This is a Trip Report from the Economy cabin
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After an all too quick 12 day break it was time for myself and the GF to return back to the UK. You will remember from the outbound TR, that due to work commitments, we had to return to the UK much earlier than expected, however VH had sorted everything out for us and all the penalties we had to pay were paid. Highlights of our all to brief stay included a lovely stay at the Ritz Carlton in Sarasota (complete with upgraded room, some celeb spotting and some more Brit Abroad cringe worthiness thrown in for good measure (I swear it was the same family that plagued Mvipond on his return from BGI!)), an evening trip to Cirque du Soliel, time with my parents catching up and a couple of meals at our favourite reasonably priced restaurant.
The night before we were due to depart I logged onto the VS website to check in online. I was greeted by a message informing me that I could not be checked in online and I was to check in as normal at the airport. Nothing too out of the ordinary I thought, maybe the VS systems are down or it is something to do with our date change. Either way it didnt worry me too much.
We decided on leaving my parents place at 10.30am, so it was no great surprise that 10.30 rolled on past and we will still packing the car. 11.11am the car clock stated as we cruised out of my parents drive and said goodbye to the security guard, also a Will, for one last time. We stopped a couple of times on the way down the Turnpike for the obligatory loo break as well as our usual stop off at Jupiter Beach for a spot of lunch and a quick Starbucks. We arrived into MIA at 4.15pm and dropped the car off at Dollar. What a mess Dollar was, they had so many returning cars that we were queuing out of the gates of the place! To be fair, within about 10 minutes car was deposited and it was a quick trip to the rather grotty restrooms to change into a pair of trousers for the flight back.
10 minutes later and we were on the shuttle for the short drive over to MIA. We were treated to one most odd shuttle driver. One thing was clear, he was after a tip! Before we left Dollar he was shouting at customers who were putting their bags on the shuttle themselves. After the drive over to the airport, he become very friendly and as we pulled up to the VS entrance we could not stop him talking. He was predicting that the GF and I would have twins, which was rather a scary thought! Of course we did end up tipping, mainly trying to get rid of the change we had amassed over the previous 12 days. We said our goodbyes to the driver on the curbside and we off into the MIA check in area.
I was prepared for the worst check in scene possible, so imagine my delight as at 4.45pm we walked into the check in area to find no queue for the Economy check in desks! Around the snake of barriers we went and straight up to a rather charming check in agent. He informed us that we could upgrade to W for the flight and there were seats available, fantastic I thought as I was whipping out the Visa to take one final holiday hit. So far so good. Passports and E-Ticket Receipt form VH handed over and I was feeling rather smug at the fact that the check in queue gods were smiling on me!
However it soon became clear that the VS agent had a tiny issue with our booking. The VS systems would not let him check us in. Here is brief synopsis of how the conversation went:
Agent: Mr Willd, I am afraid I cannot check you in currently. Have you recently changed your flight dates?
Me: Yes I changed my flights with VH back in the UK before we departed and have paid the penalty for doing so
Agent: Well our system is telling me that you owe us $264.92 in penalty charges for changing your flight
Me: I am not sure that can be correct, four different employees of VH have informed me I had paid everything I needed to pay.
Agent: I will get the station manager.
So rather perplexed and in fact slightly annoyed with VH, the agent went off to find his station manager. Around 5 minutes later she returned and pretty much told us the exact same thing as the agent had. That being: the system wouldnt let us be checked in until the penalty had been paid however she completely understood our reluctance to pay as we felt we had already paid.
Past experience when dealing with call centres has taught me to document everything and it was at this point I remembered I had documented my conversation with the VH agent when I changed my flights. There in plain black and white were the figures for our refund (as we had gotten money back from Dollar) taking into account the VS penalty charge. The station manager said she would contact the VH rep who was downstairs in arrivals meeting people off the inbound. Quick phone call and the manager was back to inform us that the rep was on her way up from arrivals and would be with us in two minutes.
20 minutes passes and the manager is back. The rep is downstairs sir, she will be 2 minutes I promise. Alternatively we can ring London and get them to sort it We declined the offer of ringing London, after all it was still on about 5.10pm, we had plenty of time to get this hiccup sorted.
