This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
I'd been out in New York for over a month so I was really looking forward to the flight home. I don't think I'd even want to go out there to work for so long if it wasn't for the anticipation of the flights each way. Woe betide any company that reduces costs by not flying their staff out in upper class [:)]
I was picked up in lower manhatten and the limo was waiting on Broadway with a lovely Virgin Atlantic sign on the window with my name in it. I always love that. Makes me feel special. I was particularly impressed because I always think the limos in New York are inferior compared to the London ones, so this was a nice touch. Maybe it's just the way they make you queue for the limo when you get to New York that detracts from the service. I don't know. I think I have to change my mind because the limo was great, I could control the air conditioning temperature from the back, and I had free complimentary bottles of water. I don't think I've ever had that in London.
So having had a perfect journey all my bags are off-loaded and I give the obligatory random tip (I can't cope with tipping in the US, it's far too confusing). I head towards the check-in desk, with my 3 huge bags. Im struggling. I think that I should find a trolley. Theyre all outside. I cant be bothered to go out again its only 10 meters to the check-in desk. I really shouldnt have brought so much, but the exchange rate is so good you just have to cram your suitcases full of cheap clothes. There is someone guarding the entrance of the upper class area, so after struggling with my suitcases I hand over my passport. She searched through a whole bunch of tickets on her podium, and finally declared that I wasnt worthy enough (no ticket I heard myself think as Indiana Jones said after hed thrown his adversary off the blimp) and had to go to the ticket desk. Great, Im going to have to lug my suitcases over there and back. Why didnt I get a trolley? Sigh.
So I queue at the ticket desk, and after handing over my passport Im given my ticket. Why wasnt I special enough to have my ticket already printed out and waiting for me? [:(!]
Having lugged my suitcases back to the upper class check-in everything goes as expected, my bags are tagged as upper class, and Im asked to go and have my bags scanned. So, this isnt the first time Ive been to JFK and this has happened before. BUT WHY?! I continue to struggle with my suitcases and eventually manage to get to the scanning machine queue (or line in the US) and after queuing for 5 minutes to get to the front of the scanning machine, the attendant just tells me to put my bags at the end of the bag line and I can go. What? Im not supposed to wait here and see my bags being scanned? So why did I have to queue up? What is wrong with the belts behind the check-in desks to do this?!?! I just dont get it. I have to queue up in person just to put my bags in another queue?! Huh?
At last, Im freed of my bags and entering the clubhouse. This is the bit Ive been waiting for. Its going to be excellent. And you know what it is excellent. I ask for a gin and tonic and its a great gin and tonic (no Gordons, opted for Bombay). I have the burger, and oh my god what a great burger it is. The food and drink arrive very fast, and the flight is called at the precise time its supposed to be, and all is brilliant.
I'm on my way to security. Its at this point I remember I was supposed to buy some stuff from a pharmacy. There isnt one. Well I couldnt find it. Whos heard of an airport terminal without the equivalent of a Boots? Oh well.
I did very much appreciate the JFK security queue for first class / business class (important people, like me [:P]). I had just arrived in the queue when some of the security people escorted me and a couple of other passengers through the hoi polloi on to another scanning machine. This was great. I went through security in around 5 minutes.
Some people mention occasionally on v-flyer about the lack of a priority line at the gate, but in this case there was a clear line and although neither queue was very long, there was some sense of satisfaction that they had got it right on this flight and that I was able to go and hand my ticket immediately to the staff. Sweet. And there is G-VROC waiting for me! On to the plane!!!
Except thats not quite what happened I go through the gate, down the walkway and turn around a corner to find a massive queue to get on the aircraft. Brilliant. [:(] There should be some way of stopping that from happening. Why would I want to wait in a small corridor for 10 minutes?
10 minutes later Im in the aircraft. K asks if I would like some Champagne. Who wouldnt? A lovely glass of bubbly promptly appears. Moments later, Im given a sleep suit! Nice.
