The downside of the Galleries Lounge is that, unlike the Clubhouse, you have to watch for boarding announcements on the board rather than have them announced. Fair enough - given that BA has such a wide network we would have been pestered constantly by announcements. In the fullness of time boarding flashed up and it was one of the gates reached by a train. This was done expeditiously and soon I was being welcomed on board by name and invited to turn right (Boo! Hiss!) to my seat in 10A. I quickly settled into the seat and after a while a glass of champagne was delivered to me. I really missed the chat with VS cabin crew that I have come to expect and enjoy as passengers filed past us on the way to their seats at the back of the bus. The flight was very full and soon we were all boarded and ready for our 13.5 hour flight. Doors closed for an on-time departure and soon we were trundling along to the runway nearest the Bath Road. With a quick wave at the Aer Lingus plane which would have recently arrived from Cork we were soon in the air and on my way to my South American adventure.
Shortly after that the tenor of the flight was determined as the guy in the seat over whose legs I was to scramble to get out of my seat, flattened his seat immediately after the seat belt sign was turned off and snuggled up under his blanket for the night. Before he cuddled down I begged to be allowed to go to the loo on the grounds that I shouldn’t have to disturb him during the night. He grudgingly granted permission and my heart sank. It was going to be one of those nights! I felt it in my bones!! Especially as I stumbled over his legs on my return. Shortly after he settled down there was a drinks round. The G&T was a Gordon’s but on the second run I asked if there was any Tanqueray (well after all it was available on my TLV flight 2 years ago) and Lo and Behold, there was. Dinner consisted of a salmon starter with salad
While this was happening I fired up the auld IFE, established that we were going nowhere near the south coast of Ireland to wave to the folks at home (well it was a long shot) and decided to watch Ted which was OK-ish. However when it, and the meal, was over honey lamb had a pressing need to visit the facilities once more which needed another scramble over yer man’s legs and of course, I stumbled! And on the way back! And on each occasion he rose up like a king cobra ready for the attack!! Urrggh!!! After that episode I decided the best thing I could do was settle down for the night but I was concerned that Sod’s Law would dictate that the fact that I was reluctant to go to the loo would mean that within the hour I would be absolutely bursting to do so!!
I must say I did like the way that I only needed to flatten the seat in order to convert it to a bed rather than flip it over as one does on both VS and SQ and soon I was cosily curled up ready for sleep. Oh, before I forget, I should mention that I had been rather naughty and had brought with me a VS sleep suit (freshly laundered by me) and had changed into it before the loo debacle had started. So, suitably dressed and nicely ensconced in my seat, I soon found myself in the arms of Morpheus where I remained for the next five hours. That, for me is a good night’s sleep but if I had been at home I would have gone to the bathroom and with a bit of luck, have drifted off to sleep, or at least snoozed for a bit. Similarly if I had been in a VS suite. However, while there was no pressing need for me to visit the washroom, the fact that I felt I couldn’t in case I fell yet once more on yer man’s legs (and the odds were on that I would) made me reluctant to even try. There was another three hours to go in the flight and I felt I could hang on and so the iPad was my friend. The cabin crew, seeing I was awake, came round with a selection of juices and water which was what I really needed and accordingly she went up in my estimation.
When the flight had commenced my window blinds were up and I had never considered lowering them for the simple reason it was pitch dark as we were going over the Atlantic and still so after I had woken. As the flight progressed dawn began to break and as I was on the east side of the aircraft I revelled in it. The colours were glorious but the next moment the cabin crew came around asking me to lower the blinds as some people couldn’t sleep! Well neither could I and FFS there was less than two hours to go but if I had refused, no doubt I would have been overridden and the blinds slammed down. I wouldn’t have minded so much but the map was showing we were nearing the Iguazzu Falls and I wanted to see them from the air!
About half an hour after that, the lights went on and breakfast service commenced. By this time, the need to visit the loo which I had managed to suppress for the last hour or so was getting somewhat urgent and a quick peek showed my nemesis was no longer in his seat. Result!! Now was the time to retrieve my clothes and change from my VS sleep suit. The only problem was that in the absence of overhead bins in the centre of the cabin and of ottomans such as are in the VS cabin I was getting into difficulties. Suddenly a knight in shining armour, or more correctly, jeans, a t-shirt and linen jacket and looking like sex on legs appeared by my side and helped me getting all the things I needed to change. Alas I was on the side where there was only washroom and that had been just occupied so I skirted through the galley to the other side where there were two washrooms. I really dislike going through the galley. At least in VS there is the area alongside the bar. In the fullness of time one of the washrooms became vacant and I rapidly changed, freshened up and returned to my seat whereupon my knight in shining armour sorted out my things again. My nemesis was there in situ and indeed had been the person who had vacated the washroom. Being the person that I am, I felt the need to apologise for disturbing him during the night. In fairness he was graciousness itself and apologised for his bad temper about being disturbed and acknowledged that I would have had difficulty in climbing over his legs. He stated that he had asked for a window seat so as not to be disturbed and my thoughts were that if that were the case why didn’t he spend the money to ensure it would be so!!
Breakfast was served. There was juice, fruit, cereal and a cooked breakfast on offer. After my experience of half cooked sausages on a flight from AMS a year ago I was wary of the sausages and indeed the entire meal but it was not swimming in fat as on that occasion and was fine but I avoided the sausages!
Shortly after that we arrived in EZE and fetched up beside a Lufthansa 747. I breathed a prayer to the Almighty that this flight had landed well ahead of ours and would be well through immigration before we we were. Alas the Almighty was slightly hard of hearing, or had been displeased about something I had done in His service in our local church as the Immigration Hall was heaving. We had landed at 8:15 am and I reckoned it would be at least 9am before we were through. As we queued I was a aware of a beeping sound and as I got near the end of the queue I realise that there was a marker indicating which line was free. I thought it was great. Instead of scanning the lines to see which kiosk was free, we just had to look at the number. As the lines progressed it was obvious that the immigration officers were asking where they were staying as people were pulling out sheafs of printed itineraries - something I had ditched years ago!! And my problem was that the first hotel had been booked by Chris who was now waiting in the baggage hall as I had seen the Delta aircraft at its stand. I hadn’t a clue of where we were staying! OK, i had booked the Mendoza hotel but that was a week or so later and if they asked to see my eticket I’d be scuppered! The only hotel I knew we were staying in in Buenos Aires was the Axel Hotel which is a gay hotel where Chris wanted to stay. I apologise to all my gay friends for the next bit but it was a question of “needs must” and no disrespect to you. When I was pressed for where I was staying, after professing my ignorance and getting nowhere I had to scroll down my emails and come up with the Axel. I wasn’t ashamed of it but I was cross by the reaction it provoked. There was a general “Ho, ho, ho” which was swapped around the immigration staff. Whether I was straight or gay it really didn’t warrant that reaction. I was let through and immediately re-united with Chris who had retrieved my bag from the belt. It had to be scanned once more by customs and soon we were out and looking for our driver and the having to negotiate the traffic to our apartment for the next week
