We had a plan for the day; we would go to church in the cathedral, visit the Museum of Latin American Art and the Evita Museum and on the way back shop for souvenirs. We would stroll to the museums, window-shopping as we went but we wouldn’t burden ourselves down with purchases since we would be returning the same way. So did the day go to plan? Read on, dear reader, read on.
We started off as planned with 10 o’clock mass in the cathedral and on exiting we found that there was some kind of ceremony going on in the old city hall across the Plaza which included soldiers marching, singing and finally firing off a volley of gunfire.
We made our way to the main drag, Avenida 9 de Julio and sauntered along enjoying the sights, 
It was a dirty brown with fish heads all over it and truly ugly. At this stage the street was tree-lined and Chris was a few feet ahead of me when I felt a “Splat!” on my leg. I looked down, saw some green goo on my leg and instinctively knew we were being robbed. I called out to Chris who closed ranks with me and I clutched my handbag closer to me. I should say at this point that this bag has a zip at the top and I always carry it with the tag of the zip in front of me so that no-one can open it from behind me. Almost instantly a woman appeared from nowhere clutching a wad of tissues and a bottle of water and started mopping me up! I protested but she insisted and hauled me to the side of the road where there were large rubbish bins. She continued to mop and discovered extra areas where the supposed bird had splatted me. All I can say is that if it were a bird then it must have had the largest bowel in the avian world plus a prolonged bout of diarrhoea. Not only that, it had a phenomenal range as it managed to hit Chris’s back even though he had been a few feet ahead of me and also get into my hair even though I had been wearing a hat! 
At this point the man with the ugly shirt joined us and also helped with the mopping up exercise and I kept clutching my bag. There came a point where we had to let go of both our bags and instinctively we threw them out of reach onto a patch of grass which was surrounded by a foot high fence but at this stage the two decided that their errand of mercy was at an end and kissing us both goodbye ran off together and hopped into a taxi which was parked nearby and drove off. We immediately retrieved our bags and sure enough my purse was gone. I don’t know how or when it had been taken, but taken it had been and with it, 600 Argentinian pesos, £5 and the $1 which had been the change from the duty free in Chile! Oh and my Visa debit and credit cards! 
Somewhat shell-shocked, we stood and looked at each other and after a couple of minutes Chris asked what did I want to do now. I knew how much he wanted to visit the museums but in all honesty, all I wanted to do was to go back to hotel and cancel my cards and I said so.
Also at the back of my mind was the worry that the key-card was also in the purse and that they would gain access to my room. Chris pointed out that it was a small, niche hotel and that I had had issues with the key-card and so they would remember me if they tried to get access. Nonetheless I just wanted to get back and so we retraced our footsteps, me feeling all kinds of a heel about aborting our plans. We reached Florida Street which is a pedestrianised street and part of the main tourist area and as we passed a gelato place, Chris suggested that we get an ice cream - as you do when you’ve just been robbed!! Eventually it was our turn and when we explained what had happened we were told that we needed to go to another station as the crime had happened in the area of another precinct. Off we trudged to the next place (and spotting this
Eventually we were told that we needed to go to another precinct at which point Chris blew his top and I burst into tears! No doubt the sergeant felt sorry for us because the next thing was he organised a cop car to bring us to the next station. On our way Chris pointed out the exact place where we had been robbed and the police station was just around the corner!! Once there we found again that no-one spoke English and the translator was dealing with another couple who had been robbed in another station! By this time it was now two hours since we had first tried to make the report and I was concerned about what was happening to my credit/debit cards. In the fullness of time the translator rang back and insisted on talking to Chris even though I was the victim! He made a statement and just as it had been typed up in Spanish, the translator arrived. She was the lady who had dealt with the couple in the first station! Obviously a busy day for her. Once the formalities had been completed we took a taxi back to the hotel and I dashed up to my room to check my things and fortunately all was well. At this stage I should say that when I go on holiday, I have two purses. Left in my room was my wallet which had my Euros, a Mastercard and all of my other ID and health cards. That was checked and to my relief my Euros were intact. I had all of €9.45 cent to get me back home and my Mastercard.
