When you last heard of me, I had arrived in JNB after a perfectly satisfactory flight on Comair (operated under BA livery etc.) with a boarding pass for LHR but none for my onward flight to Cork as the agent had been unable to check me in. My first quest therefore was to the BA desk to see if it could be done there, but alas it was not to be. I was extremely miffed at this stage given that my ticket was a BA codeshare on EI. However there was nothing I could do but proceed on through to the departures lounge.
There was a longish queue for security but it moved swiftly as did the emigration procedures and after about 10 minutes I was free to head for the lounge. I cast a wistful glance towards the VS Clubhouse as I had really liked the one in JNB and found my way to the BA Galleries Lounge.Once there, I was warmly welcomed and, as I was flying in CW for this leg took the entrance to the right whereas those flying in F turned left, no doubt practising for when they board the plane. In the lounge there was a long buffet with hot dishes of soup and various curries, salads and cold cuts and snacks as well as a self serve bar. This led to a large seating area - although seating and tables and chairs were on the opposite side of the buffet. There was no champagne visible and no staff from whom one could request it.
I helped myself to some cheese and biscuits and a glass of white wine, which seems to be my default choice in self-service lounges! At this stage the lounge was quiet and I logged on to the EI Facebook page to see if I could find out why I couldn’t check in for my on-going flight to Cork. In fairness, the FB page was being monitored and I was quickly asked for the details of the flight. However, just after I had posted them the wifi went down! The desk said they would reboot it but after that it never worked. After about an hour after I approached them, it was announced that there was a problem with the wi-fi and that they would be doing a reboot. Heaven knows what they had been doing in that intervening hour! In the meantime, I had tried to log on to the airport wi-fi but without success. Grrrr!! 
While this was going on the lounge continued to fill up and because the plane was an A380 it became very busy especially as passengers for the later flight were also arriving in the lounge. An elderly couple in wheelchairs were trundled in by airport staff, helped into their seats and then the airport staff left. No-one from the lounge came next or near them so I offered to get them something which they gratefully accepted. Eventually people began to drift off towards the gate and the airport staff came for the elderly couple and I decided that I too would leave. It was not a pleasant stay but then, have I ever had a pleasant stay in a BA lounge?
Approaching the gate it seemed as if the whole population of Jo’burg was converging into that area. It didn’t help that Air France had a flight departing from the next gate and Lufthansa one from the gate further on! At the BA gate there were separate corrals for Economy and CW and BAEC members entitled to priority boarding. (I didn’t see one for First but I assume that they were summoned from the lounge when boarding was nearly complete.) It was pretty uncomfortable there as there was nowhere to sit as all the seats had been nabbed by people not entitled to lounge access - and given that, who would begrudge them that smidgeon of comfort? Eventually boarding was called for priority boarding. The gate was manned by two agents who, having checked the passport and boarding pass, the directed us either to the right or left lane depending on whether we were on the upper or main deck. I was on the upper deck and as most were being directed to the opposite lane, it was a quick trot to the door where I was warmly welcomed and invited to turn left. Quite right too! After all DYKWIA!
I made my way to my window seat which, thanks to a tip from vegascrazy, was *fanfare of trumpets* one of those that you don’t have to clamber over someone’s legs to go to the loo! RESULT!!
Other than that it was the same CW seat that is in the rest of the fleet. Nothing special for the A380 then. I was no sooner in place when the cabin crew was alongside me with a tray of drinks and of course, champagne was chosen. The cabin filled up quickly including the passenger on the other side of the divide to me - a very personable young man who made me wish I was 40 years younger! 
However, all too soon after take-off, the divider went up and it was to remain that way until coming in to land. Ah well! After take-off and hot towels had been handed out there was the drinks round. At this point the true advantage of the seat came to light. Rather than the drinks being served from an invisible hand over the divider or, from the point of view of the guy in the aisle seat, having the annoyance of the divider whooshing up and down and my drinks/meal/whatever being passed within millimetres of his nose, the cabin crew was able to come into my seating area and hand it to me direct. Much, much nicer. I should however mention that there is a down side to these seats; because they were at the end of a cabin zone they were very near the galley. There were other CW zones in both the upper and lower deck with similar seats but if they weren’t next to the galley then they were next to the toilets and the latter were also near bassinet positions.
I thought long and hard about which to take but figured that, apart from the meal services the galleys were likely to be quiet on a night flight and there was more potential for disruption near the toilets. OK, so it was noisy pre-meal service but once that was over, it really was quiet. Right! The drinks round. A Tanqueray and tonic was soon in my possession, followed by a second one.
Oh, before I forget, amenity kits were also handed out and they had been “enhanced” since my last CW flight. On that flight contents had been in a sturdy zipped pouch which has since been pressed into service by me to hold things such tablets, antiseptic wipes, plasters and other things medicinal brought on a trip “just in case”.
