I took a short 35 minute hop from the Island on board a Shorts turboprop courtesy of Pacific Coastal, I found myself at the South Terminal of YVR. I've been here before, and it's used by the helicopters, float planes and a few short hop services such as mine. It is a very small terminal with few facilities.
The problem is that transfer from the South to the main terminal used to mean either waiting for the infrequent shuttle bus or getting a cab. On this occasion, the airline laid on their own shuttle bus that I was assured would meet the arriving plane directly and ferry the connecting pax. Well that was the theory. In retrospect I'd have been better off getting a cab. For a number of reasons, it still took well over half an hour to get to the main terminal.
There's supposedly some sort of 'YVR FasTrack' check in area for premium pax, but it wasn't immediately visible so I went to the BA check in where there were F and J lines. Horror of horrors, there was a yummy mummy in front in the F line with her six month old baby. Uh-oh I thought. But mummy was very yummy. So I helped her with her bags, nice chap that I am.
The adjacent J line emptied out so I checked in there while YM completed her formalities, and I remembered to get some snob tags on this occasion. I kept with my 2A, as online it looked like the cabin was going to be fairly full.
YVR FasTrack security was OK, taking five minutes or so to clear. Yummy mummy was in front of me, so we chatted about her lovely young baby. I'd just spent four days dealing with my cousin's baby so I am certified to talk understanding baby talk with other adults. At this point - cue the Psycho music - I saw her boarding pass and she was in 1K, in clear screaming view of 2A.
I made my way to the lounge which is located hidden away at the end of the terminal by gate D64, the same gate that the aircraft was parked. There's an F and a J lounge, and both are adequate but quite small. As far as I could tell there was no difference between the service in either except for Pol Roger and Tanqueray #10 in the F lounge. Food consisted of cold sandwiches and a wrap. The wrap was asparagus, brie and roasted tomatoes, and looked good, but didn't quite live up to either its description or its looks.
The view from the lounge, right at the far corner of the terminal, with full height windows around is probably the best I've ever seen. Below your aircraft awaits. In the distance are the mountains.
I have mentioned in an earlier report my beer injury sustained in Edinburgh a couple of weeks ago. My cousin, who I went to see in Canada, is medically trained and she told me it was bursitis. Apparently it was caused by me banging my elbow into a wall while my beer compass directed me almost faultlessly back to my hotel room. Anyway, it needs an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen, and ice packs. Now I'm telling you this now because the lounge staff very kindly provided me with two ice packs while I was in the lounge, drinking Pol Roger and popping Nurofen.
The flight was called and there was a minor scrum at the gate where Y pax were in the F/J line. They were saying that F/J had already been called ages ago so they were justified in being there despite this big **** off sign at the head of the line. Aaargh. So I waited in line, but beckoned yummy mummy over in front of me, diligently helping her with her push chair.
As I made it aboard, I had to make my way through to 2A without escort, as YM and baby had already attracted all fifty of the cabin crews' attentions. And already baby was crying as one of the crew held him. Uh-oh, get that Calpol out madam.
Finally a crew member introduced herself, and I immediately asked for PJs, to which I was told the PJ lady was on her way. In the end I had to wait, and I was last to be approached with an amenity kit and PJs. This is irritating, because I like to get changed right as I get on board in case of a quick push back. On VS this is rarely a problem.
A cleansing Bolly Grande Ann_e 1999 was necessary to relieve my panic. The macadamia nuts were OK but I've never really figured out what the fuss is about them. As with the outbound, I could order anything I wanted to drink.
There was a delay due to some FOD on the runway, so I was liberally topped up with the Bolly.
The cabin was totally full. The crew seem to be realtively laisez-faire about stuff like books, newspapers, clothing etc sitting on the shelf to the side at takeoff and landing.
After takeoff, the crew came around with canap_s and a Bolly top up. The canap_s were fresh and tasted excellent. On this route before they have done sushi which I thought was a really good idea, but on this occasion they were rather safer.
YM had changed into her own jammies. Calm down Howard. Then down the cabin from 5F came an Alec Baldwin lookalike who struck up conversation with YM. Irritatingly, I'd already heard his drawl for some time all the way down at 2A. Now he conducted his conversation with YM at full volume standing up propping up the seat demi-cabin in front of me. After ten minutes his wife came down from 5E to get him [}:)]
The AVOD wasn't working and needed to be rebooted twice. Luckily I had my iPhone loaded up with a gazillion House episodes.
I chose Lobster Thermidor for my starter and I matched it with the Russian River Valley chardonnay. The wines were the same as the outbound. The Thermidor was good, but nothing particularly special.
For my main I had Chicken Tikka Masala. I had this with the 2004 Haut-Bergey. Bloody lovely. Another thumbs up for BA F catering.
The crew made me up a beautifully presented ice pack, covered in napkins like a pillow case. I popped a couple more Nurofens.
I took the cheese plate with some port and some more of the Russian River Valley chard.
While I was getting something out of the overhead bin, YM spilt her glass of wine, and encumbered by her child I offered to help, but being the standoffish guy I am rather than gently patting and soaking her wine down with a napkin or simply licking the wine off her, I mentioned it to the crew in the galley.
I drifted off and woke up an hour before landing, woken by the breakfast service. Again, the seats, despite being a ten year old design are pretty comfy.
I couldn't get any attention for a cup of tea, so I had to go to the galley to ask for one.
We arrived 40 minutes early, and surprisingly we still had a gate position. We had the usual depressing wait for the school leavers to operate the airbridge, although unusually there wasn't a problem with the automatic gate guidance today. Getting onto the shuttle train from satellite B to A was awful: it was exceptionally crowded and humid.
At passport control I was behind one girl who, upon reaching the yellow line, was somewhat surprised that she'd need to get her passport out. Rather than moving aside as she rummaged endlessly through her bag, she continued oblivious to those behind her and a waiting immigration desk... and then someone zipped over from another queue!!! Aaaargh!!! I was so incensed!
Eventually she found he UK passport, but the immigration guy was asking her quite a few questions. Even more aaaargh! Then, once I'd finally made it through in seconds, there was the same girl still going through her bag, and in it I noticed there was another passport - a US one.
I made my way to the Galleries Arrivals. It's rather hidden away upstairs. I took a shower, but I'm afraid they're not very big. I found them very humid and already in a state of disrepair. I was sweating when I left due tot he humidity and lack of ventilation. I was going to have breakfast in the Concorde Breakfast Room, but my Limobike driver was already there so I chose to go straight to work for my last day.
What of YM? Clearly she had plenty of Calpol with her, because other than the short outburst on boarding, there wasn't a single peep form baby. They're now on their way to Nairobi. Probably best, she was most likely very high maintenance anyway. [:p]