My next action was to call the credit card company and cancel my Visa credit and debit cards. During the conversation the agent was able to tell me that there had been one transaction on the credit card within the last two hours. I was able to inform her that we had actually been moving about between police stations at that point and also the last transaction I had made on the card. Anything after that was fraudulent. While she was able to stop my debit card she could not tell me if it had been used but I felt that at least it had been stopped. The dear lady was lovely. She was sympathetic, professional and very reassuring but alas had a killer blow up her sleeve! Much comforted by her, I was beginning to sign off with visions of resuming our souvenir shopping returning and said, “Ah well, at least I have my Mastercard” Wrong! Very, very wrong!! The two cards were linked to the same account so cancel one, you cancel the other! So there was I with €9.45 to my credit, a hotel already paid for with breakfast included. From there I would be cared for by British Airways, I was going to be met in Cork and all I really needed was the price of a G&T on Aer Lingus! Shopping was obviously cancelled (and I had espied some delightful things which would have readily doubled as Christmas pressies) All that was needed was to get through that night! Oh yes, and I also had a shower as the said “bird” had splatted me with something that smelled of dill pickle and the hot water in the shower revived the smell once more. I HATE dill pickle!! 
When we had checked in to the hotel we had been told that there was a tea-dance every Sunday afternoon by the pool. Well. to me a tea-dance suggests something involving people whose actual age would be the same as mine but whose mental age would be 20+ years older
(or else mine is 20+ years younger) and much as I like dancing and “proper” dancing at that, I just wondered how it would work. I was soon to find out. Chris had long since disappeared downstairs while I had been on the phone not only to the credit card people but also to Aer John to let him know what had happened as well as showering. When I joined him there was a T&T with my name on it followed by another and another and another and.....
All the while I was in the bar I had been posting on Facebook and many of you were following my predicament including my eldest niece who rapidly decided that Chris was THE ONE and rapidly had to be disabused of that notion. Chris did it in his own inimitable way, letting her down gently. I think his word was something along the lines of “EEEEEUUUUUUWWWWWW!!!!!”
However the vibe there was great and a complete antidote to the afternoon’s event. 
Against all the odds I slept well that night, no doubt thanks to the copious amounts of T&T I had quaffed
and woke ready to face the day and my trip home. I showered and packed and before going to check if Chris was in the land of the living decided to check my bank account on-line. I was aware that there had been one transaction on my credit card but I was to learn that they had gone berserk with my debit card! My pension, which is paid on a two-weekly basis, had been entered into my account on the Friday but by the Monday it had been removed in its entirety! Up till then I had been fine but the shock hit me like a ton of bricks and I just wanted to go home. I tried to call the bank but after a series of “Press #1 for x, press #2 for y” I was informed that my call could not be connected and I just felt helpless! Chris arrived but there was little either of us could do at that stage. We went to breakfast but the food just stuck in my throat and I could barely eat. I was being picked up at 12 noon and Chris suggested a walk would do us good as we would both be cooped up in aircraft for long stretches over the next 24 hours or so and so we headed off. The fresh air certainly cleared my head if not my spirits and when my car arrived half an hour early I decided to leave for the airport and bade goodbye to Chris whose flight was several hours later.The trip to Ezeiza was quickly accomplished as the roads were relatively traffic-free. I grabbed a trolley, loaded up my bags and headed for the Club World check-in. There was only one desk open and a family was checking in and seemed to take for ages but as the line behind me started to grow another desk was opened and I was dealt with by as pleasant a lady as you could wish for.
