This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
Entertainment
Seat
Cabin Crew
airport, aiming to get on board with a minimum of fuss, don the eyeshades and get as much rest as possible. After all, it's just another flight...
Well, perhaps in some strange alternative universe. This was a big, exciting, adventure for us; our first West Coast UC (our East Coast jaunt whetted the appetite, but the
return leg of same felt particularly short), the first big hit on the miles I've accrued over the years and the first time holidaying at length a deux for 23 years. After a
nerve shredding start to the year in terms of travel - volcanoes, BA strikes and then threatened BAA strikes - the day dawned (only in the strictly temporal sense) with no
clouds of ash, no worries that we'd be bumped in favour of cash wielding refugees from BA and a plan to be in the CH early doors. All holidays should start with a few anxious
moments, and this was no different. This time the mix was changed; fewer passports and tickets to worry about, but more socks and electronic gadgets to keep track of. For the
past few years, summer has meant an all inclusive in the Caribbean somewhere, with little need for either cash, hosiery or how to get from A to B. This year we were back old
style, road tripping in the USA as we used to, hence the need for socks (we were heading for the Pacific North West), iPod touch (for email and in car jukebox), phone (for text
and old fashioned calling) and GPS (which we'd got ny without in the past, but this as this was our first trip sans enfants I thought it probably wise to buy the US maps and
hence reduce the likelihood of long silences caused by map reading "incidents").
By the way, apologies if certain sections of this TR are a tad vague; we're did an amazing amount in our time away and the memory seems to be opting for a policy of removing an
old fact when a new one puts in an appearance. So detail about how long we waited for the meal service, for example, is missing.
Terry The Taxi arrived to whisk us there in, if not quite style, his mid range japanese saloon. His calm driving manner was quite soothing, and he was evidently very well known on both the A1 and M25 as other drivers would often overtake him on the inside just to wave and shout some form of greeting. I think they were trying to warn him about a "useless w*nker" (possibly two, by the number of fingers deployed in the wave) elsewhere on the road. His cool was ruffled on the return, but more of that in another TR.
He did however get us there at the planned time of 6.45 am. Check in was very, very quiet and though the UC check desks were evidently willing to deal with anyone there were
still a couple of agents free. The agent was very pleasant, and anxious to ensure that we understood what was on the tickets (why there was a "default" FC number on the ticket,
for example and that we would be met by a car at the other end). We were on our way upstairs in no time and after a time wasting circuit of the retail opportunities arrived as
numbers two and three in the CH. D*mn. Beaten to SEQ 1 and 2 at OLCI, and humiliated by a lone traveller at the portals of the CH.
Even with the prompt arrival we were beaten to Treatment Reception by two families who, it transpires, were attempting to arrange a staggeringly complex pattern of treatments
and showers. Under glaring restraint from MrsPJH I kept my huffing, muttering of "that'll take more computing power than it took to put man on the moon" and foot tapping to a
minimum, and was rewarded for my efforts by a 9 am appointment for the both of us. This sorted, we then mosied over into the CH to partake of some computing and caffeine, and to await the arrival of V-Flyer Rich1664 who must have arrived shortly after us and was, according to his text message, already under the hairdresser's scissors.
After a short while a suitably smartly shorn Rich1664 appeared and turned out to be a charming and presentable young fellow with, I suspect, one of the more interesting jobs in the world. Still, I comfort myself with the thought that spending my life discussing the content of a chart of accounts with clients has its plus points, though I'll have to get back to you on what they are. After a chat, we parted, the PJH's to breakfast, Rich1664 to his work before his flight to NYC, documented here.
After breakfast, with the obligatory champagne, I was now ready for the first mojito of the day before treatment time. As this was about 8.30, I realise this was letting the
side down, but I'd already decided that I would like to experience to UC experience in the air (and not just fall asleep due to over indulgence) and so was trying to limit my
intake and also pairing every alchoholic beverage with a glass of water. Now, having left the breakfast table, the problem proved to be an absence of available seating anywhere
in the CH to set down a glass or two. Singles, couples and various sizes and ages of family had colonised the place. We took the opportunity to visit the roof "garden", taking
in a waft of kersosene or two, and though the Sky Lounge was open and clear, thought it might be a service free zone so headed back down to find someone moving and leaving a
space big enough for the two of us, and enough time for a restorative mojito before treatment time loomed.
I'd opted for the pampering facial, having decided I didn't want to go through the trauma of losing my beard again. After some confusion as to which of us was getting which treatment, this was pleasant enough, and if I recall correctly formed part of the shave that had robbed me of my facial hair last year. MrsPJH opted for the neck and shoulder massage, which she reported to be "quite vigorous".
When we reappeared from the treatments, the CH had emptied out a little so we took our seat again and went for the second mojito and a couple of rounds of the "who do I hope isn't on our flight" game. In seemingly no time, the flight was being called and off we went on part II of our adventure.
Service in the CH had been very good. The CH manager (?) seemed to be everywhere, plying me with more toast in the breakfast, then out working the bar, then generally circulating and checking people were having a good time and getting the service they wanted.
