This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
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(This is quite long, so bear with me).
Back in May I bagged a couple of Zs in the Upper Class sale for a trip for myself and my wife to visit friends in Boston, spend a few days with them on Martha's Vineyard then finish with three days in New York city.
I was very excited as I generally fly in economy and PE on business (I work for a cost conscious company) so the times that I have flown Upper Class have been airport upgrades. Clearly you can't have the pleasure of anticipation with those! My wife did not share the same anticipation. At the time I booked the tickets, my wife had assumed I was just going to use miles or a companion ticket (fat chance) but I had taken the initiative and got what was in my mind a great deal at ~£1,500 each return. My abiding memory when she found out was of her striding down the garden, steam coming out of her ears, trying to calm herself down. She had said, "You spent all that on a couple of plane tickets - I could have had a new sofa!" Oh dear.
Fast forward 3 months and the day came for us to get ready to go. I did OLCI with the excitement and trepidation that only a V-Flyer would understand - calm but frantic at exactly T-24. A perfect result... Seq 1 & 2 were secured and things were going well. I had booked DTCI on the good advice I received here as I wanted to go for the full "soup to nuts" experience.We arrived at LHR nice and early at 10:30am to be met by the Purple Parking man in the meet and greet lanes in front of T3. I explained that I wanted to go via DTCI and he said that he had been through it today for the first time. I replied: "Excellent - here are the keys, please drive us through." I hopped in the back and off we went round the loop. It is a little hard to find if you don't know exactly where the entrance is, so that worked out very well.
My new chauffer (ahem) drove us in and it is an impressive entrance with the great spherical sculpture hanging in the centre and the sweep of stainless steel posts - put there for security I'm sure, but quite stylish in their execution. There were the two burly suited security/porter chaps (aka Hale and Pace) who helped a bit with the luggage. As others have noted, they are not unpleasant, but neither are they particularly welcoming. We were the only people in the DTCI area and after a few moments with some confusion over whether we had 2 or 3 bags to check, we were off down the private security channel with our Upper Class boarding passes. They may be white instead of purple, but with Seq 1 and 2 on them, they are collectors items. One point others have made previously is about losing the Seq number on the bit of the boarding pass they keep. I'm not sure when the change was made, but they now have the Seq number on the stub as well as you can see in the picture below.
As we were going to stay with friends, my ever thoughtful wife had bought a lovely present. It was a Union Jack street party teapot with matching mugs. We had added in an amusing cheap tacky Kate and William tea towel, and to top-off the Britishness of the gift, a small pot of Marmite. My wife had wrapped it beautifully in a box including silver ribbon with a bow. A couple of days before we flew I said: "You had better take the Marmite out because they will want to scan it separately" So she dutifully unwrapped the gift and took out the small wrapped object from the box. For simplicity put it in our checked luggage.
So there we are in security and the lady behind the screen says: "Excuse me madam, do you have a pot of Marmite in there?" My startled wife says "No, I took it out." Much discussion goes on between them and as it was not busy at all, and the security team tend to be much friendlier in the PSC, the security lady let my wife go round the back to look at her screen and see the offending item. It certainly looks like a pot of Marmite says my wife! So the gift wrapping is peeled open again and out comes the 125g jar of "Love it or Hate it". My bemused wife is at this point still wondering what she had put in the checked bags. They offered to let us check the jar on its own - I think you can buy a small box for £6 and take it back to check-in. But it was not worth the effort so it ended up in the confiscated bin and off we finally went.
We were into the clubhouse within a few minutes and after selecting some seats at the far right end of the gallery, we went over to the spa to book some treatments; a massage for me and a manicure for my wife.
We went back to our seats and that's when it started. The first glass of champagne! We were served by a very pretty and attentive waitress and we were chatting to her about it being a special trip as it was our 23rd wedding anniversary that day.