You can imagine the scene then when 50 minutes later we still had not seen any sign of the VH rep and we had been left stuck by check in barriers in a sort of airport no mans land, as I witnessed passenger after passenger arrive and check in. At this point the GF is beginning to panic, and to be fair so am I. Its now ~5.45pm and the flight is supposed to start boarding at 6.05pm and we still have not been checked in or gone through security.
And then very casually in walks the VH rep who we had a brief encounter with 12 days earlier. Where on earth had she been? Well it turned out that she was not downstairs but was over at Dollar overseeing the arriving passengers receiving their cars. Clearly our issue at check in was not top of her priority list however I was rather annoyed at her almost carefree attitude towards our situation.
So up she arrived, she had a quick look at the computer system and came over to inform us that we had to pay as we had changed our flight since we departed the UK. I of course corrected at which point there was a look of sh*t I dont know what to do then spread across her face. Her response was to call her resort manager.
Whilst this farce is going on, we receive the delightful news from the station manager that we have lost our pre-assigned Y seats and that there are now no more W seats left. Fearing we would be split up I asked the station manager if she could somehow reserve us two seats together, to her credit she did and was most apologetic about losing out on the W seats.
Back to the VH rep and the resort manager. Next minute I am thrust a cell phone and speak to the resort manager who had the rather annoying habit of interrupting me every time I tried to explain the situation.
The resort manager, unsurprisingly could not answer why I was being given this extra charge and would not pay it/waive it. I did point out that I would pay on my return to the UK, if VH could show I should pay. However she stated I would have to pay and then take it up with Crawley on my return. At this point I looked at my watch, it was now 5.55pm and we still had not checked in. I told her that I felt essentially timed out by it taking over 50mins for the rep to arrive and that I really felt I was being left with no choice other than to pay.
So pay I did, I really did not want to but felt it was the best option as the rep/resort manager were not budging. The only option they provided was to ring the UK emergency hotline! I realised this would take more time we did not have as I would have to re-explain the story for about the 500th time. 5 minutes later VS penalty fee paid, rep had disappeared and we were finishing up check in. I enquired to the check in agent how long security would take and almost fell over when he said 20 minutes if lucky! 20 minutesit was now 6.05pm, boarding was commencing and according to VS policy we had 25 minutes to get to the gate before it closed!!
We ran over to the TSA bag screening drop area and then proceeded towards security. 20 minutes my ar*e, five minutes later we were through security with ease. Then we started on that stupid walk/run that one so often sees on Airport and seems obligatory when you feel you may miss boarding. It is a bit of a way up to the gate area at MIA and once again it is 80s dcor the whole way. We proceeded down the stairs into the gate area just as the J passengers were leaving the American lounge, so I knew we were arriving just in time for boarding of all premium passengers. We did manage a quick stop at Hudson News for a bottle of water and then made our way over to the gate.
The gate area had priority boarding well laid out but the Brit Abroad obsession of standing around the gate area just so you can get onto a plane two minutes earlier so one can have two extra minutes sat down in a cramped Y seat was happening. We watched dead heading crew all get called forward and one of the crew members was then heard claiming her excitement at being given a J class seat upon returning to the other dead heading crew members who were sat down with the rest of the passengers. A tiny bit unprofessional I felt. About 10 minutes later we were called to board and our boarding passes were scanned by the station manager. She of course recognised us and apologised and stated that she hoped VH in the UK would help, a nice touch I thought and certainly made me reflect later that her and her staff were a credit to VS.
Straight onboard G-VSSH Sweat Dreamer were we found a sight I have not seen ever before when flying. The airplane was icy cold with what appeared to be spray being pumped out of every air vent on the plane. Quickly we realised it was not disinfectant as we first thought but was actually air that was coming through the vents. It looked rather like dry ice and was not damp at all when you touched it.
As we were one of the last to board it was not long until the final preparations for departure were being undertaken. It became quickly evident that our FSM thought of himself as something of a comedian (or perhaps had been on the DJ exchange and had become used to the informality of the DJ announcements). He was rather funny and did get a few giggles from the passengers.
I was just putting my final bags in the locker when I was almost bowled over by one of the deadheading crew members who walked down the plane with the authority of someone in uniform. They quickly went through to J
The pilot came onto to inform us of an 8 hour 5 minute flight time and a routing that would take us out Miami on the most southerly runway followed by a left hand turn and then tracking the Eastern Seaboard all the way up to St. Johns and then flying in over Exeter and the South West.