This has now been morphed into a flimsier version of the VS shoe bag and while the contents remain the same - Elemis toiletries - there is no way I would find a use for the bag, unlike my trusty VS ones which I use all the time I am travelling.
OK, back to the service. The menu was OK-ish on paper.
I wasn’t particularly gone on the starters and reflected that VS give you a choice of three in UC. I wasn’t keen on the vegetarian one and to me tuna is synonymous with funerals! Before you ask, I work behind the scenes in my local church preparing for services, taking bookings for weddings and christenings, and a whole lot of admin stuff. It’s a busy church and sometimes there is little time after the morning’s work before an afternoon funeral so I nip over to the store across the road to grab a sandwich and invariably it’s only tuna and sweetcorn that’s available!
Therefore with ill grace I chose the tuna option. I need not have worried. It was gorgeous and was as far removed from a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich as fillet steak is from mince! Speaking of fillet steak, that was my main course choice as I’d had my fill of hake recently (and I really couldn’t imagine the pairing of fish and chorizo
) and it was tasty if a bit unimaginatively presented and washed down with a rather nice merlot. There was only one thing to drink with that and that was champagne! It was a double celebration as, for the first time ever, I had had a good meal in CW!! In fact, if it had not been for the tasting menu on the outbound, I would have said the best meal I had ever had on a BA flight. Mind you, the bar had been very low up till then!I hadn’t really used the IFE. There was nothing to grab me so, after the meal I watched a couple of TV shows (don’t ask me what) before sticking the earplugs in (the ones from the outbound as earplugs are not on offer in CW!) and settling in but not before a visit to the loo. Omigod, the loo!
On the outbound, I stated that the First class loos were on a par with the UC ones - no bigger, no smaller. Perhaps better toiletries but your bog standard (if you’ll pardon the pun) aircraft loo. It had been the same in J with Singapore and Emirates. So imagine my surprise when entering the loo in the CW cabin on the upper deck at the front of the aircraft, that I found it big enough to hold a cocktail party! Well that is a bit of an exaggeration (and possibly a wrong choice of word) but it was big and what I would have expected in First. Apart from the fact that two or three people could have comfortably fitted into the place (and enjoyed their time there! ) it was certainly wheelchair friendly from a space point of view although it wasn’t a fully accessible handicap toilet as there were no grab handles etc., that one finds there. There was a recess into the fuselage next to the sink with a leather covered and padded small bench. Over it was a legend to say that it was there to assist changing. It was perfect for nappy-changing but also a useful place to put clothes/sit down/place toilet bag. I was mightily impressed but that wasn’t all! The cover of the toilet seat was similarly bedecked. It all screamed First Class and I just wondered how BA got it all wrong. Not that I was complaining, mind! Or was I hallucinating? I don’t think so.My head still reeling from the shock, I made my way back to my seat and settled down for the night. Earplugs in, seat flattened, the pathetic offering of a cover over me and in no time honey lamb was away with the fairies! And remained that way for the next few hours! Whaddya know! Not once did I need to use the facilities. If I had had to clamber over someone’s leg you can bet your bottom dollar I would have been up and down like a yo-yo!
When I did stir with the intention of turning over for another snooze, I realised the lights were back on in the cabin. We were somewhere over the south of France so time to get up! The cabin crew, seeing I was awake popped in to ask if I wanted breakfast and quickly provided orange juice and coffee. I chose the cooked breakfast sans sausage since one on an AMS-LHR flight had rendered me pretty poorly on my onward SFO flight many moons ago - I wasn’t going to take that risk again! To be honest, I really only picked at the food. I wasn’t that hungry and in any case, at home I potter around for a bit, feeding cats and doing a few minor chores before breakfast. I’m not one to rush at the day so I really wasn’t ready for brekkie! Shortly after that the cabin was prepared for landing and I was left to muse on my experience in CW for this flight. Not having to climb over anyone’s leg made a huge difference to my attitude to the seat. OK, the drop-down footstool facing the seat is unattractive but apart from that, the fact that the cabin crew were able to come into the seat area and serve you as opposed to handing stuff over the divider to you or whisking it past the nose of the poor passenger sitting in the aisle seat, made a huge difference and as a window seat it was far more private than the suites in First. I decided that it was the best flight I had had in CW and, if I was honest, I preferred it to First - apart from the tasting menu! The crew were as friendly as those in First but I felt that in First they were a tad formulaic.
So, in summary, both the flights to and from JNB were good. The tasting menu on the outbound was exquisite and the meal on the return was certainly the best I had had in CW but not as good as some meals I have had in UC. The overall experience is hard to gauge on JNB flights given that they are all overnight flights and the greater part is spent in sleeping but good as these were, they weren’t as memorable as others I have taken to and from JNB with Virgin. What has made the difference? The crew. Oh the BA crew were good on this flight but they do not have that je ne sais quoi that raises the bar for the VS crew.
So on to my final leg home
