Ah yes, the trip to Petra. We had taken an internal flight from the small Sde Dov airport at the northern end of Tel Aviv to Eilat and the security screening in both directions had been a bit of a nightmare. It had taken us 45 minutes to get cleared for the morning flight and slightly less for the evening flight and as well as the "normal" security questions the interrogation had included such questions as how did I know my friend; were we romantically involved (God, no! was my response); who paid for the flights; how could I afford to pay for so many flights; my marital status; had I children; why had my son not come with me and many others as well as having my camera taken and the photos perused.
It was hard to remain calm under such intrusive questioning although it was done politely and with an occasional apology for the personal questions. As a result I was somewhat apprehensive as to what would happen at Ben Gurion for my departure and so left plenty of time for the flight.As I had two checked bags, a carry-on and a carrier bag containing a jacket and jumper for later as well as my handbag I decided to take a taxi to Ben Gurion rather than try and schlepp with them on the train. On arrival just before 1:30pm I made my way to section A where the BA check-in was situated and my heart sank when I saw how heavily congested was the area for security screening. It was going to take hours to get through. Not so! I suddenly noticed a sign for First and Business class lane and so I quickly made my way along only to find no-one manning it. The guy who was looking after the line next to mine finished dealing with a middle-aged man with an inordinate amount of luggage including a large cardboard box with a Brooklyn NY address written on it and then turned to me much to the fury of his brassily blonde wife.
I braced myself for a lengthy questioning but after asking me when had I arrived in Israel, if anyone had given me anything to carry on board and had I seen all my souvenirs being wrapped I was allowed to proceed. From there it was on to have my bags to be checked screened. There were two machines but no clear lines as to where one should be and I dithered for a minute before joining the crowd alongside the far one and skirted around it and placed myself near Mr Brooklyn NY. I was aware that two guys came from the Business line and went ahead of me but I managed to insinuate myself between the two of them (what's to bet it was gingerflyer) and at the same time Mrs Brooklyn arrived behind her husband. There was a bit of jostling for position and then Mrs B decided to take issue with the two men claiming that they had walked to the head of the line and that they were next and that I had also barged in. I could have argued that in fact I had been security-cleared before her but some battles aren't worth joining especially as one of the men was saying that there was no problem in them going through first. Mrs B gave a triumphant look but it was a bit of a hollow victory as at that point the officials closed all the lines allowing only people for an Italian flight through and then started calling for people bound for Moscow. Finally the Italians and Russians had been disposed off and we were off once more. Mr and Mrs B were let through and then it was our turn. I put my bags on to the belt and went to the other side of the machine. When they appeared I was told they needed to go for a secondary search and I was directed to another line. There was a screening area with tables where bags were opened and searched and again we had to wait till the Italians and Russians were screened. There was a frantic atmosphere round the desks as calls went out for people for the Italian flight until it was clear that they were all through whereupon a collective sigh of relief all round as the screeners peeled off their gloves and left the area - and us standing! Eventually they re-grouped and fortunately I was at the front of the line and was called to a desk as was Mr B to the one adjacent to me. I was asked to open the first bag but as I muttered about getting my glasses for the lock the screener asked if I spoke English and then asked about one of the contents of the first bag. I confirmed what it was and that I had chosen and bought it myself and then was asked about an item in the other bag. I initially thought it might have been in my carry-on and I suddenly realised I hadn't it with me! Just as I had done a couple of months ago in EWR, I had left it behind me. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one carry-on may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose it twice looks like carelessness 
and in any case in an airport is a no-no but in Israel is an absolute no-no! I fully expected to be clapped in irons but the screener was very sweet when I went to retrieve it from the line behind me. Back to the bags. I couldn't remember about the item so had to open my bag and fortunately it was near the top. That done my bags were given a security clearance tag and I was free to go. At this stage over three quarters of an hour had gone and at long I was free to go to check-in which, because of the various hold ups was totally clear so that within a few minutes I was checked in, my bags tagged all the way through to Cork and both boarding passes handed to me. Ah, bliss! Now I could relax.Wrong!
Security was a breeze and I felt that I was on the home straight! That lasted until I entered the passport control hall. O MY GOD! If I thought it had been bad before this was infinitely worse. The place was jointed! Most of the booths were open but the lines were almost out of the door and moved at a snail's pace. Sod's Law decrees that whichever line I choose, that one will inevitably go so slow -almost to a standstill and so it did. At first it was not that noticeable but as we got nearer the front it became clear that the booths on either side were processing 4-5 couples to our one individual. At some stage the man processing our line left and was immediately replaced and we hoped that it would speed up a bit. It did marginally but there were two or three changes of personnel and we had to wait while they logged on or did whatever they had to do before dealing with whoever was at the desk while everyone else whizzed past on either side including Mr and Mrs B. And of course there was the mandatory screaming baby somewhere in the hall. Eventually it was my turn and I think I broke the speed record for that particular booth for the speed with which I was processed and at long last I was free to go to the departure area. I looked at my watch. It was nearly two hours since I had started the whole process - and that was with a priority line at the beginning! 