The first glass of champagne went quickly and although the plan was to pace ourselves, my wife succumbed to a top up straight away. We had a late breakfast of eggs benedict with the smoked salmon option which was just perfect. As we sat there, I saw Lady Penelope with her special 21st birthday livery taxi past the CH. I'm not sure where she was going as the aircraft database shows no LHR departure that day - maybe she was just moving gates or going to check her tyre pressures and top up her oil
. I have to say I rather like the birthday suit and it will be a shame when she gets the new look. Although I wasn't to know at the time, we would fly back on Lady Penelope out of JFK as VS46 nine days later.We then popped out to have a browse round the shops and buy a couple of books. When we got back to the clubhouse 15 minutes later, I saw our waitress leaving our table and she had just put some drinks down. I assumed it was a mistake - we had not ordered anything - but when we got over to the table we were greeted by this wonderful sight!
Happy Anniversary was written in chocolate and topped with 3 raspberries. We think the cocktails were Cosmopolitans but weren't too sure. We drank them anyway (it would be rude not to) and jolly nice they were.
We had our treatments simultaneously - me in the massage chair at the back of the treatment area and her ladyship having her nails done just a table away. Pleasantly rubbed up and polished we strolled back to our table. We had about an hour before boarding so we had a light snack from the deli - some sushi and king prawns with a little salad washed down with, well, a glass of champagne.
Boarding was called shortly after 2:00pm and I waited for the second call before heading down to gate 19. There were quite a few people in the economy line for the ticket check but UC/Au line was working well so we went through quickly, Most of the other passengers had boarded so there was no queue which meant we could walk straight down the bridge to board Sweet Dreamer.
We were greeted with a smile and told to turn left down the aisle on the far side. Seats 4K and 5K were perfect (thanks to all here for the sound advice) and we were soon settled in with a glass of champagne. Our FA was the delightful Hannah (name request approved) and she explained to my wife how the seat worked. The flight was about 2/3 full and there were about 10 empty seats in UC, mostly in the G row in the centre. The captain announced that there were 216 passengers and 14 crew onboard and that our flight time to Boston would be 6hrs 48 mins. He said he expected push back at precisely "17 minutes past the hour" to get our slot, but in fact we pushed back 5 minutes before that. We taxied and waited for a fair while and finally took off 25 minutes later at 15:37.
Soon after the seatbelt light went out, drinks were served - I had a spicy bloody Mary with some olives, my wife had a glass of the Sauvignon blanc. As it was our anniversary, I thought I should surprise my wife with another card. So after my cocktail, I discreetly strolled up to the bar to have a word with Hannah and asked if it could be delivered as a surprise with our meal. We ate together at my seat, with my wife sitting on the ottoman. After the tablecloth had been laid and just before the starters arrived, a plate with the card and some Lily O'Briens chocolates was delivered. The mysterious card addressed my wife by name in an anonymous plain handwritten script. She was really excited and said: "Oooh - I wonder if this is a special gift from Virgin or some vouchers to spend on duty free gifts!" There was no gift at that point, but she was very pleased and amazed how I had organised it. (Its the thought that counts chaps!).
Lunch was very good, we both had the pea and basil risotto with king prawns followed by the seared fillet of salmon served on its crab "pillow" (Pretentious or what!). You can see the salmon in the picture above. I'm one of the world's non fussy eaters and considering they have to prepare this with limited equipment in the confines of a metal tube at 35,000 feet I have to say I think its very well done. We enjoyed some white wine with the meal and whilst my wife did not want desert, I had the cheese plate and a glass of port. Just the job.
After lunch my wife was keen to look at the duty fee catalogue and she chose a Links of London silver bracelet, and a little refillable travelling perfume thingy. This trip was getting expensive already and we had not even made it half way across the Atlantic!
I went for a stroll down the length of the plane for some exercise and when I got back, my wife wandered off for a bit, I thought to stretch her legs too. I had in mind to head to the bar with her when she returned. I read my book for a while and the ice creams came past, so I opted for this Lovington's Vanilla Caramel Duet. I was not very impressed - it says "A taste of the West Country" but by the look of the ingredients its more like "A Taste of the Chemical Factory".
