efficient with it. Both SCCs in the cabin behaved in a manner you'd like to think CSSs would behave.
The IFBT visited all pax and explained herself clearly and honestly. No raising of false expectations. We were delayed on the ground for a short while so the IFBT used the opportunity to distribute the additional items to as many pax as she could. Half way through the distribution take off was announced and after a longish run we were airborne. Shortly after takeoff drink orders were taken and the FSM came round and introduced herself to the pax - welcoming them by name and using the magical 'thanks for flying us again' referring to your FC status, I'm sure I've flown with this FSM before and as other board members have said and as we keep confirming the FSM rules the roost and sets the standard. This particular FSM had 13 years seniority and it showed. Please can I never fly with an FSM with less than 10 years with VS ever again?
.... NOT SERIOUSLY. Tinkerbelle will make a great FSM without 10 years but you know what I mean... Throughout meal service the FSM was PERMANENTLY in the cabin - servng drinks, delivering trays - again leading by example. The aircraft was G-VELD - a 343. The menu was vaguely familiar... so I won't repeat it here. The IFE was Oddysey
. G-VELD has the perspex protection on the buttons AND the new tables The EmPower was a little late turning on and the crew were enforcing the 'remove battery when plugged in' rule. Still I adjusted my power scheme to use less screen brightness when powered, powered down and came back on mains power. Clamping on my Bose (DJ Jazzy Jeff's 'The Return of the magnificent') I set to work writing up this report. By now regular readers will be aware that my TRs tend to be light on in flight and heavy on people watching so in an unsurprising move this report will now close until more stuff has happened...Well the flight completed uneventfully - as in no one got ill and we didn't have to divert! I ate at the bar because people around me were sleeping. I was joined in conversation with a 9 year old girl who regaled me with tales of locking friend's younger brothers in cupboards 'but it was OK 'cos we made sure he had lots of toys' and other derring do. Seems she's on school holidays and is returning to see her folks - she lives in London and goes to the International School - her best friend is... you get the picture. The crew who looked after me at the bar remained unfailingly charming and good fun. At one stage a fellow passenger joined me at the bar and we talked about his 4 VS UC flights a year on this route etc. I managed to nerd him out with my unhealthily high level of VS knowledge which even had the FSM laughing at me. (Interestingly this plane has no crew rest - is that standard for 343s I wonder?)
Then joy of joys the IFBT approached me at the bar and asked if I'd like my manicure! And manicure she did - one of the best I've had on VS - also one of the longest. We had a good old chat about Wales (where she came from) and about the best products to use - she used to manage her own salon. So a pedicure pre flight, a manicure in flight - I was truly spoiled [:]).
Landing announcements came soon enough so I de-ninjaed and put my computer and Bose away. We landed and rapidly got to the gate where priority disembarkation was enforced - and so to one of those silly terminal lounge bus things they have at Dulles. Tip for future travellers - sit as close to the entrance as you can - you disembark by the same doors you embark on. Wish I'd known this as it left me pretty much at the back of the queue when we got to to immigration. Still only took 30 mins or so to clear by which time my baggage was waiting for me.
So all in all another fantastic VS flight made as ever by a GREAT FSM, great CSSs and great SCCs! (not forgetting the IFBT
).