We pushed back more or less on time and as the APU was turned off the dry ice effect stopped partially however as the taxiing commenced it could still be seen pouring out of the vents in the PE cabin. We lined up for take off behind a brand spanking new LAN Chile 777 Freighter (the geek that I am was rather pleased with this spot and the more unusual Latin American carriers present) which soon blasted off and then it was our turn.
We had a fairly long take off role, achieving v1 rotate just by the terminal building. After about 20 seconds the First Officer came over the PA. At this point I began to think we had a problem hence the quick PA announcement. Instead we were treated to announcement informing us that on the aircrafts sonar we have spotted a shoal of dolphins about five minutes out so keep an eye out on the left hand side. The mere mention of sonar got me doubting the truthfulness of this announcement but sure enough a lot of the passengers were looking out of the window. Around 3 minutes later the first officer was on once again to inform us that the dolphins can be seen playing with some people on the jetskis right now. Cue: stretching of necks, little children heard saying Mum I cant see them etc. 30 seconds later and the first officer is on once again For those of you looking for the dolphins, I have one thing to say to youGOTCHA! The whole cabin burst into laughter and a ripple of applause was heard. If we hadnt realised before, we clearly had a flight deck crew and an FSM who were rather funny!
The usual plane wide and then Y class only announcements were made. Must have been a fairly light flight up the front as I only saw three spare seats down the back but we only had 200 odd on board this evening.
V:Port was fired up pretty much straight away following a rather informative speech by the FSM on how it works etc. It was at this point that I began to notice we had a rather loud young boy sat across the aisle from us. However as soon as his kiddies meal arrived he began to quieten down.
V:Port up and working I settled in to Gran Toroino- being about the only thing I wanted to watch. Not long after the opening credits aforementioned little boy begins shouting that his tv screen does not work. Bing-bong and crew are along to do a reset of his and his Mums screens. Five minutes or so later bing-bong still not working. FSM comes over the PA to inform us that V:Port is not working for a large number of passengers so a quick 10 minute reset will be done. If that fails then it will be an hour long reset. No money then for guessing that 10 minutes later we were informed we would need a whole plane long reset. Rather annoying but I was at the stage of wanting V:Port to work so that it would keep the young boy from talking- he was beginning to grate on me. We have discussed at length how poor V:Port is and any newer system is surely a must.
Whilst V:Port was down, dinner was served along with a combined bar service. I picked the wrong choice. It was the usual chicken, beef or vegie but the chicken (which was chicken with pasta) was by far the best option. The beef was an American take on a stew and really was not fantastic (especially as it was sold to me as roast beef!). Of course this was all washed down with a can of Heineken. During the meal service the FSM came on to say that due to V:Port problems, a number of unused papers from Upper Class were available for use from the back galley. Of course the timing of the announcement was not great as the trolleys were doing their bit but it was a nice little touch, it certainly helped passed the hour delay.
As soon as the cabin was cleared the lights were turned off and I attempted to hit the sack. V:Port finished its reboot at some time just after the lights were turned off but really I was too tired to watch anything. I managed about 30 minutes of sleep, we all know the kind, the type that you only ever get on a plane in Y! Really its not sleep more of a glorified eyes shut routine. However my sleep was rudely interrupted by a patch of rough air. Nothing to be worried about but clearly upfront we had a trigger happy pilot whose finger plunged down onto the seat belts sign straight away. Of course this resulted in the PA being used to inform us the seat belt sign was on, followed by the pilot apologising, followed by a light being shone in my eyes to see if I had my seat belt on (which of course I did). Whilst I appreciate that crew do need to follow the safety requirements, on the whole I find that VS seem to be all too quick to put everyone in their seats. 10 minutes later, seat belt sign off and sleep is resumed.
Of course no surprise that pretty much once an hour for the next three hours this rough air routine was repeated. Problem with rough air is that it is completely subjective, so my perception of a really rough flight might not be someone elses. It must make it hard for the guys up front but I do feel that VS has a lot of trigger happy pilots.
