I was going to just buy my ticket but the return leg from JNB was over £1700 so I decided to use my miles. I missed out on the points sale by a couple of days so used full whack to get my tickets to sunny South Africa. I also had a free upgrade to PE but there were no reward seats (make that no seats at all) available so stayed in Economy for this leg.
Hit the check in button as OLC opened and ended up yet again with sequence number 5.
Left earlyish on the National Express coach from South Wales for a pleasant putter up the M4 and an early afternoon arrival at LHR where I was soon joined by my youngster for a couple of liquid relaxants. Once he went off to catch the tube, I made my way through Security for a wander around Duty Free but kept my wallet securely tucked away in my pocket – it is still trying to recover from the November visit to the LGW DF, to say nothing of the way my wife boosted VA’s profits on the return leg.
Boarding was done smoothly in the correct order and us peasants in Economy followed UC, PE and all those of you with your brightly coloured memberships. All 150 + crew were soon settled comfortably, especially in the back. UC was a little more than half full, PE was bursting at the seams and Economy was empty with plenty of empty rows.
As we taxied out, I was asked –“ for CoG reasons” – to leave my seat over the wing and to sit next to another chap at the door. Decided there and then to get that diet kick-started a.s.a.p.
The take-off run was long and slow and then a bit gnarly until we got above the rain and clouds. Once the seat belt signs were turned off, I went back to my seat and my new travelling companion grabbed a couple a few rows back.
I think a number of pax must have ignored the seat belt signs and nabbed empty rows of 4 before they were turned off as everything had been taken by the time we moved back.
The flight was brilliantly smooth all the way through to central Africa with none of the forecast winds which were meant to be slowing us down.
But first, food and drink. I was not expecting a drinks round seeing as departure was well after 7pm but the CC came round and took drinks orders. They were taking orders and then fetching the drinks from the galley rather than pushing the cart around.
Once that was over, dinner was served:
Menu /Actual
Starter:
Greek Salad / Pasta Salad (I suppose Greece and Italy are not that far apart so the food could be easily confused)
Main
Beef Paprika Stew with mashed potatoes, blanched carrots and roasted baby marrow / Oily beef mince with the smallest pieces of, I think, diced carrot (there were only 2 that I could see) all covered with a tasteless piece of leftover rubber. No idea what it actually was.
Dessert
Caramel mousse with chocolate crumb top / Gű Chocolate Banoffee Pot. Way too sweet for me.
Still, the red wine washed it down very nicely.
The Vera system sort of worked but the flight map soon packed up. Watched a couple of TV programmes but it was basically a shortened list of what we had had on the 747 in November so my Nook came in quite handy and I was able to catch up on some reading.
It was really warm on the flight and in the early hours I was starting to feel quite ill with it and I wandered down to the back and asked one of the CC if they could turn it down just a tad. She said they had been trying all flight and it was up and down and they were struggling to control it. They must have got it right because a few minutes after settling down again, it became noticeably cooler and stayed that way for the duration.
Over Central Africa, it started getting quite bumpy and there were some quite spectacular light shows around. I enjoy watching the storms but I know others dont so I usually just sneak the odd look (blinds down, please). Just before the first rays of dawn, we really hit some heavy turbulence and danced around the skies for what felt like about 5 minutes but probably was a lot less. Thank goodness I am a bit of a wierdo and enjoy it when we get bounced around a little. It helps to relieve the tedium of long haul overnight flights.
Soon it was time for brekkie and I decided to take the healthy option (after all, I was responsible for disrupting the CoG, wasn’t I????) and asked for the omelette. The CC looked at me aghast and said that was the veggie option and surely I would prefer a Full English. I said no, I was happy with the omelette (I actually enjoy an omelette now and again and the accompaniments looked tasty). She was quite adamant though and as I am a softy at heart and couldn’t bear to see the alarm in her eyes, I changed and went for the Full English. She seemed quite relieved and grateful so I am pleased to have made someone happy.
The menu was slightly inaccurate because bacon was not mentioned but did turn up in the dish. No baked beans, however. Suited me as I prefer my beans on toast for dinner and not for breakfast.
During descent, I was again asked to go and sit at the door (well, I had eaten dinner and breakfast by now so I must have been having an enormous impact on the CoG). The other guy was also told to move his butt back to his seat by the door for landing and it was while we were chatting that I discovered that he had spent 15000 miles less on his tickets two days after I bought mine (mutter, mutter, grumble). We were soon on the ground and quickly through immigration and customs into a very hot OR Tambo airport to wait for the flight to Durban.
Altogether, nothing special but a pleasant flight, helped by the extra legroom seat I had purchased when I booked and the empty seat next to me which let me stretch out a bit.
Apologies for the wordiness.
Edited to put in the scores:
Aircraft (A340-600 Bubbles) 5/5
Crew 4/5
Entertainment 2/5
Food 2.5/5
Ground staff 3/5