She checked my bags through to AMS (more about that later) and directed me to security and passport control and thence to the lounge which was going to be in the AA Admiral’s Club. I found Passport Control and Immigration in South America easy wherever I went thanks to their system of having one line and the number of the next vacant desk being flashed up on a screen although a priority line would have been nice. No second-guessing which will be the shortest queue (only to have it turn out to be the longest) Although the line was long it moved quickly. However just as I was in mid-processing my exit, the computer in the booth crashed and I had to be sent to another one. 
The fact I was in mid-process caused a bit of a difficulty but it was quickly sorted and I was through to head for the lounge. Of course, any “good” airport makes sure that you exit from security into the duty-free section and EZE was no exception. It must be said that generally I don’t bother with duty-free (except perhaps to check the price of gin!) but of course because I had no way of paying for it, it suddenly became mega-attractive! 
In Ezeiza there is a lot of refurbishment in progress. The International terminal is new but the passages to the lounge were boarded up with the occasional duty-free outlet rigged up with goods piled up on the floor as if in a warehouse!
At one point I arrived at some gates for domestic flights and I began to wonder if I were in the right place but eventually I found the Admiral’s Lounge. It seemed quite small and there were a few people in there already. I helped myself to some champagne but the food offerings seemed to be a bit meagre especially when there was no sign of cheese and biscuits that others seemed to have. At this stage, I was in full-blown shock, shivering and feeling nauseous and wondering if I would be able to cope with the flight and I really didn’t know what to do. Even a sip of champagne was too much - that’s how bad I was! At some point I became aware that a phone was ringing and that indeed it was mine. Now, nine times out of ten, unless it is sitting beside me, the phone goes into voicemail before I can reach it, be it across the room or in my bag but this was one of the rare times I could retrieve it before then. It was the Fraud Department of the bank. They had noticed some suspicious activity on my current account and had seen that my debit card had been stopped and please could they discuss it with me? Of course they could! To h*ll with the roaming charges and anything else. As we talked the weight on my shoulders lifted, nausea disappeared and after the call ended, double doors near me opened, leading me to an area where cheese and biscuits abounded! All I can say is, God bless the vigilant Fraud departments wherever they are - I really needed those cheese and biscuits and more champagne!! I sent a message to Chris to tell him of what had happened. He replied with an astonishing piece of information. He had gone to Florida Street to do some shopping and had come face to face with our robbers. He recognised them but they also recognised him and high-tailed it off before he could shout “Stop! Police!” or words to that effect! In the fullness of time I decided that I needed to move towards the gate as the lounge seemed to be at the opposite end of the terminal (and possibly in a different terminal altogether) and I was unsure as to whether the flight would be announced. I need not have worried on that account as, just as I arrived at the door the concierge reached for the microphone, clicked it on and announced the departure of the flight. Although the walk through the boarded up area seemed shorter, there was still the trudge through the duty-free area and given that I was both cash and card-free, the siren call was almost deafening!! At the gate there was a priority line but I took a brief detour as there was a small treat there for me - the LAN Dreamliner was on the next stand.
With one last envious glance at the Dreamliner I went through the priority channel and was greeted and welcomed to board. It was as good as any VS but nothing special - after all I was only a lowly Bronze. We joined a queue in the jet bridge and there was a very pleasant interlude there with an English group who had visited similar places to us as we chatted while waiting to board. I was welcomed on board and directed to my seat which I had pre-booked in 2A, although I had swithered between an aisle and a window seat given the weird configuration BA uses in Club World. The minute I arrived at my seat I was accosted by a French woman who begged to be allowed to take my seat so that she could be face to face with her mother who would be on the other side of the divide to me. Now, I’m one of those people who won’t say no if I can possibly say yes and at this stage the fact that I had shelled out £70 for the privilege of sitting in 2A was furthest from my mind (well I had saved over £1K to fly via AMS so £70 was chickenfeed) but I started to think long and hard about changing. I know I was being influenced by my awful experience on the outbound when I kept tripping over the legs of the guy on the outside seat but I really love a window seat. However the dear lady took my hesitation as being a “No” even before I could think of the perfectly acceptable excuse that I had paid for it. However it didn’t stop me feeling all kinds of a heel. We Irish/Catholics love guilt trips!!