The night passed fairly swiftly although I did wake at silly o-clock. This was in part due to the couple in front having their window blind open. Curiously there was no announcement or crew member ensuring window blinds were shut after dinner. However after a quick trip to the water fountain I managed to get another 20 minutes sleep before the crew switched the lights on. When I saw switch I mean just turned the light on at its full brightness in a style that everyone always tries to avoid in the morning. After my eyes recovered from the shock a quick look at i:map showed we had two hours and twenty minutes remaining on the flight! I couldnt believe it, to make matters worse the W cabin was still in darkness. It baffles me why the lights were put on so early (especially as it was another 40 minutes before the carts made their way to the front of the W cabin to serve breakfast) and secondly why the W cabin was left in darkness until the last possible minute but we were not. O well.
The usual disgusting muffins were served for breakfast and it was notably how many people declined them. I couldnt work out if it was because 1) it was too early to eat or 2) because, like me, they think that melted cheese does not go with egg and bacon. I asked if there was anything else and to my delight was supplied with the old style Y breakfast of some fruit. Top marks to the crew for being accommodating.
As we cruised in over Lands End, I made a quick dash to the bathroom to freshen up. We then flew in over Exeter, which resulted in the GF and I looking out for familiar sights from our university days. With about 30 minutes to go the seat belts sign was on and the pilot was on to thanks us for flying VS and a special thank you to our FC members for their continued loyalty. Advised of an arrival time of 8.07am. I took up the window position and had my iPhone out to get some grainy photos of whatever we flew over.
As if by magic I saw a parting in the clouds and then very quickly realised that we flying right over Guildford!!! First ever time I have flown over and recoginsed my home town, we could quite clearly make everywhere out, including our little home! The city looked so small from up there but a number of our usual haunts were ever so clear. I have uploaded some pics on my Facebook account for those that are interested.
We did a quick loop of the circuit over Guildford, Kingston, Richmond Leatherhead and then headed off towards Crystal Palace a quick turn around over Greenwich, with my work place clearly visible at Canary Wharf and then a fly down over the Thames. Down on the ground at 8.16am local, hard on the brakes and quick exit. Taxied into the gate (38 I believe) with a DL 767 right behind us. We did come in past the SQ 380 which was parked up on a remote stand next to two VS planes.
The FSM came on with the usual welcome announcements plus the rather amusing statement that anyone who stood up before the seat belt sign was off would be cleaning the plane. Disembarked within five minutes and then we started the sprint to immigration. My o my what a hole immigration is. It is a horrid entry point to the UK for visitors. A real disgrace. Through immigration in about 10 minutes. Two of our bags were already going around on the baggage belts but we had to wait about another 10 minutes for the third.
We were outside waiting for our lift within about 30-35 minutes of touch down. Not bad at all. Being back in the clutches of Englands not so green and pleasant land I began to go out of holiday mode. We placed our bags on a trolley and wheeled it outside. At this point I saw our lift so took cases off trolley and walked the 50 metres to the GFs Dad. Met him, loaded our bags into the boot and we were all set. At this point the GF pipes up with willd where on earth is my Longchamp bag. I respond well darling the last time I saw it was on the plane. Response no I left it on the hook on the luggage trolley. Cue panic look over my face as I realise this bag has all our passports etc. The GF runs over to the location of the trolley (which was by the VS shuttle bus) to find a plain clothes officer on his radio calling in the unattended bag. GF apologises profusely, blames me and the lovely officer lets her on her way. Must admit I cant believe we were so stupid but I am also impressed by the efficiency of the Met. The bag had been left for no more than about two minutes.
With that episode beside us we headed out of LHR and were back home by 9.45am, I was at my desk in Canary Wharf by 11.45 (having been home to freshen up and get my suit on), not bad at all I felt.
So my thoughts on the flight. The flight was just fine, red eye syndrome was not present in the crew. V:Port was rubbish, the seat was reasonable and the food was poor. I have given check in an excellent as I felt the VS staff were fantastic, especially the station manager. As for the adventures with VH, well it has left a rather sour taste in my mouth and probably will be the last time we go on a VH holiday. The lack of willingness from the VH rep to assist us, stunk a fair bit, it was clear we had paid the money we owed and that VH just had not passed it on to VS. However VH have been informed and we are now attempting to get our $267 out of VH. So all in all a bog standard Y flight, crew were pleasant and accommodating when asked.
EDIT: Just to add an email has been sent to VH. They are dealing it with 'in accordance with ABTA guidelines and will give me a response in 28 days'.