Its at this point that I notice theres something different with my upper class bed controls. They seem to have stuck on some plastic to raise the area around the buttons. This is great news! This must be new (correct me if Im wrong I dont remember this on my outbound flight). No longer will I accidentally change my seat configuration by accident.
I watch the video for a bit. This is the same video they always play when you first get on the aircraft showing various clips of TV shows. Its of an appalling quality. It looks like an analogue recording. Why isnt it digital??
K asks me what I would like to eat. I opt for hot chocolate and macaroon. She tells me its not very big. Im not at all hungry from the burger so this sounds fine to me.
The in-flight therapist, A, gives me the options and the usual speech about not being able to get around to everyone today. I dont worry about it, Im going to go straight to sleep anyway but just in case I opt for the massage. And a first for me, she asks me what my second choice would be. A second choice? She explains its something to do with her needing to do a wide variation during a flight. Nothing seems suitable for a bloke, I think she put me down for filing my nails or something?! [?]
Why is it always so hot before you take off? They boil you alive and then freeze you to death after take off. Someone should explain that to me. [xx(]
Its at this point I look at the sleep suit I was given and notice its a Large. Oh dear dear dear. This is a bad sign. Ive always been a Medium on previous flights. I really shouldnt have had that burger should I! [:?]
A few passengers put on their sleep suits before take off. I always find this completely crazy. Ive read in loads of places that the risky part of any flight is take off and landing. If something goes wrong, do you really want to be wearing a flimsy sleep suit and socks? Ill keep my shoes on, thank you very much.
One of my favourite parts of the flight begins. Its the safety video. Virgin Atlantic has the best one. The best bit is when the cartoon man in the video says Its really important to give this your full attention, even if you are a seasoned traveler, like me!. Its the way he says like me. Amusing. The bits at the end in the credits are fun, but I never get to see what happens after the robot is turned in to a teapot. They always prematurely turn it off. Someone should put the video on-line.
Speaking of the safety video I still dont know how Im supposed to brace in the upper class cabin. I asked one of the staff once, and she said I didnt have to worry because I had an airbag in my seat belt. But seriously, that light sticking out of the wall at my head height is going to put me out of my misery in any crash Im sure of it.
The staff comes around with the basket of goodies. I choose polos and a virgin pen. Those pens are cool. So are polos. I don't know what people have against the snooze pack. Seems sensible to me. (troll?)
The next step in the journey is a sight-seeing tour of JFK in a plane. I think we must have traveled the maximum distance possible in order to really get a feel for the place. However we do eventually take off...
As soon as were in the air and the seat belt signs come off, theres a run on the bathrooms. One of the passengers has a real go at one of the other passengers for being in there for too long! Ive never seen that before. [:O] The poor lady who was the recipient of the verbal attack got quite upset. She got her own back a couple of minutes later when she went over and banged on the toilet door and walked back to her seat! Haha. As you might expect the man must have been half way through undressing or whatever, and after a delay opens the door to find nobody there. Tee hee. Reality in-flight entertainment! [B)]
K makes my bed which is nice, and not long after brings me my hot chocolate and macaroon. Aww thats nice, shes given me an extra one. Wow those macaroons are nice! Highly recommended.
The rest of the flight is largely uneventful. I lost my revivals lounge card down the side of my seat. Whoops. And we did a tour of LHR before we found our gate. (Some Turkish plane had apparently got stuck.)
Being in 18K, my favourite seat, I was able to exit the aircraft ultra promptly. The staff did a great job of holding back the riff raff and I was on my way to security!
Another first for me: the UK queue for security was not there! There was nobody at all! Not only could I choose which security person to go to, but because there was nobody else around had a nice little chat. Wow.
Found my cases within moments. Excellent. I guess those upper class tags do work, sometimes!
Off to the revivals lounge!! This was brilliant as usual. My lost invite was not a problem. My shower room was waiting for me. I had my shirt pressed for the first time it didnt get ruined! The breakfast was great. My limo driver turned up precisely on time. My journey back was uneventful.
All in all I had a fantastic flight home, with reality in-flight entertainment, great staff (especially K) and super facilities in the clubhouse and revivals lounge.
[y]