Fortunately the cabin crew sorted it out to everyone’s satisfaction.The crew came around with amenity kits,
While all this was going on I was trying to load the map feature mainly because on the inbound flight we had flown over the Iguazu Falls and I wanted to see if we did on this occasion and to try and see what they looked like from the air. Try as I might I couldn’t get it to work and said so to the cabin crew who was totally disinterested.
OK, stuff happens and it’s not the end of the world if the map doesn’t work but it’s a feature I like and I was used to VS staff trying to reset it and perhaps offering to move me to another seat if there was one available (which wasn’t an option on this flight) but the response was a shrug of the shoulders and I was made to feel all kinds of a heel for even querying it. I think I watched a couple of TV shows as there were no films that excited me and spent the rest of the time reading. At some stage another cabin crew came round with an offer of drinks and I had one last G&T before settling down for the night. ![][|)](./images/smilies/icon_smile_sleepy.gif "Sleepy"){kind=icon}
My flight had left at 14.40 local time and I had immediately adjusted my watch to UK time of 17.40 so that by the time the meal service was over it was approaching 9pm and people were beginning to settle for the night. I wasn’t ready to do so but decided to visit the loo before the guy over whose feet I was going to have to step bedded down for the night. I was so traumatised from the inbound flight that I was terrified of needing to use the facilities during the night. He however was very sweet that I felt immensely reassured that all would be well - and it was. I read for a bit and then at about 10pm UK time snuggled up. I must say in all honesty the fact that you can just push a button to lie flat is so much simpler than flipping seats than you have in VS and SQ and soon I was cuddled up - and I was in my VS sleep suit! Because of all that had happened in the last 36 hours I doubted I would sleep but the call from the Fraud Department had lifted a huge weight from my shoulders and the fact that I was homeward bound helped and soon I was in the land of Nod.
Some five hours later I awoke. Result!!! Buuuuut!!!! I needed the loo!! I was terrified! Was yer man going to rise up hissing like a king cobra like the guy on the first flight? Was I going to fall on top of him and scare the wits out of him? Tentatively I stood up and as delicately as I could stepped over his legs with nary a ruffle of his blanket. Much reassured (and relieved) I returned to my seat and the BA CW obstacle course. OMIGOD, I had won the gold medal! I hadn’t even stirred the air over him! I resisted the urge to hop back and over his legs a few times and settled down once more. I snoozed for a time but really wasn’t going to go back to sleep so after a while I gave up and started to read. Within a few minutes a cabin crew was by me offering me juice or water and water was the order of the day. It reminded me of my first PE flight with VS where the same thing had happened. I snuggled under my blanket and read and the dear lady was totally attentive. It was near breakfast time, would I like some orange juice? Yes please. We’ll be starting breakfast shortly, tea or coffee? Coffee, please. I was beginning to get a tad uneasy as it was getting near to an hour on landing and there was no sign of breakfast being served although the most delightful smells were wafting through the cabin. I changed out of my sleep suit and shortly after I returned to my seat. Breakfast was OK although I avoided the sausages after the disaster a couple of years ago when I was physically sick following a BA brekkie on an AMS-LHR leg prior to the LHR-SFO leg on VS. Soon the usual bustle of preparing for landing started. Just like on my VS flights, the IFE was switched off and head sets gathered. Because CW doesn’t have the nooks and crannies that the VS suites have, there was much to-ing and fro-ing in the cabin as people stored their prized possessions in the overhead bins. Soon the familiar London skyline appeared and we were back in LHR only to taxi to a remote stand where buses awaited us! My feeling about that was - how come you can build a brand new terminal for your exclusive use, still use gates in T3 and T1 and still need remote stands? As they say on exam papers “Discuss” 
On second thoughts, don’t!