So, down to the gate where boarding was in full swing, with a clearly marked priority line allowing us to bypass the queue that stretched back into the corridor. When we arrived at the aircraft door things were held up a little as the crew were dealing with a lady in a wheelchair who was going into UC, so barely a "welcome on board" for anyone in our immediate area, just a direction to the location of our seats.
I'd opted for 15A and 16A and was impressed by the amount of available space but less impressed to find someone already tucked up in one of our seats. When I questioned his presence, he suddenly noticed he had 15K on his ticket. Now, I now sometimes the row numbers can be slightly confusing, but the letters? Anyway, he moved without any fuss, and as we had no need of the overhead locker space, gracefully acceded to his request to leave his luggage where it was (noting that the locker over 15K was actually full already).
Champagne was quickly offered, as was a quick tutorial of the operation of the seat etc, where the crew member said she'd show me at the same time as "this lady here". Cue "that's no lady, that's my wife" joke. Oh, how we laughed. Or, more accurately, didn't.
I think we pushed back on time, and then we settled into to the experience. High on the list of the things to notice was the rather physical nature of the experience. It was clear that you were close to being over the front wheel, with every bump being transmitted up into the cabin. Not that this was a problem - quite the reverse - though I could see that if you flew regularly it could be a pain.
A drinks round soon appeared, and I opted for a South African Merlot (and glass of water). Not as toothsome as the Pinotage I had last year, but it still hit the spot. Food orders were taken: I opted for the Virgin Mary soup (sans vodka) and the chickpea fritters; MrsPJH went for the salmon salad and the lamb. Though the fritters proved a little on the dry side, I enjoyed them a great deal. MrsPJH reported the lamb spot on too. An appearance by the cake stand was made later after afternoon tea, and I may possibly have consumed a number of the chocolate variety.
Though the IFE had a good selection of films, I opted to dig in to my book ("The Smartest Guys in the Room", bought after seeing "Enron" last year) instead and only to watch "The Thick of It", some "Family Guy" and "Beautiful People". All of which made me laugh. I'm not sure quite why I didn't watch more of the films - even though I'd seen a few of them and have others on my LoveFilm list I am (to MrsPJH's despair) always happy to watch favourite films multiple times and when flying PE or Economy will line up one film after another. Perhaps it's because the UC experience is more relaxing and I don't need as much to "take my mind off things"....
When not reading, gazing out of the window or watching the IFE I indulged in people watching. Opposite me watch a young lady who entertained me greatly with her reaction to whatever she was watching - great guffaws, expressions of astonishment, loud "Oh no"s. The full kitchen sink, with only "he's behind you!" missing. There was also a young chap from Apple HR (how old fashioned - don't they know were are now subject to "Human Capital Management" regimes and processes?) who spent a good deal of time demonstrating his iPad to anyone who showed and interest and spent the time taking photos of himself when interest flagged.
A number of drinks runs took place, but there was a point at which all the cabin crew seemed to vanish. Seeking refreshment I decided on a trip to the bar - hadn't done that before - and was more than a little surprised to find the rear zone of the cabin in complete darkness with all seemingly in a state of suspended animation. Again, this is probably more to do with the fact that we fly long haul only occasionally, and still find it exciting to gaze out of the window into daylight.
On arrival at the bar I was surprised to find myself being served by a clone of Chris Moyles. And he was not in a good mood. He did, however, serve very generous measures so I could forgive him a little of his grumpiness. His mood didn't get any better during the flight though, and he wasn't really putting in that great a performance in front of the paying public by the end of the flight, doing half a job at a time and then having to huff back to complete it.
And the end of the flight did arrive, pretty much on time. Landing was even more of a physical experience than taking off, and at one point it did sound like bits were dropping off. I presume they weren't as I didn't notice any of the other aircraft having to take avoiding action.
Priority disemberkation was enforced, but it mattered little as we were following at least one other 747's worth of passengers (Air France, I think) into the immigration hall, and I hadn't yet picked up on Crispin's advice about moving to the right towards the lanes dedicated to US citizens. We also doubled our delay by picking a queue that had a good number of schoolchildren in it, for somehow they manage to cram more bodies into a given space than families and others. It was, if not a pleasure, at least a slight relief, not to have to complete the green forms, though several people were still doing so and several others were clutching printed copies of their ESTAs.
I suppose it took us about a three quarters of an hour of queueing to get through, and then a wait at the luggage carousel as someone had been "helpful" and unloaded the bags to various different places around the floor. This brought back memories of the Cuban Carousel Case incident, but blood pressure levels were fairly soon restored by the cases re-appearing on the carousel.
From there, it was out to find the Limo Lady and our driver, and we were soon off north towards our first destination, Santa Rosa.
All in all, a very good day, with only the in-flight blank service spots and Mr Grumpy tarnishing things a little. In terms of service, the return a couple of weeks later more than made up for that however.
Fo anyone still reading, I'll be posting two other TRs, with some pictures, that will cover, amongst other things..
-Two excellent flights, one on Virgin America and the other on VS020...
- Billy the Exterminator
- The world's most enthusiastic museum curator
- Dead Guy; where have you been all my life?
- Flying bedpans
- What the support officers at Heathrow Terminal 3 drop off do other than keep the traffic flowing
Last edited by pjh on 22 Aug 2010, 19:09, edited 2 times in total.
We can get better, because we're not dead yet