My wife eventually turned up about 1/2 an hour later. I said do you fancy a trip to the bar and she said: "I've been sat there having a couple of coffees and chatting to the crew!" Despite this, I convinced her to return and we sat down on a couple of stools for a drink. I had a gin and tonic, she a glass of wine. As we chatted to the crew for a while and then there was a mild kerfuffle with an older American UC passenger. He, David as we found out later, was about 70 and a retired orthopaedic surgeon from Florida. He had a deal with his AmEx card whereby he could buy $200 worth of stuff and get it refunded - as long as the receipt was from Virgin Airways (sic). So there he is giving the crew a hard time because he's not sure if the receipt will say what he wants. Then he's complaining that they only have one bottle of Champagne, and they don't have the Whisky he liked ..and ...and .... Oh lord give me strength. The crew were marvellous - I'm sure all their "difficult passenger" training came into play. [What he really needed was a club on the head and to be locked in a closet for the rest of the flight, but I don't think they can do that to UC passengers, however difficult they may be]. The bar on a 346 is just 3 seats wide so all this is taking place is a fairly small area. My wife spoke to him and said why don't you by your wife a present. My wife proudly showed him her new solid silver Links bracelet, but he was not sure if she would like it. His wife appeared later and she was clearly not the cheery type. She was about 60, with unnatural looking dyed blond hair and no sign of a smile or a wrinkle - either she never smiled or she had had plastic surgery - I suspect both! Eventually he bought something and was happy that the receipt said Virgin Atlantic. I'm not sure the $200 was worth the angst he put himself through.
We chatted with David for a quite a while at the bar and once it was prised out, we found he did have a sense of humour. Although he was not keen to answer the somewhat direct question from my wife: "Do you love your wife?" After he went back to his seat, the crew member who had dealt with him so well earlier came over to us and commented on our incredible patience.
We stayed at the bar and had tea and sandwiches there and I sampled a delightful éclair. I know it was an éclair because it looked like one and tasted like one!
We headed back to our seats and soon after sitting down there was some turbulence so the seatbelt light came on. I had been drinking tea (and a few other things) so I felt the need for a trip to the loo. As I sat there contemplating my bladder, I recalled the similar experience Dr Vipond had on his journey to South Africa a while ago. I did not feel any better for it, but there is some solace in knowing others have been through that pain barrier too. Finally the light went off and I was up like a greyhound out of a trap. Immediate relief was had and I washed my hands. It was then that I had one of the most bizarre experience I have ever had on a plane. I went to pull out a paper towel but there were none visible. I know they sometimes don't drop down the dispenser properly, so I put my hand a short way up inside the unit. There was a rattle an out tumbled a box of Tampax straight into the soap suds still in the basin! I was so shocked, I did not know what to do. So naturally I got my phone out and took a picture to share my experience. Having dried my hands on some tissues, I walked out I spoke to a crew member to say that the towels had run out and " .... by the way a box of Tampax came tumbling out of the towel dispenser!" Not much more you can say really!
When we were chatting to Hannah later about the David episode (which was not at all booze related) she told us that when things got out of hand due to too much booze, it was generally much worse in the Upper cabin than further back on the aircraft. She also noted that her counterpart on the (looking after the A side) said to her, how come you have got all the nice friendly pax on your side of the aircraft and I've got all the grumpy miserable ones on mine! [My words here]. As has been said before, the crew work better and interact more freely with happy pleasant people.
With such an exciting and eventful trip I barely touched the IFE. I recall it worked fine as I used the imap at one point. I have therefore assumed it was excellent and marked it as such in the ratings bit!
We touched down at 17:35 taxied for quite a while then told that a Lufthansa a/c was on our stand - the captain apologised and told us that it "should have left 6 minutes ago" so we just have wait out here on the taxiway". A few minutes passed and this Lufthansa 747 was then pushed back from our gate.
As I collected my bits and pieces I foraged in the pocket beside my seat. For those of you who have used this, it is hard sided, narrow and deep - located under the IFE controller. I had retrieved my book, Sharps Extra Strongs and other paraphernalia and got to the bottom, I didn't recall the plastic handle I could feel so I fished it out and lo and behold there is a hard plastic tray that lives at the bottom of each one, so you don't lose those important little objects. Embossed on the bottom it says "Do not remove from aircraft". So I didn't
(Just discovered I can only upload 10 attachments at one time!)
We were on stand at 17:40 and very soon said our thank-you's and were off the plane. Were were very quickly through immigration, picked up our bags, said goodbye to David and Mrs Miseryguts and through the exit on the dot of 6:00pm to be met by our friends.
A great trip packed with memorable events. Looked after superbly by all VS staff on the ground and in the air.
Thanks for reading all the way to the end.
Martin
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