I almost staggered along to the Dan lounge and was a bit concerned that there was a queue to get in. I was however quickly admitted but it was very busy and hard to find a seat so no haven of tranquillity. Even the calling of two or three flights did nothing to ease the congestion. I didn't have anything to eat or drink there but caught up with some emails and then left just before any boarding announcement. At the gate it was light and airy and far more relaxing than in the lounge. I wished I had gone there first! Shortly after I arrived there was an announcement for those with young children or those needing help to come forward which was the signal for the whole area to get up followed by a call for First, Club World, Gold and Silver to go to a different door. Yay! Priority boarding - except we joined the others in the jetway.
I had been unable to do OLCI at T-24 and when I had been able to do so I was assigned 11J. I was happy with that as I had decided to look for an aisle seat since I had found the window seat somewhat claustrophobic once the screen was up. I was one of the first on board, was greeted by name and directed to my seat. Again I found it compared poorly with the suites when I was preparing for the flight. Apart from the lack of nooks and crannies to store what I needed I found it hard to stand in from the aisle in the same way as you can in the suite and found that I was either accidentally blocking the aisle or else access to the window seat. Finally I managed to settle, accepted a newspaper and, oh joy of joys! a glass of champagne (although I found the glass a bit ordinary for champagne) and looked around. Boarding on the opposite side of the plane and heading for the back of the bus was, guess who? Nope, not gingerflyer - I didn't know he was on this flight. It was my nemesis, Mr and Mrs B. I wonder what she would have said if she realised I had beaten her on to the flight!
We pushed back more or less on time and when they dimmed the lights for take off I found it very difficult to read my newspaper as I couldn't get the reading light to focus on the page. I'm sure there must be a knack to it but I couldn't find it and although I have at times railed against the lights in the suite - especially the ones from other people's suites how I wished I had one of them just then. Once the cabin crew were released to their duties they dispensed menus and then came with the drinks round. Yay! A drinks round! A missing component from my outbound flight. I was quite surprised though that the drinks were dispensed from a cart and that we were given miniatures and small cans of mixers. It was rather like my Aer Lingus flight in economy and I almost handed over €6 for them! The good news was that they had Tanqueray, the better news was that they had limes and the even better news was that they handed over two miniatures and two cans. The best news was that there was a second run and although I initially refused (I know! I know!) I changed my mind and squirrelled away two of each to enjoy on my arrival home. Well I had to keep an eye on how much I could drink as I was driving after my connecting flight and would be arriving well after the pubs shut, even in Ireland! I was also feeling a bit chilly and the CSD who was serving my side of the cabin very kindly brought down the blanket which was in the overhead bin and tucked it around me, bless him!
Menus had been dispensed earlier and a cabin crew came round to take orders. She fetched up alongside the guy on the other side of the aisle to me, asked his choices and then turned to me with a "Mr honey lamb, what can I get you tonight?"
MR honey lamb? MR honeylamb? OK so I was wearing jeans but I'm sure that a large proportion of the female passengers on board were also clad and I'm not exactly androgenous. She apologised profusely but really!! The choices were somewhat underwhelming. The starter seemed to be salad or salad. I knew pecorino was a cheese but was unsure about panzella so chose the gravlax which was OK. I had the beef which was good even if it was served in a bowl similar to one I had used many years ago to feed Aer John when he started on solids and afterwards had the cheese and port and was a bit disappointed that there was only 2 varieties of cheese. Overall the meal was no better nor worse than on a VS flight except there was only one dessert option besides cheese. With regard to the wine, the cabin crew assigned to be the sommelier arrived with a cart with a selection of wines but before I could ask about the selection he decided he was going to serve me champagne! I was in two minds about that. Normally I would have enjoyed a nice red but equally I was aware of my drive home so was happy not to add another blend into the mix and besides it was time to start quaffing water big time!After the meal I watched a bit of a TV program before choosing to read once more. However at that stage the cabin lights were put out and as I couldn't focus the light to be able to read I had no alternative than to join the others who were travelling to the Land of Nod courtesy of BA. I have to say I really loved that all I had to do was press a button and the seat slid down to form a bed instead of the palaver on a VS flight of flipping over the seat. I think I dozed somewhat and soon the lights were flicked on as we started our descent. The cabin was prepared for landing and soon we landed more or less on time into LHR.
Although from time to time I had managed to blag the VS ground crew into checking my bags all the way through to Cork this was the first time in a long time I had actually booked a through ticket. The reason for that had been that if there was any delay which caused me to miss my EI flight which was the last of the night, then it was up to BA to sort it out. On landing I headed off and caught the train from the B gates and then made my way to Flight Connections where a bus was waiting to take me to T1. It was a ten minute journey and during that time I suddenly realised that the cans of mixers I had brought off the flight were 150 mls. B*gger! Arriving at the T1 Flight Connections area I was the only one going to the ROI lane and I threw myself on the mercy of the security staff. I thought that I might well have a bottle of tonic at home but I wasn't sure. The screener, God bless his little cotton socks, realised that the cans had come off a flight and had already been screened and let them through. Common sense prevailed.
In no time at all I was in the area where the ROI flights depart. The inbound flight arrived late and departed about 20 minutes late. Thanks to the through-check my bags were among the the first to come through. For the first time ever in my experience there were customs officers waiting for this flight and aware I didn't have the EU green stripe on my baggage tags I headed for the Green channel as opposed to the Blue one where one of my bags was x-rayed. I arrived home just before 1am and decided I was too tired to enjoy the BA G&Ts and bed was the order of the day
The G&Ts were consumed the following day.
